Thursday, November 18, 2010

Some things never change

Social media has been both a blessing in my life and a real pain in my ass (Facebook, namely).  I have found out some very interesting (and not usually in a good way) things by way of Facebook.

Today’s lesson: My father has a Facebook account.  How do I know that? Because I was doing something for my sister via her account and POP there he was.

I promptly vomited in my mouth.

I know I have talked about my real dad in the past a little bit.

Mostly in relation to how he is really NOT a dad and no longer involved in my life.

As I was nosing around on his page browsing, I noticed he had some pictures posted.  Him, his crazy wife, their 2 crazy kids and my sister.  He has TWO OTHER DAUGHTERS,  no mention of that anywhere. 


I get it, we don’t like you, so maybe you are ashamed that your children have lived their life without you in it.  That’s probably embarrassing to all of your old friends.  Your friends that KNOW HOW MANY CHILDREN YOU HAVE.  Reason # 56928110 that he is, in fact, a douche bag.

I have no idea how a person can just “forget” they have children. Especially now that I am a mother.  I could never, not in 1 billion years or for any reason in the whole wide world just “forget” about my child.  Forget her birthday, her anniversary, her child’s birthday, holiday’s etc.  NEVER. I might not always like her or the choices she makes as she gets older, but I will ALWAYS forever and ever and ever and ever x100000000, love her more than she can ever know.   I will always call her, even if she doesn’t want me too. I will always shower her with affection, especially when she doesn’t’ want me too.  I will always be there for her, even if she doesn’t want me too.

That is called being a parent. 

You don’t get to pick and choose when to parent your children, when to love them, how to love them, which of your children to love etc. 

His actions continue to prove over and over and over again x3000, that he is not a parent. Not to me, at least. 

The only thing I have ever learned from him is how NOT to be a parent, how NOT to live and how NOT to treat the people you are supposed to love.  It makes my heart hurt a smidge to know that he will never see the awesome human I have become ON MY OWN (well, with my mom’s help!), but mostly it makes my heart sing to know that he won’t be breaking it anymore, ever again.  It sucks that he can still continue to disappoint me though, I wish that part would stop.

Thank goodness we have him in our life to make up for all the suckage this idiot has put me through.  I don’t know what I would do without him – he is the father I never had, the one he didn’t have to be to us, the one who loves us unconditionally ALL the time and who I love right back. 



renee said...

*big tears*
you know that i (unfortunately) am in that same club and know what that's like. and it freaking sucks. but like you said, you did/do have a freaking awesome mom and you now have an equally awesome DAD! it will never make up for him (i know that...), but i always think about it like this, i am saving my kids the pain that he caused me. ya know? I went through it and learned what kind of person he was so that i can protect them from that pain. they will never wonder if he loves them or why he hasnt' called in a year or why he has no interest in their lives. I stayed up late at night crying over those things, but not my babies! they will never feel what it's like to have someone who is supposed to love you unconditionally toss you aside. so you are saving g from that! you are only having those in her life that DO love her unconditionally. {{hugs}}

raisingmiles said...

awesome you have someone to take over his duties as Daddy.

aunt sissy said...

i'm right there with ya sis - HE spen all day w me today to make sure I didn't have to wait to get my car - HE rocks and the other one well can just keep ignoring us bc he doesn't know what he's missing

love you!!! *muah*

JJ said...

So sorry about this, Andrea. He does not know what he's missing!

Danifred said...

I am so sorry, honey. You, my dear, area an amazing parent and G is very lucky to have you as her Mommy!

Staci said...

I'm so sorry that you have to deal with all that. It sounds like you are an amazing parent despite any pain he's caused you! {hugs}

Rebecca said...

Ugh...Daddy crap...I hear ya!

I'm proud of you for keeping him away from your kids...that alone makes you one million times better than him...but you already know that.

Kakunaa said...

I gotta say, you have every right to be pissed. Sometimes we need someone in our lives to show us how we don't want to be, to give us a measuring stick. Sounds like he is yours.

Jen said...

I don't speak with my biological father, either. And I don't care to speak with him ever. But he shows up on my FB friend suggestions at least once a month.

He has 5 other kids, and had his "first" grandchild a few months after I had Olivia. Funny, that. (eyeroll)

I know that his other kids know I exist. I have contact with one of them on FB. I wonder what he says to them about me? Something, apparently, or else they would have no idea I was alive.

I'm better off. So are you. Fuck em.