Milestones and Catching Up (kind of)

I realized the other day (okay, many other days ago) that I hadn’t properly caught up on some big things that happened the past few (seven+) months and wanted to go back and catch up on a few things. These are all from my real camera, I still need a better system to get stuff from my phone!

Bringing Samuel Home! (04.10.2017)

Gianna is 8! (04.11.2017)

Easter 2017 (04.16.2017)

It’s always a busy, blessed day – so many little ones in our family make it so much fun! (and so loud!)

Gianna’s First Communion (05.06.2017)

We have made a decision to raise our children in the Catholic church and Gianna’s first communion was a beautiful day. She looked beautiful, she took communion with reverance and care, she showed us how much she’s grown through her PSR classes and we are so proud of her!

She had many friends and family celebrate with her as well, which was fantastic!

My children like to be hilarious in pictures!

Dance Recital 2017 (05.13.2017)

The girls danced beauifully this year – they again, continue to grow in their sport and their passion/love for dance grows with them! Their love for taking goofy pictures, well, that might never go away!

un-answers

oh, sweet little girl, you are a tough case to crack.

We had the UGI on Thursday and our pedi called by 9a Friday with the results. No blockages, nothing "bad" - but constant, continuous reflux. [Mike and I actually were in the room during the test and we could see her refluxing on the x-ray machine - it was crazy]

"Solution" - thickened feedings w/ rice cereal.

Who would think to check the ingredients on rice cereal for milk or soy? Well - if your child is intolerant to either of these things, you should. Because we were using Gerber at first - insert screaming bloody murder here. Thanks to the genius of a good friend, we switched her to some organic, non-soy containing rice.

AND THEN she refused to eat. I cut the nipples so the stuff would come out, she didn't care. It took me, and I am not exaggerating here, TWO HOURS to get her to drink TWO OUNCES. Followed by another painstaking three ounces in an hour at her next feeding. Today was better, but it still is taking far too long - she is just plain not interested in eating.

Oh, and the food? It is still on me, her and the floor instead of in her belly. So - tell me how much this is helping please.... We aren't giving up yet, but I'm not holding my breath that this will make things all better.

So - really, we know nothing more than we did last week. But - the prevacid is starting to kick in I think, if you don't count the 3 screaming episodes of today....

Reflux Repeat

You may remember that little miss G is a reflux baby.

You may also remember that she we doubled the dose of her Zantac at her 2month well-check.

I haven't said too much else about it, because, we have just been dealing.

We had been noticing that she was eating LESS, crying MORE & projectile vomiting more for a few days. It got to a point where it clearly wasn't a "phase" - this little girl was miserable.

Truck back to the pedi on Tuesday- she has only gained 5oz in a month. OK, 25 days.

Switch to Prevacid.

Need to get more food into her a day & stay on the Alimentum for her MSPI. [good luck chuck]

Schedule Upper GI - this is today. I am not nervous or worried, I assumed we would have it done at this point. The girl can hit a target a few feet away when she pukes....and she does it all day, not everyday, but most. Not to mention the crying that follows...it's very sad!

I am thankful she sleeps all night, on her back (well - side). But daytime is bad for her - really REALLY bad. Because, lucky girl, has silent reflux along with the projectile stuff. She will gag and get really tense. Cry in her sleep.

So, we hope for some answers soon - and RELIEF! If you have a reflux baby too, like Jen & I, she wrote 2 really great posts about it recently - I recommend reading them.

you know that place....

where uncertainty meets reality? (or where your boobs meet your stomach....*) I am there!

I feel like there is so much in limbo in my life right now yet so many things moving forward full steam ahead that eventually all of these things are going to collide and become real!

• 14wks until the baby is due (yay!) and lots of things left to do (i promise i won't list them all!) to prepare.....
• our living situation is forever uncertain just based on the fact that any time someone could buy it. while i know things will get taken care of in this sense, it still makes a girl uneasy - especially since the solution to easy my fears was shot down.
• waiting to find out if i got accepted into the masters program i really want.
• hoping my job gets better and can keep me more entertained during the day.
• husband starts school in a few weeks, our schedules will definatly be changing.
• an overwhelming number of financial concerns - all that i am certain will be handled well but good lord they all have to come at one time huh?
• really just wondering what kind of mom i will be when i feel like i know nothing about raising a child besides the basics! but i do have my dr. seuss voice ready so there is that....

I know i need to take a deep breathe and chill out but it is hard for me. I am a planner. I want to know things will work out just like I see them in my head and most of these things I have no control over at all. I need organization, order, excel spreadsheets.

The excitement over the baby is starting to build though and the idea that this little acrobat inside of me will be on the outside sooner than later, that is scary! ( i mean how will it get out here? i know my belly button can't expand that much right?!** ) I want to know if it is a boy or a girl - most of you seem to think girl! Husband thinks girl, I do some days. Some days I think alien***. We have another appt on Thursday - GTT test - I think everything will be fine as long as I can still have my oreos!

*ya, i discovered this surprise while changing the other day. my boobs have never touched anything other than fabric before - i was quite unsure how to handle this!

**I know the baby doesn't come out of my belly button, but I can't bring myself to think about where it ACTUALLY comes out of yet....

***I also know I am not carrying an alien, but the way this munchkin moves you would like there are about 6 arms and 8 legs sometimes!

late breaking news

First things first - OB appt #1.

Went great! I feel so much better now that I know there is a baby growing in there for REAL! She answered all of my questions, gave me some new drugs for my migraines (which have been beyond bad lately) and some tricks for the nausea. Now we have to think about: which hospital we want to deliever at and if want to use midwives v. doctor. All things to keep in mind over the next few months! In 3 weeks we get to hear the heartbeat and I am so so excited for this!!

Next up - NEW JOB!!

So on thursday I was calling to check on a couple leads about jobs - nothing. Took a shower. When I got out - one of those places was calling back to say that they had something for me, it started tomorrow (friday), do I want it. I was like uh - hell ya! [but i just yes, of course!] So I went in yesterday afternoon - it was a little boring but they didn't want to 'overwhelm' me. Hopefully soon they will see that it takes a LOT to get me to that point!! But, really I am thankful for full-time employment and don't even want to complain. Everyone so far has been SO nice. The bad thing: no one knows I am pregnant yet - and I didn't know how to go about eating something every hour or so, so I didn't. I almost died on the way home because my migraine came on full swing [it always does in the car]. I sat in the dark sleeping/whimpering from 5:30 until I actually fell asleep for good at about 10:30. Terrible way to end a great day. But now I will just have to snack and hope no one cares - can't be going through that everyday.

OOH - and I think I have made a decision about the rest of my life, more on this later.

Snap out of it

i am officially annoyed at myself and my body at the end of this TWW.

i have been really good [by my own standards] at keeping my mind off of things, not focusing too much on the if's and just doing what i need to do everyday. but all of a sudden - like yesterday - i woke up thinking "should i have drank that beer last night?" (you know, for the 'baby's' sake) and since then - that is all i can think about no matter how hard i try not too.

I do not necessarily think i am pregnant, yes i feel like my uterus might be taking over my body with all of the cramping i have been feeling the past few days - but i did play with the WiiFit the other night! I also have had plenty of other nonspecific things going on that should mean absolutly nothing, but I think way too much about them. But - I do not want to take a test until I "need" too. Last month really put me in a funk after all those BFN's and I would rather not.

So, I just need to snap out of this mind set, enjoy the party I am throwing today, focus on studying starting tomorrow and if something wonderful happens on Wed.... well, then it will be the best birthday in the world. [and if it doesn't, it will still be a good day.]

step away

from the 'pregnancy symptom checker' websites.

i am telling you what - this TWW is getting ridic! i actually have HPT in the house - not something i am used to, and not something that is good for my health (mental or otherwise) b/c she has no willpower. none. zero.

• tested friday (9dpo) = BFN
• tested this am (11dpo) = BFN
• surprising - no!
• early for testing? - yes!! [kinda, the super fertile myrtles get bfp's @ those days in their cycle... but then some don't so i am not worrying... much... right?!]

ahhh just make the cramps/headaches/etc. stop - or AF come - or something!*

on a different note - i am very much enjoying my weekend of nothingness - until later when i have to actually accomplish things. but that's later right?

* i am ok-ish with not being pg,

i am not ok with feeling like crap and not being pg at the same time

it will just make me whine more.

::tick tock::

is it friday yet? b/c that would be fabulous - i would know if the reason i have felt like complete CRAP the past few days is b/c i am getting the flu or a little person is nesting inside of me......

since i feel like being a big baby at the moment - here are my symptoms:

• nausea - constantly after 5p past 3 or so days, and in the am too sometimes
• sore throat since thursday
• heart burn
• headaches (migraine 2 days ago... but i get those as we all know)
• t.i.r.e.d - i took a nap! 2 days in a row!
• my belly hurts (nausea? cramps? waaahhhh)

ok that's enough i think.... i'm sure i could come up with more, but that is enough! (and the other stuff may be TMI!) I know i said that this time the 'tww' or w/e had gone pretty fast, and yes that is true - until today. all of a sudden i just need it to be friday, or i should just be a big girl and go buy a freaking test and take it so i stop my wondering already and can get on with my life. As we all know, i am not the most optomistic of people so i don't really think i am pg, i guess i want to just know for sure i am not? or that i am? Every month when it gets to this stage i get all wierd about it.

But - on the flip side, one of my best friends could be pg at the same time as me, so send your baby dust to both of us - at the same time plz as this would be cool. we are both trying - so yes we would appreciate to have babies together!

Oh and send some to Jen -she would also love some of your baby dust, i don't mind sharing, as you can tell by all of the women who surround me, there is enough to go around.

I'll be back in a few days - probably with a thumbs up or a thumbs down (and maybe even some news to share about what hospitals you can find me at starting in august... ooh aahhh....)

give me a break

nauseas.
fatigue.
emotional instability.

ya that is me in a nutshell over the past few days - what does it mean? someone asked me if i was pregnant today. i have wondered that myself, but i am too big of a chicken to take a HPT so we will just have to wait and see if 'aunt flo' arrives friday or not. if not, then maybe i'll take a test. i think about it - more at times than others - but i'll be ok either way.

one thing that is kind of strange though, is the fact that i am back to not being able to concentrate. why?????
i am not doing good enough for that - not at all. but yet i study, study, study and feel like it was nearly all for nothing (i at least retain some things!) test in a week, that is not a good place to be - i think this test is going to be tricky too.
i know i am smart, i just don't know why i am not focusing, maybe it is the nausea - it is distracting afterall.