someplace to lay your little head
prints by the awesome Alison of ten tiny toes designs
come out, my sweet girl – we are ready to meet you!
I can’t seem to come up with much to write these days that doesn’t involve or revolve around the them of “COME.OUT.COME.OUT.COME.OUT.LITTLE.GIRL” And I know not everyone is interested in THAT.
And I realized I haven’t posted a lot of pictures lately. So, even if you aren’t interested, here’s a little december photodump for you. I don’t think I posted any of these before, but if I did, here you go again.
beginning of december:
a little mid-december cookie making.
the awesome christmas madness at grandma and papa’s house!
because everyone paints at 7 am
disco dance party
NYE, threenager style
Dear baby girl -
It’s been 39 weeks (give or take) since you started your journey on the inside. Since you started growing, changing, kicking, rolling and hiccupping. We waited for you to start that inside journey for almost a year and in the process we learned a lot about patience, heartache, loss, and love too. It wasn’t always easy – but we knew it would be worth it in the end. And we were right.
As we wait for you to make your way from the inside to the outside – your dad, big sister and I talk about what it’s going to be like with you here. What you might look like. If you are going to have hair that Gianna can put bows in. Where you will sleep. What car seat you will ride in. How much we are going to love you.
If I had to guess, just based on the way you move on the inside, I would say that you are going to be following in your big sister’s adorable, highly energetic footsteps. I got to see a picture of you a few weeks ago and you look like you are going to have some awesome, pinch able cheeks and an itty bitty nose. I would venture to guess you will have lots of hair and blue eyes. I imagine you are going to like it when you have your back rubbed or your butt patted – you are always sticking your backside out! You are quite an energetic inside baby – I almost get nervous when I don’t feel you all the time – but you need to rest too! In fact, right now you are wiggling all around.
It has been a really busy 39 (give or take) weeks – but I think we are finally prepared for you. Your room is finally ready for you to sleep in. The swing is ready in the living room, right next to Gianna’s big bounce horse. Your car seat is all set up to keep you safe. There are a LOT of really cute clothes, shoes & bows waiting for you to make them even cuter.
Your sister talks to you every day – she hugs & kisses my belly too. It is probably going to be a little tricky, and maybe a little tough on her, when you first come out – but just know that she loves you so so much, she just needs to get used to you being here. Your daddy talks to you all the time, he is really ready for you to come out so he can snuggle you up. Your aunts, uncles, grandma, papa and so many other people are anxiously waiting for you to arrive too. And me? Well I get to spend all my time with you – loving you, talking to you, feeling you dance around and keeping you as safe as possible. I tell you all about my day, our plans, our lives, how fun it is to play with your sister and what a great place Target is – all of the important life lessons!
I just really can’t wait to see who you are – who you grow into. How much you and Gianna are alike, or different. What it is like to be a mom to sisters, and not just a sister myself. I can’t believe we are so close to meeting you, after all this time, all this waiting, hoping, and praying.
But most of all and more than anything else – we are all so ready to love you from the outside, our newest tiny dancer.
love you so much -
I am so thankful that I had today off of work. The three day weekend couldn’t have come at a more perfect time.
Mainly because I dread getting dressed for work since nothing really fits me and the feet/leg swelling by lunch time is out of control. And I had all of these THINGS I just needed to get off my list. And I think I got like 98% of them accomplished.
I was able to run all kinds of errands that I needed to get done and out of the way. I got my eyebrows threaded (thank freaking goodness). All the laundry is caught up. The cupboards and fridge are stocked. The bathrooms are clean. So is the laundry room, because I could not handle the lint stuck on the top of the washer anymore! The sheets are washed. Carpets are swept. The baby’s bag is packed. The desk/office area is finally re-resembling organization after far too long. The car seat base is installed. Her bag is ready full of cute things for her to wear at the hospital. We surprised Gianna with Disney on Ice (thank you, employer and your awesome company suite!)And today I had an awesome afternoon just hanging out with my sister, niece and my BFF who is expecting twin boys very soon. I even made dinner and showered today. And Gianna and Mike are totally rocking out to Just Dance 4 right now! (They are both pretty good, actually!)
I need to have Monday’s off more often.
So the THINGS are ready. I am feeling like our house is as prepared as it possibly can be for this young lady to move in.
Now, as for the actual HAVING a baby preparedness? I know that I am as prepared as I can be to do this thing without drugs. And honestly, I am pretty excited for the experience – I am ready to do this and to see what my body is made of.
I also know that everyday I have a new, totally unfounded, irrational fear. The other day? It was “OMFGOODNESS what if I don’t realize I am in labor?” One day last week it was “what if my water breaks while I am driving to/from work?”
Then there are the nagging uneasy feelings and what if’s that kind of follow me around. What if I have to be induced? What if it takes two hours to push her out like it did her sister? What if I can’t do this the way I want too? What if I forget every single thing I learned in our Bradley class? What if I suck at breastfeeding?
The answer to all of those things is ‘so what IF they happen?” I know how I will handle all of them and I know that anything I DON’T know, I will figure out the best I can IF I need too. So I need to just stay positive, keep everything in perspective, etc.
But DUDE! The closer it gets to her coming, the more
irrational hormonal I get. I guess I just really don’t like knowing when things are going to go down. It probably has something to do with why I haven’t packed anything for myself. I am okay with the “wait and see” approach one minute and the next minute I am crying because I just want to know already! Even if it’s not until February 12th, I just want to KNOW when the end is.
Overall, I think I am as ready as I can be. WE are as ready as we can be. We have been trying to get Gianna prepared as possible – but we are realistic and know there are going to be hurdles in that department, but she is ready for her sister to come too. She asks her all the time if she’s ready to come out yet!
Let’s hope I can stay busy enough to stay sane, not lose my cool (because again, HORMONAL!) and keep smiling through all of the
not really fun at all things that happen at the very end of pregnancy.
In case no one has informed you, being married can be hard work. Keeping someone else as your priority is hard. Especially when you have 1 (almost 2) little someone-else’s who depend on both of you.
Mike and I (and probably most married people) go through peeks and valleys, we are totally in sync for awhile and then we let life take over and get out of sync. Right now? we are hovering somewhere in between leaving toward the out of sync side.
I am about 90% certain that has to do with the whole, the baby will be here soon and we have to get things ready for her, scenario. And that I am totally mentally exhausted by the time I get home from work. the other 10% has to do with some other stress we are dealing with that, again, is just a part of life and we simply need to get through it. But it isn’t helping things that is FOR SURE.
After Gianna was born, we went from hovering in this in between space to way off the grid disconnected. A constantly crying baby has a way of totally throwing you off your game! We both know that we don’t want to get to that place again. But I think that both of us are sort of having a hard time figuring out how exactly to stay away from there – how to stay in the zone, so to speak.
Our lives (all three of us) are about to get shaken up in a big way – I know that right now I am super emotional and I get annoyed and frustrated at nothing. I also know that after this peanut arrives, it will be more of the same – only I will be home with her and Gianna AND Mike most of the time. This will be good for a minute, but I just have a feeling that in the end – all of that togetherness will be a problem! We have a unique situation in that he is the stay at home parent and I am not – so I’ll be here wanting to do all the stay at home mom stuff and he’ll be here too…..
getting in my way… helping.
What’s the trick for staying in the zone – anytime, really – but especially when you are going through such a huge change? I’d love to hear some tips on staying sane as a couple and as parents when you are adding additional little people to your life. It’ll all work out in the end, but you know, I’d rather it not get worse before it gets better.
I know the dynamics of every couple are different. I am incredibly terrible at communicating my feelings (I like to assume he KNOWS how I feel, but almost six years of marriage later and I know that doesn’t happen) and also incredibly terrible at showing physical affection – I’m just not an overly affectionate person, I guess.
A few weeks ago I posted this list of things that we need to do before baby girl makes her debut.
I think it’s time to revisit the list because well, she will be here anytime between right now and a few weeks from right now.
Thankfully, thanks to my awesome sister and fabulous friends & family, we were able to knock a lot of these things out at our little “sprinkle” a few weeks ago.
I think we are in a good place, or close to a good place to bring her home – am I missing anything that we HAVE TO DO before she gets here?
Things to buy sooner (for the girls):
Things to buy soon-ish (for me/mike/house)
Things to pull out of storage/wash
Things to put into storage
Rooms to Tackle: Gianna's Room
Rooms to Tackle: Baby's Room
Rooms to Tackle: The rest of the upstairs!
And I have added a whole bunch of other stuff to the “other” category over the past few days. Things that will just make me feel better if they get done, but won’t kill me if they don’t.
I feel equal parts prepared and unprepared depending on the minute. I can not believe the unprepared-ness that is going on right now. My mom is convinced I’m in denial this girl could arrive any day, and maybe I am a little bit. I just keep saying “after THIS” then she can come when she wants. But you know how that goes, there is always another THIS. And the fact that she will come when she is ready!
38 weeks. Maximum of 3ish weeks left to be pregnant. Fingers crossed it’s really not that long!
sometimes, that is how I look at blogging – to catch the things I don’t want to forget.
which entails remembering to blog about those things. which, I feel like I need to do right now!
So excuse me while I catch some memories for my future self.
To Remember about Gianna right now:
To Remember about this pregnancy
I am 36 weeks pregnant.
I don’t know how this pregnancy is almost over, but it is. And I haven’t done a good job, at all, documenting my pregnancy in any way. We have random belly pictures (but maternity pictures are this weekend!) and I think I may have only written two letters to this girl so far. Her room is still not totally ready and we have a dauntingly decent sized list of things we still need to get before she arrives.
But, she finally has a name. And we have a crib and a car seat and clothes. And some diapers and finally some wipes. The essentials, we have covered. I think. I keep telling myself that is all that matters, but I want it to all just be DONE. We still need to get a glider/rocker/some sort of chair for her room – that is our last “big” thing. I think. If you don’t count a breast pump. I’ll get that eventually.
Our Bradley classes are almost complete and I am really looking forward to this birth experience. My birth plan is rough, at best, but we are comfortable with our decisions and how we not only hope things will go, but how we plan to address situations as they may arise. We are flexible, but know what our hopes, goals and wants are in the end. And I am 99% sure we have a birth photographer lined up, so that is pretty fun for me.
Last week we had to go in for a fetal echo after an ultrasound showed a few things that needed a further look. We were assured things look fine, she might need another one after she is born, but nothing to worry about. Now that we have that behind us, I feel better.
I still have the most ridiculous heartburn, but thankfully my sister hooked me up with some zantac which is helping at night. I can’t wait to see if/how much hair this girl has. When my heartburn is at bay enough to sleep at night I still can’t sleep because I can’t breathe when I lay down. And comfort only happens in short intervals. But even though I am tired, I wouldn’t trade my little 2am quiet time where I get to feel this girl rolling around on the inside. It’s comforting, in a way. I know she is safe in there.
I am very very quickly running out of clothes that fit. Makes getting ready for work a challenge every day! My feet are generally swollen all of the time and I took my wedding ring off two or three weeks ago. Braxton Hicks are no joke this time around, either! But you know what – I feel a ton better than I did at this time of my pregnancy with G, so that’s pretty nice.
Mike and I are really starting to get excited for her arrival. My maternity leave is 98% approved. And Gianna? well, she is excited too – a little unsure maybe, but we are all excited to watch her transition into her big sister role. She does such a great job with her cousin and she is constantly concerned with what baby sister is doing. Gianna knows her sister is coming soon and we talk about her all the time. Gianna knows that baby’s are not always so awesome and that they cry a lot and need their mommy a lot. But she also knows that mommy’s make time for their big kids too.
I am generally nervous about having an infant living in my house again. I am undeniably nervous about breastfeeding, but looking forward to it at the same time. There is nothing that can prepare a person for the lack of sleep, but I have lots of coffee to help. I have no idea how things are going to go with both kids, I’m sure it will all be very normal very quickly and I’ll wonder what I was so concerned about in the end.
But most of all – I just want her to be here safe and sound. I can’t wait to see her cheeks and her nose and her hair. And to just snuggle her up and love her the most.
4 more weeks, give or take a week or so, until this girl is here. Living on the outside.