hi friends

you know what, internets, life with a baby is WAYYY busier than it was without the baby. I was not sure that was possible?!

I still can not come up with a good routine for myself. Work all day, visit with the baby, put the baby to sleep, put myself to sleep.....
but you know what is missing in there?
NO?
Here let me show you: Husband, eating, chores, friends, general relaxing, exercising/losing my chub, husband.....

Further explanation:
I have not eaten a real dinner [on a work day] in weeks, not even exaggerating since i had cereal tonight. at 8:30.
I have had a shit ton of work - and I have to bring some of it home, so baby in bed - me working - hubby is lonely. And frankly, so am I.
I haven't seen my friends in WEEKS (maybe even a month?? longer for some of them).
My house looks like a bomb went off in it in the general areas of - bedroom, laundry area and kitchen 6.5/7 days of the week. [these are by my standards, which are high, we do not live in filth!]
Many things are on the back burner that probably shouldn't be - and I don't have energy to care.
[mom, close your eyes] We haven't had sex in far too long, and you know why, because by 9:15p I am heading for the bed and by 9:17p I am in dreamland. I would like to do it... birth control is in place [thank you Mirena] so no worries on that front but pass the ENERGY please! [ok, mom, you can look now]
Thankfully I do find time to workout/run - just not as often/as much as I would like too.

So, while my little angel has a great routine going most days [at least she goes to bed b/w 7-8 every night and stays there until 7-8 in the morning], her mama is struggling. Some days are so good.... most are so far from that. I need to get this under control before I start school next month because it is only going to get worse.

Then again, the busier I get, the more organized and time efficient I get too....
Not the point!

I want to enjoy the summer, the sunshine, my family. What is/are/do you suggest as a good routine that will give me time to get it all done while working full time?!! [and yes, Mike does help do things around here!]

p.s. i have like, a zillion ADORABLE pictures to show you. but they are all still on my camera. see, just one more thing that isn't getting done!

un-answers

oh, sweet little girl, you are a tough case to crack.

We had the UGI on Thursday and our pedi called by 9a Friday with the results. No blockages, nothing "bad" - but constant, continuous reflux. [Mike and I actually were in the room during the test and we could see her refluxing on the x-ray machine - it was crazy]

"Solution" - thickened feedings w/ rice cereal.

Who would think to check the ingredients on rice cereal for milk or soy? Well - if your child is intolerant to either of these things, you should. Because we were using Gerber at first - insert screaming bloody murder here. Thanks to the genius of a good friend, we switched her to some organic, non-soy containing rice.

AND THEN she refused to eat. I cut the nipples so the stuff would come out, she didn't care. It took me, and I am not exaggerating here, TWO HOURS to get her to drink TWO OUNCES. Followed by another painstaking three ounces in an hour at her next feeding. Today was better, but it still is taking far too long - she is just plain not interested in eating.

Oh, and the food? It is still on me, her and the floor instead of in her belly. So - tell me how much this is helping please.... We aren't giving up yet, but I'm not holding my breath that this will make things all better.

So - really, we know nothing more than we did last week. But - the prevacid is starting to kick in I think, if you don't count the 3 screaming episodes of today....

Reflux Repeat

You may remember that little miss G is a reflux baby.

You may also remember that she we doubled the dose of her Zantac at her 2month well-check.

I haven't said too much else about it, because, we have just been dealing.

We had been noticing that she was eating LESS, crying MORE & projectile vomiting more for a few days. It got to a point where it clearly wasn't a "phase" - this little girl was miserable.

Truck back to the pedi on Tuesday- she has only gained 5oz in a month. OK, 25 days.

Switch to Prevacid.

Need to get more food into her a day & stay on the Alimentum for her MSPI. [good luck chuck]

Schedule Upper GI - this is today. I am not nervous or worried, I assumed we would have it done at this point. The girl can hit a target a few feet away when she pukes....and she does it all day, not everyday, but most. Not to mention the crying that follows...it's very sad!

I am thankful she sleeps all night, on her back (well - side). But daytime is bad for her - really REALLY bad. Because, lucky girl, has silent reflux along with the projectile stuff. She will gag and get really tense. Cry in her sleep.

So, we hope for some answers soon - and RELIEF! If you have a reflux baby too, like Jen & I, she wrote 2 really great posts about it recently - I recommend reading them.

Wordless Wednesday

Click here

[I love bath time!!]

fun house mirror

I have been having a VERY hard time with this whole "post baby body".
I can not wrap my head around the way I look. I feel like I am looking in one of those fun house mirrors every day. You know, the ones that make you have a big ass and a fat face? Except it's a real mirror. And my real body at the moment.
I can not and will not accept this version of myself.

I was a little bit naive about the whole pregnancy weight thing -- I knew when the weight was going on that it would have to come off and I kept telling myself that I would work on it and it would be no big deal. But it is a VERY big deal. Much bigger than I thought it would be. When I look in the mirror I don't feel like I am looking at myself - I am used to the pre-baby version of myself and the pregnant version of myself - not this deflated version.

Also, there is a problem with clothes.
None of my pre-baby clothes fit. [they scream at me for even looking at them]
None of my maternity clothes fit (and I would not be caught dead wearing them now anyway)
I don't want to go buy "new" clothes and nothing seems to look right. I used to be able to just pick up what I wanted off the rack, not have to try it on and know it would look good. Not so much currently. How do you disguise hips that are 3x wider and a pizza-dough stomach? I am just thankful I can wear scrubs to work and that I have a good collection of dresses.....

I have had plenty of people tell me I look good for "just having a baby". Thanks, but I really hate that comment to be honest. I want someone to tell me that I look good. period. Besides my husband, who insists that I look fabulous. I love him. The truth is, it really doesn't matter who says what, until I can see what I want to in the mirror I won't be a happy camper.
In my own defense, I am losing weight, slowly. 17lbs to go. I am still running [that 5k isn't going to run itself!] and working on toning/strength training and anything that will get my thighs to stop touching [almost there!].

Would much prefer to be the hare in this race....