Giannaisms: Special Edition

As always, Miss G is keeping us on her toes with her whit, sarcasm and general shenanigans!
A sampling for your Friday:

::in an attempt to get out of riding in the cart at the store::
G: Aunt Jacqui, do they have floors at Wal-Mart?
J: Yes.....
G: I think they are for little girls to walk on....

::in an attempt to drive her mother nuts::
{{back story - my sisters have a cat, who we thought was a girl}}

G walks up the steps at my parent's house yelling "Papa keeps sayin' the cat has bawlls*"

again in the car last night:
G: bawlls! (hysterical laughter)
Me: Gianna, don't say that!
G: (after an appropriate amount of silence) BAWLLS!!! (even more hysterical laughter)
::in an attempt to melt our hearts::
A few weeks ago:
Mike: Gianna, do you think you would like it if we had a baby at our house?
G: Ya, that would be cool.  Like baby Luci**?
Mike: Ya, do you think you would like if Mommy had a baby in her belly like Aunt Jacqui?
G: A SISTER????  (comes to me, lifts up my shirt and says "Hi baby sister!!")
When will she be here? Tomorrow?
Us: No, not for a long time, after it snows outside
G: will it snow tomorrow?

One morning before work:
G: Is baby sister hungry?
Me: Um, I dont' think so.
G: yes she is, I'm going to feed her a muffin (places muffin on my stomach!)

Earlier this week:
G: Daddy keeps teasin' me that I'm gunna have a brother. But I'm not - it's a sister
Me: Well, we don't really know yet, it could be a brother.
G: No.

Yesterday:
Me: Come here, G - I have to show you something really cool.
G: What is it Mawwwmy***?
Me: Here, look at this:

I seriously can't even believe this is happening.

G: WOAH! Is that a picture of my sister?? She is SOOO cute! Can she come out now?


So, there you have it.
1 year of tears, frustration, heartache and nothing going "according to plan"
4 months of testing and various medical interventions
2 RE's
2 months of clomid,et al.
1 perfect, beautiful little human who was worth it all without question
1 big sister who has no idea what she is in for
and 2 parents who couldn't be happier that our dreams of expanding our family will be realized on or around January 30, 2013.

We ALL love you more than you even know already, little one.

*I really really really hate the word balls.

** that's my niece's name! I can't wait to meet her soon!

*** she always says mommy so weird when she is excited, or whining

Assisted baby making v. 2.0

Read {Versions 1.0 and 1.1}

• We the April cycle off due to a cyst from the clomid. 
• And I decided that I was ultimately not happy with how things were going with Dr. Wonderful & co.  Ya, he was really nice but no one would ever TELL me anything/appease my need for knowledge. 
• I got a recommendation for Dr. SuperAwesome and decided, why not? It wasn’t going to hurt anything to talk to someone else. 
• And it turns out, I really really like him and he was way more on track with what we wanted/needed/could afford etc.
• So, clomid crazies round two commenced.
• Except the worst side effect I have from all of this is acne.  It is the worst I have EVER had in my life.  And let me tell you – it seriously sucks!
• Reading the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy is a great way to make the baby making not feel so “assisted” if you get my drift.  (no really, I did like the books though – I was kinda sad when I finished the last one!)
• Nothing all that exciting this time, just waiting and still trying not to let my mind wander to any dark places.

Friday Night Leftovers

• I’ve been helping my BFF look for houses – she lives in a different state and is moving back here with her JUST BORN TODAY BABY GIRL(!) and husband in July.  It’s an interesting position to be in – but I’m blessed she trusts me enough to take on such a responsibility for them.
• I LOVE looking at houses. And have a recent, rather large, obsession with house hunters right now. We aren’t moving or even thinking about moving for at least a year, but still, I obsess. And continuously increase my mental to-do list.
• Three year olds are pretty awesome creatures.  G and I have had some pretty excellent days lately (or rather, 2 hours in the evening before bed) and it just makes my heart so incredibly happy.
• Yesterday was an appointment with a new RE. He’s super freaking nice and down to earth and very much the opposite level of aggressiveness as my other RE.
• We have a plan, that fits our needs and our budget, for right now.  I know that if this processes isn’t successful though, we can move forward as we feel comfortable with his support. It just feels like a better fit for us.
• On that note, this is officially the 12th month of TTC #2. The 12th heartbreaking month.  I am confident this journey will end with another baby in our arms because this pain, it can’t last forever, right?
• I have some big blog posts semi constructed in my head. Some are a little heavy, some aren’t.  I just can’t seem to get them to make sense.
• Is it spring time yet? I’m ready for the weather here to make up its mind and stay nice!

Friday Night Leftovers

• It’s days/nights like this that I feel so overwhelmingly blessed to have Gianna. To be her mom. To get to love her and see her smile and laugh with her.  It was just a really good day.
• It’s also days like this, days that I get to spend with my daughter, that fuel the fire to stay home with her.
• It might not ever happen, but I’ll never stop trying to make things work it out that I can be home more than I’m at work.
• Tomorrow is the big “pink” spring 3rd birthday party bash.  Everything is ready and I’m looking forward to a great day tomorrow.
• I’ve been feeling good and sick the past few days, and today? I’m losing my voice.  Excellent timing.
• After thinking about things more, I decided it would be good to see a new RE, to at least get a 2nd opinion on what’s going on and what treatment will be best for me.  It was a surprisingly hard decision, but I’m looking forward to it.
• I’ve been in a generally good place emotionally this month, and I hope that continues even after tomorrow.  We are pretty much the only ones of our friends (who has kids) who has only 1.  For some reason, that is hard on me sometimes – watching G with her friends and their siblings knowing that is something I haven’t been able to give her yet. 
• My BFF who lives in Florida is having a c-section next friday! I am excited for them, and a little bummed I won’t get to be there to meet their girl. BUT! They are moving back here soon, so it' won’t be long.
• I have had the WORST acne in my LIFE the past few weeks.  I don’t know if it’s from the clomid and/or HCG and/or progesterone from last month or just because – but I do know that it’s freaking obnoxious.
• Don’t forget to check out my Tooth Fairy 2 movie giveaway!!!
• and share your leftovers over @ Danifred’s
• happy weekend, my friends.

Friday Night Leftovers: Plans edition

• I was able to work from home today – it was a much needed morning with my family.
• We finished all of our advanced dining reservations for our August Walt Disney World trip and I am so stupidly excited for this trip!
• There are still lots of plans that need to be made – like our plane reservations and I want to plan some fun stuff to bring for Gianna.
• I had a monitoring ultrasound today for this cycle.  We had really been debating what we wanted to do this month – but we were just going to move forward with clomid/IUI again.
• Except I have a cyst, so we’ll just be moving forward on our own for another month.
• God totally has a sense of humor – I even chuckled as I was leaving the office today.  Considering as he totally made the choice about what to do this month pretty crystal clear.
• Funny how He gives us little glimpses of His plan for us when we least expect it.
• Surprisingly, I am okay with all of this.  I don’t really have a choice, of course, but mentally, I feel okay with it.
• So all of my energy for the month will go in to Easter and planning Gianna’s birthday party.
• I have a really fun idea for her birthday pictures, so that’s exciting.  I also have about a million ideas (a’la Pineterest, natch) for her party – I need to get.on.the.ball with all that.
• We finally started the long-standing mental plans I have had to move the rooms around and get some better organization in this house.
• But, my plans for the rest of the weekend involve a bottle of Barefoot Moscato, a jewelry show tomorrow, an easter egg hunt on Sunday and some more of said bottle of Moscato. 

assisted baby making v. 1.1

continued from v. 1.0 post

- Dr. Wonderful said, as he was doing the PCT – we are probably going to see “nice clear cervical mucous with lots of good sperm” – I’ll be right back with the results.

- He came back REALLY fast. And when the first words out of a medical professionals mouth are “don’t let this news ruin your day” – you are probably screwed.

- Dr. Wonderful, while he really is wonderful, is also very matter of fact.  So he put it to me straight (which I like) and basically said the best chance for success with this cycle was insemination. tomorrow. and that will be $300.

- I didn't even know this was a possibility – sure I had THOUGHT about “what if” we got to the point of needing to do an IUI, but never did I even imagine that decision would need to be made EVER. let alone in less than 24 hours because no one mentioned the fact that after the PCT – things might need to change. 

- it was a tough, tough day – Mike and I hadn’t talked about this – and both have very strong feelings about this stuff.

- ultimately, we went through with it and for 3 of 5 days last week, a peek at the lady parts by a medical professional is how I started my day.

- did you know after an IUI you can get super bloated and have ridiculous cramps? I didn’t. But I do know.

- I need to have all the facts, and the hardest part of this cycle have been all the unknowns – all the things I wish I had known ahead of time just to be prepared.  But now I know and I survived and am better prepared should I need to be in the future.

- so here we are. in that damn TWW. wondering what has gone so wrong with my body since I had Gianna.  wondering what, should we need to, we will do next, differently, and when it would all go down because we do know that back to back medicated cycles are probably out of the picture for us.  I hate how much my mind wanders sometimes, and I am really trying to just let it be – because it really is out of my hands at this point.

assisted baby making v. 1.0

* I started this obviously, at the beginning of the month, and hesitated to post it – but again, obviously, changed my mind.  Mostly because there is so much I wish I had known in the beginning, and maybe other people would like to know this stuff too.   The whole timeline etc. is broken up into 2 posts.

- CD1 came, as expected.  And I was told to come in for an ultrasound and to bring $175 since our insurance doesn’t cover infertility treatments. I wasn’t too sure what the ultrasound was for but I figured I should just go with it. 

So I went in, had the ultrasound and got the prescription for the goods.  I really was not prepared for all that was coming my way.  Clomid. Hcg. Progesterone. On top of the prenatal, foltex and baby aspirin. Wooh. My husband is a little taken aback by the idea that the progesterone goes IN my vagina.  As am I, I guess but eh.

- I took the first clomid pill on CD4 and did not turn in to an instant bitch like I thought I might. In fact, it was pretty uneventful besides the daily headache.  Which may or may not have been from the drugs.

- I have been temping for about 4 or 5 cycles now and I have noticed that my temperatures are MUCH higher, almost a full degree, than what they are typically.  could be the clomid? could be exhaustion leading to user error too, I suppose.  still – kind of weird.

- Sometimes I feel as if I should FEEL something about all of this – but I am kind of numb, like I hate that this what needs to happen, but I accept it and just want to move on.  I know Mike isn’t entirely on the same page as me with how far we will go in regards to treatments, but I am just staying quietly hopeful that we won’t need to go any further.

- Our monitoring ultrasound showed 1 good, 1 okay and 2 small follicles and ended with an HcG trigger shot in the ass. Uneventful, overall.

- we had to do a post coital test the next morning.  that was as unpleasant as it sounds and ended in a totally unexpected way.

Weekend Rambles

• Zumba was SO FUN! I am excited to go back!
• I had my baseline ultrasound for this cycle on Friday. It was uneventful and Clomid started yesterday. But you know what sucks? The fact that my insurance pays for ZERO % of any of this. 
• It was kind of like, okay, so you started your period – we’ll see you in 2 days and bring your money tree.  Or at least that’s how it felt.  I just wasn’t prepared for the expense of multiple ultrasounds and HcG and Progesterone on top of everything.  It’s okay. Just a surprise.
• I also was not prepared for Gianna to wake up yesterday morning at 4am puking.  That was a terrific way to wake up on a Saturday.
• This is only the 2nd time in her life that she has actually vomited like an adult.  And it was really sad because she was SO confused at what was happening to her.
• I am thankful we do not have carpet. Because getting her to the bathroom or to aim was not happening.
• She must have either had the shortest stomach virus ever or ate something she shouldn’t have, because she was totally fine after she woke up at about 10:30am.
• I had a jewelry show yesterday and I am doing a training show for one of my new jewelers today. I think in the end I will have worked at least one job for 12 or 13 days in a row.  A lot of days I will have worked 2 jobs.  I’m already ready for a nap.
• Gianna went on a surprise pancake date with her Papa this morning, he is seriously her favorite person ever! She was so excited!
• Mike and I have been cleaning (operation organization!) the kitchen and living room – we cleared off the top of the refrigerator, took care of the bookshelf clutter and are working on finally getting out TV mounted on the wall.  We got the wall mount for christmas….
• I want to go shopping
• Because of yesterdays crazy – I was asleep before 9pm. And I slept until about 7:30 this morning – I so badly needed that rest!
• We have a really hard time scheduling time to hang out with our friends because of our crazy schedules and weekends – it kind of sucks.
• Yesterday I moved almost all of the 2T clothes out of Gianna’s drawers and packed it away.  How big my girl is getting. It’s almost unbelievable.
• Speaking of that big girl, I need to make her birthday invites!
• We still can’t decide where or even when to take a vacation this year.  Beach? Disney? Something completely different? May? October? So many things to think about!

Valentines Date with Dr. Wonderful

Our follow-up with Dr. Wonderful was on Tuesday – it made for a very romantic start to valentine’s day.

As I expected, we talked for a few minutes and he said that “you appear to have ovarian function. your uterus looks normal.  Mike’s sperm are normal in shape, number and movement”  And that was about the end of that.

the genetic screenings came back normal – expected, but always good to hear.

So now what.

We talked about just timing intercourse with a trigger shot – but I didn’t really like that plan.  So Clomid is the next likely coarse of action.

Dr. Wonderful is a FAST talker – but I think I caught everything he was saying.

Next cycle I will call them, they call in the Clomid Rx and schedule a monitoring appointment and post-coital test (dreading that part) with a trigger shot & progesterone after ovulation.  In the meantime I am supposed to take 81mg aspirin, foltex and my regular prenatal. 

After we talked about that, he figured we might as well “take a peek” at my ovaries to see how things were going this cycle. He said I had a 14mm follicle so, and I quote “since it’s valentine’s day and I am sure you will see your husband tonight, I want you to have sex tonight. Again on Thursday, Saturday and if you have the energy, Monday”

I have never been given a prescription for sex before. First time for everything, huh?

The best part of the appointment was the fact that he asked if I was okay with everything.  Quite honestly, I didn’t think we would be here, so “okay” is relative, and he talks REALLY fast, almost too fast to think of any questions.

I am a little freaked out about the whole thing just because it’s new and not something I really am excited to do. I have an idea of what to expect with the medicine.  Are there any questions I should be asking when (if?) I call Dr. Wonderful at the beginning of the cycle? I like to be prepared.

So I guess, here we go!