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Saturday, May 31, 2008

pressure

the weekend... should be fun and exciting and filled with things to do.

my weekend --- filled with 8hrs a day of studying - for the next 4 wknds in a row.

I know it's going to pay off in the end, honestly! But I am tired of this already. I haven't been able to do the laundry, clean the kitchen, do anything "real" b/c i am stuck with a book in front of me or at the computer answering question after question. It is hard for a lot of ppl to understand what and why I am doing - it's ok, I wouldn't really either if I wasn't the one doing it. But there is not taking a day off when the test I am taking in a few weeks pretty much has a huge determination in a) if my education will continue and b) how high the score is helps get me a better job in 2 yrs. And what is on this test - only everything anyone has said to me in the last 2 years of my life. Talk about pressure.....


Speaking of pressure.... I am feeling a lot of this today. In my 'uterine area' , I can't explain it any better than that. AF is still a no show (offically on CD 31 of 28) as of a little while ago. [i check frequently just to be sure] But - I got the one BFN and now suddenly I am scared to test again. I keep saying "maybe tomorrow". I know I am stressed about the whole test thing - but believe me when I say this - it is not the most stress I have ever been under and I have NEVER been more than 2d late. Honestly though, the thought that I could possibly, maybe be pregnant has only crossed my mine when the husband mentions it. I don't want to get excited... and be disappointed.... I just want to be excited for real. So --- we decided to give 'er one more day to show up, and then for real, I will try to find out for sure.

for now... it's back to the books

8 comments:

DC said...

Good luck with the studying! I remember that pressure and it is not fun.

I hope this is your lucky month and you get a BFP. Will you take a beta if AF doesn't show up?

Pepper said...

Ahh, studying! You're better than I was because I didn't love it At All, but I knew it was a necessary evil. The thing that kept me going when I had to study for weeks and weeks for a big test was the knowledge that I.Never.Wanted.To.Take.That.Test.Ever.Again.So.I'd.Better.Pass.It.the.First.Time, ThankYouVeryMuch. But try to squeeze some fun in here and there. It'll keep you going when you think you just can't take anymore.

Here's to hoping that the pressure you're feeling in your abdomen is a sign of good things to come!

Best of luck with everything!
NCLM

chicklet said...

This is the hardest time - having already peed but AF still not showing... wondering, waiting. Hang in there.

Tricia said...

Thanks for the comment.

Good Luck with your studying and I really hope you get a BFP!

seussgirl said...

Good luck with the test!
I'll be checking back to see how that goes, and if you check tomorrow. :)

Mel said...

You have the patience of Jobe!
I so would have tested by now!!
Good luck with the studying. ;)

Eggie said...

hmm...was hoping for an update, but I don't see one....hope part of that pressure lasts 9 months ;)

Kymberli said...

Iron will. I have will the consistency of jello- I sooo would have tested by now, but I can more than understand why you haven't yet. I hope that you'll be pleasantly surprised in a day or two!