Saturday, March 3, 2012

Please, Thank You and You’re Welcome

Danifred wrote a post recently about manners, essentially. 

And it got me thinking, because we get comments quite often about how Gianna regularly and appropriately uses manners.  I don’t actually understand the nature of such comments because I feel like it’s all just very normal behavior and expectations.

A few of the things we just do/have built in to our daily routine/ways we help Gianna to be polite and respectful:

1 - we use ma'am and sir when appropriate, we don't quite enforce it yet, but she has picked it up for sure.  I don’t think she needs to call me or mike or anyone that is constant in her life sir or ma’am, so this really doesn’t come up often for us.  I’m sure as she gets older it will make more sense to begin using it in the right context.  She actually gets mad if you say ma’am to her – she’ll say “I am GIANNA, not a MA’AM!”

2 - we use Miss/Mr First Name - but honestly, we are the ONLY Of our friends who do this.  We get weird looks sometimes but most people go with it.  It’s important for her to know that we are respectful of people and I feel this is a good way to demonstrate that.

3 - I always have Gianna introduce herself (usually she needs no prompting, she’s not exactly shy!)- she loves to say "Hi, My name is Gianna. Nice ta meetcha"!  and she shakes whoevers hand!

4 - we are working on interrupting right now, she needs to know that is disrespectful and to wait her turn.  and to say "excuse me" if it's REALLY important and she can't wait!  This has really come to light after she recently literally stood between Mike and I and said “HEY!” while we were talking about something!

5 – I’ll step in to discipline or redirect other kids, especially when other kids could get hurt/that kid could get hurt etc., if parents are no where to be seen and/or are oblivious to what's going on.

6 – She asks to be excused from the table. And clears her plates. (sometimes this actually works AGAINST me because she will throw ALL of her food away so she doesn’t have to eat dinner. ya. awesome)

7 – we always use please, thank you, you’re welcome.  Again, this sometimes works against me because if she doesn’t want to do something (i.e. eat dinner) she says “no tank you” very matter of factly.  And she still signs please, which just KILLS me. And has recently added “pretty please” to her list of things that make you go AWWWW.

What about you? What are your feelings on kids and manners and all that jazz?

I don’t get mad if she doesn’t follow through totally on things, but I know she is learning and  picking up on all of it because I have to remind her MUCH less (hardly ever, actually) about any of  - it’s all just very normal and that is EXACTLY what I wanted.  It SHOULD be normal to say please!


Leslie said...

I wrote a post & it would not let me publish. Hope this works! I think what you are doing is awesome. We are currently working on my little guy learning thank you & please. And we too use miss/mr before the first name. Our daycare does this and I think it is a great thing to do. I have learned a few other ideas from your post- thank you.

Sara said...

My husband actually implemented having the kids ask to be excused from dinner. They have to wait until we are all finished with our meals before leaving the table. Sometimes this is a challenge, but usually they do pretty well!

We also do please, thank you, and you're welcome. And we're also working on interrupting. It's so tough for preschool aged kids!

alison said...

Awesome work! B does please and thank you very well (tanks!, actually) with us, but I STRUGGLE with getting him to use appropriate manners, unprompted, outside of our house. This is the place where his extreme shyness is noticed most by me. He's so sweet and kind, but his shyness takes over and he clams up. About half the time I can convince him to tell whomever "tanks!" for whatever. But the thought of him introducing himself?! I can't even begin to wrap my mind around that, that's far more words than he would ever utter at this point.

I need to let this go, to some extent, and remind myself that it's just the way he's (perfectly) made, and stop trying to fix him all the time. I just worry that we're going to miss some social boat and he's going to be so uncomfortable with others forever. Sigh.

Rebecca @ Unexplained X2 said...

The Crazies have to ask to be excused from the table, but I have to check their plates first.

I love that my kids have manners.

I have to work on introducing though...that sounds so damn cute.

Mazzy said...

Manners are a dying breed... I see it in other kids everywhere we go and it makes me sad. We have been implementing them with L since she was old enough to talk and it is precious to hear. She politely asks to be "scused" from the table when she is finished and she is very quick with "tank you's" "pease" and "i'm sorry." We get complimented on her politeness everywhere we go and really? It is SAD that people compliment on such things because this should be STANDARD BEHAVIOR.


So glad you are doing the same with your precious.

Danifred said...

We have very, very similar expectations for our kiddos when it comes to manners!