I got married.
But I didn’t feel “grown up”. I just felt like me.
I had a baby.
But I didn’t feel “grown up”. I felt like a permanent babysitter for a long time, but eventually, I just felt like me.
I bought a house.
But I didn’t feel “grown up”. I felt accomplished.
I got my master’s degree.
But I didn’t feel “grown up”. I felt relieved.
I got a great job, that actually had something to do with my education.
But I didn’t' feel “grown up”. I felt like I had to prove myself.
I have had to struggle with secondary infertility.
But it doesn’t make me feel “grown up”. It makes me frustrated.
So when do you feel “grown up”? I often wonder what others think of me, or how they perceive me. Not because I particularly care, but because I am curious if they see me as an adult or just some girl pretending to be an adult.
I think this has to do with the fact that typically, I am the youngest in nearly any group I am involved in. I am the youngest of all of my friends (I am pretty sure). I am the youngest person in my department at work. I am the youngest mom at dance class (I think). It’s kind of always been that way – But nobody really knows that and most people are pretty surprised when they find out my age.
But I’m creeping on 30 – so it’s not like I’m fresh out of high school.
I am pretty positive that nobody thinks that I’m some young girl who dresses nice but knows nothing. I rarely feel disrespected or that people don’t take me seriously. so that’s good.
I just never “feel” like a grown-up. But maybe I’m glad I don’t recognize that feeling – it’s good to feel youthful amidst all the crap life can throw at me.
How do you feel? Do you feel grown-up or somewhere stuck in the middle, like I do?