Saturday, March 8, 2008

food for thought

so it's is pretty much the biggest blizzard ever this weekend, and it also happens to be on a weekend where i have no (ok not much) school work to do, at least no studying - ironic huh? so i have lots of time to think...... greeaatt!

i have read/heard three different comments lately that i felt like reflecting on:

"do you let what other people influence when you are going to start a family"

I think that we would all like to say "Hell No!" but the truth is, at least for us, we do/did let this effect us. We had no intentions of starting a family when we first got married - regardless of what anyone else said, so that was never an issue. But - "everyone" told us d/t my pending profession that it would be best to wait until X time to start a family - after school/residency/fellowship/when your loans are paid/when your 45 and postmenopausal.... you get the point, everyone has an opinion. Being a women in medicine, the one who carries the baby - makes it slightly tricky on when the "best" time is to have said baby(s - in our case). so we had to look at our relationship, we both got the urge to be parents, our social lives weren't satisfying us, something was just missing in our lives... so we did what we needed to do determine if we were financially ready - and went from there. We hear it from people all the time, and when/if we do get pg, we will continue to hear it (mainly me i am sure) from "everyone" about "are you sure" you can handle this etc etc. so, yes i do think we all look at what everyone will think of us as parents, a couple, in society etc. In our personal situation we are doing what we feel is best and hope that our families support us (and they do for the most part now that they understand what our lives will look like soon).
so - that's that thanks.

"i cannot stand ppl who have children, then leave them in daycare or home alone while they are working 14 hours a day. why did you even have children?" - written by former friend mentioned previously, not necessarily directed at me, but still....

I clearly have issues with this statement, being a career women and not able to stay at home, ever, with my children. how does that mean i should not have them? this is the most ridiculous thing i have ever heard! Yes - i will in fact be working 14 maybe 20 or 25 or even 40 hours at a time, kissing my children when they are asleep. (i hope those long hours are the exception v the rule based on my intended career, but no way to predict that) I am having children because My husband and I want a family - to watch them grow, spread our love, become fabulous people. My children will probably be as familiar with the hospital and my office as I am, they will grow up there as I will always be a working mom, a career women. My husband may eventually stay home - but that is not something that is likely. It is the 21st century - women are going places that they have never been career wise, that in no way means they should put off having families - if they have a supportive partner and trustworthy daycare/nannies it is completely do-able and feasable, and in fact will probably be my life in a few short years.

"if she worked harder at school, it would be easier for her - afterall, she did mess up once already" - a family member said this to my mom in reference to me

[..... ya, and if there were more hours in the day time wouldn't go by so fast....]

i don't take it to heart, people don't know what i do everyday - as in class for 5/6hrs (on a short day) only to come home and study for another 5/6hrs on top of my regular life things plus studying for 8ish hours saturdays and sundays. my schedule is not really something i share with people - it's boring, and more than that - it is just something i do w/o thinking.

i make time for other things - like dates with my husband, dinner at my mom's, time with friends etc - my life can not be consumed by school that is slightly unhealthy & my brain couldn't handle it!!

of course i take breaks during my hours of studying.. hence when i come onto myspace... but those breaks last for about 10-15min at a time every few hours... oh and i eat sometimes....and take phone calls.... or stand up b/c my butt is numb from sitting for 5 hours in a row....

so, that is enough food for though for one day!

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