Random Annoyances

• The fact that I have 232 blog posts started and not finished because they just don’t sound right.
• When grown ass women (or men, for that matter) refer to their significant other as “my baby”.  No, they are not, in fact a baby.
• Loud breathers
• People who stand ::this:: close to you when you are trying to check out at the grocery store. Keep your eggs on your own side of the register!
• Loud typers
• Laundry.  Pretty much in general.
• My hair.  It’s a mess these days and I can’t even deal with it!
• This freaking cold that is hanging on for dear life!
• Clomid induced migraines.
• The fact that our vacation is still MONTHS away
• The weeds in my yard
• That my to-do (or NEED TO DO) list never seems to get any shorter
• Going through the newborn and 0-3month clothes from when Gianna was a baby. To give away. And not to use for a new baby of our own.
• The addictiveness that is Reese’s Peanut Butter Eggs. Good thing I only have 3 left…..
• What’s annoying you lately?

Gianna’s Pink Spring 3rd Birthday Party

This past weekend we had the big 3rd birthday party for our THREE YEAR OLD!

It had to be pink, because that is her favorite.

She was totally stoked for party day!

(we’ve used the same “happy birthday” sign since her 1st bday party!)

And there was lots of pink everywhere – I didn’t get awesome pictures of the setup, but it looked cute. and pink!

(the “sweet treats”)

(tissue paper pom poms recycled from this baby shower for a little fun!)

(BALLOONS! and fun treat bags for G’s friends)

There were also lots of friends to play princesses with!

Uncle’s to climb on.

Cake to eat

And naturally, presents!

She had a pretty excellent day, if I do say so myself.

And we couldn’t love her more!

Friday Night Leftovers

• I’ve been helping my BFF look for houses – she lives in a different state and is moving back here with her JUST BORN TODAY BABY GIRL(!) and husband in July.  It’s an interesting position to be in – but I’m blessed she trusts me enough to take on such a responsibility for them.
• I LOVE looking at houses. And have a recent, rather large, obsession with house hunters right now. We aren’t moving or even thinking about moving for at least a year, but still, I obsess. And continuously increase my mental to-do list.
• Three year olds are pretty awesome creatures.  G and I have had some pretty excellent days lately (or rather, 2 hours in the evening before bed) and it just makes my heart so incredibly happy.
• Yesterday was an appointment with a new RE. He’s super freaking nice and down to earth and very much the opposite level of aggressiveness as my other RE.
• We have a plan, that fits our needs and our budget, for right now.  I know that if this processes isn’t successful though, we can move forward as we feel comfortable with his support. It just feels like a better fit for us.
• On that note, this is officially the 12th month of TTC #2. The 12th heartbreaking month.  I am confident this journey will end with another baby in our arms because this pain, it can’t last forever, right?
• I have some big blog posts semi constructed in my head. Some are a little heavy, some aren’t.  I just can’t seem to get them to make sense.
• Is it spring time yet? I’m ready for the weather here to make up its mind and stay nice!

Don’t Ignore #NIAW

When we decided we were ready to add to our family, we anticipated that history might repeat itself and the journey to adding to our family could be long-ish.  But we didn’t anticipate the loss. Or the heartache. Or the frustration.
When you decide you are ready to become a mother (again), you never imagine that the journey will be anything but quick and easy.  Until it is anything but quick and easy and you earn your ticket to Infertility Island.
And when that happens, it sucks. It feels like everyone in your world is pregnant and flaunting their fertility in your face.
And it hurts.
For a good while I didn’t let myself feel the hurt, the heartache or the actual LOSS of the miscarriages. I sort of forgot to feel anything, really. 
I was just numb, going through the motions, living in 2 week increments, just kind of existing in a sense.  Pushing all those emotions and feelings away because maybe then they just wouldn’t exist. 
Except that didn’t work so well.
I forgot it was okay to FEEL.
So, if you are in this place -  don’t ignore your feelings– because it’s okay to feel, to be happy/angry/frustrated/whatever you want or need to be, to adjust to the (shitty) experience that is infertility.
And when friends and family make comments to you about your “situation” or how “at least you know you can get pregnant” or even that “maybe you should spend your money on adoption, that would be easier” and the generous comment about how they want to “share their fertility with you” – don’t forget – they mean well, they just have no clue what to say (or how stabby it makes you).
Don’t ignore your own needs– this is YOUR journey, YOUR story, YOUR experience and you need to do what is right and what makes sense for YOU.  It will be worth it in the end – whatever that means.
But most importantly if you are fighting the Bitch that is Infertility, don’t forget you are not alone.

Wordless Wednesday

What happens when you get a bunch of 3 year olds a a few little sisters together for one picture……..

…….. is a whole ton of awesomeness!

120 something days from now

Did I happen to mention that we are going to Disney again this summer?

In 120 something days to be vaguely exact and OMG I seriously can not wait.  Oh, and we haven’t told Gianna about it.  Mostly because she has no concept of time and you know, would want to go RIGHT NOW.  But I am sort of contemplating doing an actual “surprise” for her.

With the big 3rd birthday behind us – my brain needs something else to occupy it and planning this vacation is it.

Last year was a freaking CRAZY ass trip  - busy, fun, tiring, not at all a vacation!  This year, we are staying a whole week with 5 days at the parks – it should be MUCH more relaxing.  Or, that’s the idea anyway.

The major planning is done - thanks to the awesome that IS Disney.  We are staying at the Caribbean Beach Resort (we couldn’t decide between a beach or a disney vacation this year, this hotel seemed like a logical middle ground!).

We are also going during a free dining plan promotion, which seriously, if you want to do Disney with you family is a HUGE (like $800 for the 3 of us HUGE) savings.  And I am SO EXCITED over our dining reservations.  We have everything all set up (Portobello, Sci-Fi Dine-In Theater [lunch], Chef Mickey’s [breakfast], Akershus Royal Banquet Hall [princess breakfast], 1900 park fare [cinderella dinner], via napoli [dinner]) and our 3 year old is going to LOSE HER MIND!

ANYWAY! I’m already thinking about little ways I can make this trip special for her – because while she does remember our trip last year, I feel like this time she will REALLY remember it.  Also, ways I can make our stay there not cost a zillion dollars because she WANTS EVERYTHING.

I am going with the “anticipate most needs” approach – I plan to bring fun glow sticks for at night, a picture/autograph book, I want to make a fun autograph pen for her and who knows what I will think of between now and then. Pinterest and my own inner need to be crafty and thrifty are fueling this fire – in a good way, this kind of stuff is fun for me.  What do you think I could “pre pack” that she would want when we get to the parks?

I’m sure she won’t be totally deprived of overpriced souvenirs, but you know, less is more?

Also – the one big splurge I am tossing around is the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique.  They do the girls hair/nails etc so they look like their favorite princess.  last year she wasn’t old enough, but this year she is.  Of course it’s totally ridiculous and overpriced, but I think she will LOSE HER MIND over it – which makes it worth it in my eyes.  Has anyone actually done this? I’d love to hear your experiences (good and bad).  If we do it, we plan to bring her princess dresses from home (I mean, we’ll probably bring a few of them anyway!).

The weekends between now and vacation are literally jam packed and I just really can’t wait to be back at the most magical place on earth with my family.

Friday Night Leftovers

• It’s days/nights like this that I feel so overwhelmingly blessed to have Gianna. To be her mom. To get to love her and see her smile and laugh with her.  It was just a really good day.
• It’s also days like this, days that I get to spend with my daughter, that fuel the fire to stay home with her.
• It might not ever happen, but I’ll never stop trying to make things work it out that I can be home more than I’m at work.
• Tomorrow is the big “pink” spring 3rd birthday party bash.  Everything is ready and I’m looking forward to a great day tomorrow.
• I’ve been feeling good and sick the past few days, and today? I’m losing my voice.  Excellent timing.
• After thinking about things more, I decided it would be good to see a new RE, to at least get a 2nd opinion on what’s going on and what treatment will be best for me.  It was a surprisingly hard decision, but I’m looking forward to it.
• I’ve been in a generally good place emotionally this month, and I hope that continues even after tomorrow.  We are pretty much the only ones of our friends (who has kids) who has only 1.  For some reason, that is hard on me sometimes – watching G with her friends and their siblings knowing that is something I haven’t been able to give her yet. 
• My BFF who lives in Florida is having a c-section next friday! I am excited for them, and a little bummed I won’t get to be there to meet their girl. BUT! They are moving back here soon, so it' won’t be long.
• I have had the WORST acne in my LIFE the past few weeks.  I don’t know if it’s from the clomid and/or HCG and/or progesterone from last month or just because – but I do know that it’s freaking obnoxious.
• Don’t forget to check out my Tooth Fairy 2 movie giveaway!!!
• and share your leftovers over @ Danifred’s
• happy weekend, my friends.

20 Questions–3 year old birthday style

I finally got around to asking Gianna her yearly birthday questions.

1. What’s your favorite color? PINK!

2. What’s your favorite toy? My pink lawn-mow-er

3. What’s your favorite food? Waffles

4. What’s your favorite TV show? Scooby

5. What’s your favorite thing to do with Daddy? Go to Chuck E Cheese

6. What’s your favorite outfit? My dresses

7. What’s your favorite game? “ I don’t know what I play wif you guys…I’m jus thinkin’”

8. What’s your favorite snack? “I love pretzels”

9. What’s your favorite animal? “I love cheetahs”

10. What’s your favorite book? “I love Kitty books” (I didn’t even know we HAD kitty books….)

11. Who’s your best friend? “Maggie”

12. What’s your favorite thing to do outside? “ I like to play chalk”

13. What’s your favorite drink? “I love apple juice”

14. What’s your favorite holiday? “I love Christmas”

15. What’s your favorite thing to sleep with? “I love to go night night with  my lovies”

16. What do you want to be when you grow up? “I just don’t know, mommy”

17. What’s your favorite movie? “Scooby!”

18. What’s your favorite thing to do with mommy? “ I like to play games wif you”

19. Where is your favorite place to go? “I like to go to Chuck E Cheese”

20. What’s your favorite song? “Hmmm, I gotta think”

I look forward to doing these with her every year!

Wordless Wednesday

What happens when you give a 3 year old stickers.

America’s ToothFairy®–{GIVEAWAY}

Seeing as how I have a great big THREE YEAR OLD living with me now, it occurred to me that she might need to visit the dreaded dentist soon.

And her pediatrician confirmed that fact at her visit this week.

I really really dislike the dentist myself, and in fact, also need to make a visit there myself.  So I figure her and I can just go together as soon as I can remember to actually schedule the appointment.  She loves to brush her teeth, and we recently started flossing (when I can remember) and she JUST decided that regular mint toothpaste is “spicy”.

The National Children’s Oral Health Foundation: America’s ToothFairy® (NCOHF) aims to eliminate pediatric oral disease and promote overall health and well-being to millions of children from vulnerable populations.

Even though we brush teeth and floss (when I can remember) – I am SURE there is a lot I need to learn about good oral health practices. And my teeth (or Mike’s) aren’t the best in the world – so we’d like to make sure Gianna retains her pretty little smile for a long time!

So I signed up for the America’s ToothFairy Kids Club and made a donation to the cause.

Members of the club receive a letter from the TOOTHFAIRY! As well as quarterly fun, educational activities.  While we won’t need the tooth fairy for a little while, it’s good ammo to keep for later.

In support (and celebration!) of the great work that NCOHF is doing – they are offering an really fun giveaway!

One winner will receive a DVD copy of the all-new Tooth Fairy 2 movie as well as a selection from Xlear, Inc.’s oral care product line (including SparX Candies).

Entry Requirements:

Sign up for the America’s ToothFairy Kids Club. And leave a comment telling me that you did.

Bonus Entry:

Tweet this giveaway (leave a comment with the link)

That is it!

Easy stuff to support a great cause, and to get a fun new movie!

*Giveaway is open until 11:59pm on April 24th. Open to US residents only. Please make sure I can contact you if you win! 

This giveaway is sponsored by NCOHF, all opinions expressed here are my own.

A letter to my daughter: THREE(!) years later

Gianna -

I really can not wrap my brain around the fact that you are three today.  Everyone told us before you were born to “enjoy them when they are little” because it goes by so fast.  And you know what, they were RIGHT!

They were so, so, so very right. 

I hardly remember this version of you:

Or this one:

Just a year ago you were talking up a storm, just learning how to be hilarious, and naturally, still as adorable as ever.

The year of 2 you earned the badge of “world traveler”. You are certainly a more versed plane traveler than I was at 3!

You went to Disney and met some of your favorite princesses.

And to ITALY!

We’ve had a busy year. A fun year. You have learned so much new stuff, put your dancing skills to work in dance class and have mastered the art of conversation.

There is so  much of this year that I definitely won’t forget.  We got to spend a lot of time together while I was not working and I would NOT trade that time for the world.  I learned more in those few months than I ever imagined – and have so many awesome memories that are forever etched into my memory.  Being your mommy is the greatest thing I have ever done, watching you grow, learn, smile, whine, roll your eyes and make silly faces – it’s what gets me through every single day.

 

While you aren’t a big sister yet, I know that when that time comes, you will rock the socks off of that role.  You care for your babies, and anything that is “itty bitty tiny” with such love that I know whenever we are able to bring home a baby to our house, you will be amazing.  And you will get lots of practice in your new role as Big Cousin in the fall.

My favorite parts of the day are when you kiss me goodbye in the morning and say “I need to hug you, mommy” followed up by “you’ll be back though” (because Mommy’s ALWAYS come back!) before I go to work.  And when I come home and you give me a big kiss and say “I missed you mommy! How was wewk?”.  Followed by our nightly story where you snuggle up right next to me before you fall asleep. 

Now you spend your days with your daddy – I love that you get to spend so much time with him.  You guys have great adventures!

A lot of people mistake you as older, probably because you will talk the ear off of anyone who will listen (or not) to you.  And because you are so tall!  But you are still hanging on to some “little” words – like “blanna” & “elphanent”.  I can’t bring myself to correct you, because really, it’s adorable.

You are totally AWESOME, Gianna! You are friendly (always introducing yourself to new people!), funny (seriously, you are hilarious!), smart, sneaky, strong willed and the most loving girl in the world.

I really don’t care how big you get, you will always be my buglet.  My little girl. The one who had me wrapped around her finger from the moment I felt those hiccups in my belly.  The girl who can light up a room with one smile, make friends with anyone she meets, and whose laugh can turn the worst days around. 

I’m excited to see what adventures three years old will bring – your first dance recital this spring, how surprise you will be when we go back to Disney in the summer, just how much you love school in the fall, how you take on the role of Oldest grandchild and just how much more you grow & learn this year.  You never cease to amaze me or make me smile.

I love you more than words can express, my THREE year old little girl!

Mommy