Saturday, May 14, 2011

The Stress Monster Ate My Sex Drive

wwwIt’s not much of a secret, things have been stressful around these parts the past few, well, for a while.

School is over and that stress is over.

Only to be taken over by a new kind of stress.

The kind that says now you need to DO something.

Add that to the other forms of regular, daily stress + parenting stress + health insurance stress + impending life decision stress and that leaves not a lot of brain power for other things.

Which sucks because I love my husband a lot. And I love to, you know, be with him.

Or at least I love the idea of it, and I love it when it actually happens.

I just never want it. When he initiates it and I can push the Stress Monster away, it’s good.

Unfortunately, that damn Stress Monster has a hearty appetite and has effectively eaten my sex drive. Like swallowed it whole never to be seen again.

So how do I get it back?
I miss it.

Stress Monster needs a diet pill or one of those appetite suppression drinks or slim fast or something else to occupy its time. Because to be quite honest, this is freaking ridiculous.

I have actually taken some time to check out the forums at EdenFantasys, I can’t be the only one ever to have lost their Sex Drive to the Stress Monster.
The appetite of this Stress Monster is overwhelming and the more frustrated I get about it, the more hungry the Stress Monster appears to be.
Like I said, freaking ridiculous.
Sex toys - EdenFantasys adult toys store


AwkwardMoments said...

Practice, Practice, Practice. Fake it til you make it. I know it sounds LAME. And no, You are not the only person that the stress monster ate their sex drive. I understand and will admit that I have been there Far too many times. If possible - Have your husband put G to bed, go shower, walk around the block, have a glass of wine, whatever it takes to help you start releasing and unwinding. Start mentally preparing yourself for a Fun, Romantic Night and see How it goes. It will get easier and MUCH better. I just had to learn to let go, unwind, and practice ..then practicing and faking became not necessary at all.

Do whatever it takes to find that spark back

VA Blondie said...

Absolutely practice, and fake it. Sometimes you just have to do it until it becomes more enjoyable.

Wine does help, along with dinner at a table with the hubby. We sometimes do date night at home, where we have dinner together after Little Guy has gone to sleep, and retire to the bedroom after dinner. I have found that it does not work for me if I cannot connect with Hubby.

Danifred said...

*raises hand*

I have no solution and when you find yours, tell me. Please.

PJ said...

Ha! Um, yep!

Soooooo... we miscarried and stuff and when I got pregnant with the twins I was afraid to have sex. So, we didn't. Seriously. Soooo seriously. I am sure the doctors would laugh at me if I told them that we were abstaining, but you know how desperate we were to make that work.

And now, I want to but I'm so exhausted by the time they go to sleep. So yea, you're not alone.

Thank you so much for doing this benefit for Jen. My heart sinks when I think of all she has been through. Life can be so unfair.

April said...

I'm 2 months postpartum, nursing and dealing with a tantrum-y 21 month old as well...all while stressing out about having NO money to do anyting but pay bills (and not all of them!) and end up not being able to do anything special. For example our anniversary next week and we are too broke to even go out for a cheap dinner! Ugh. So I can relate to the LACK of sex drive. Now that I can have sex again per the doc, I'm so not feeling it. But I'm gonna use everyone's advice and "fake it" till I make it. LOL Good luck!

Jules said...

Ditto to Danifred. I will say I noticed a "dip" after having the girls but lately it's in the "about to become extinct" category. Yeah, I know it's fun, but add everything up, once the girls go to bed, I either want to chill and do nothing or actually go to bed. I feel for the hubby. Poor guy.

alison said...

I have no advice, other than to clink my glass with yours in solidarity. :) I don't know that mine is stress so much as the ability to never be able to turn my freaking brain off. Nights are awful because I'm thinking about that day and the next day. Honestly, mornings have been better to, you know, be with my husband, for whatever reason. Maybe just try some "new" things (time, place, accessories ;) and see if the change helps? I have no idea really.