Sunday, February 21, 2010

Life is like a roll of toilet paper. or some shit like that.

We know, by now, that life tends to move faster the older we get.

Remember when watching a 30 minute television show seemed like an ETERNITY?

Or when summer vacation lasted so long you were actually excited to go back to school in the fall?

Or how about when taking an hour to do nothing was *just* enough time to regroup?

And now -

An hour goes by in less than 20 minutes

A month is over before it began

And each year sort of fast forwards into the next.

Why is it that as grown-ups we lose that slow pace to life we had as a child? I know what you are thinking – because we are GROWN UPS, Andrea, Duh!!  Grown-up’s have a lot of responsibility, a social life, children, bills, work, Google calendars that are bursting at the seams with PLANS!  And. If we don’t have all of these things to do – then others may judge us as unsuccessful. LOSERS if you will. 

This is ridiculous.

I can honestly not think of a time since my honeymoon where I had nothing to do. Where I could just sit. When I could truthfully answer that nothing was on my mind (even though I say it all the time now, I am lying, I just don’t like to talk). 

Now? I do not know a time where I am only single-tasking.  My mind is always going a million directions, and that is on a slow day.  So no wonder when I sit down to write or breathe or eat it feels like I have only been doing that activity for 10 minutes when really it has been an hour. Plans and due dates rule my life. Lists control it.

I miss out on things. I may be physically present. But mentally – 80% of the time I am somewhere totally different (even during sex, but you already knew that).  I need to teach myself how to just sit and enjoy a moment.  Sometimes I will just sit and watch G play with her toys (while fighting the urge to take more pictures) and I am envious of her innocence.

One of my goals is to try and be more present. to not let time pass before I have experienced it. to actually make the memories, not just capture them on camera. 



Mommy Cracked said...

I sooo feel you. And when my son was first born, it felt like I watched his whole first 2 years behind a camera! I finally learned to set it down and take in the moments. It was tough, though. Thanks for stopping in my blog today.

Cybil said...

Oh Andrea - I have noticed time goes faster and faster the older I get. Today I spent the day with my 8-year-old son, and it was so nice just to talk and spend time together. Sometimes it just feels like all we do is run around.

I left you a little something at my blog here.

The Red Headed Mama said...

I have that issue, I feel like I'm so busy trying to take the pictures, to play hostess or to make everything go smoothly for everyone else, that I don't end up enjoying it...or remembering it. Yet, if I don't take the pictures, I'm disappointed. It's hard to find that happy medium.

renee said...

i think it's tough for us all, b/c like you said if it's not in our own heads (i need to do this and this and that...), it's coming from other judgy ppl that we all know are out there. i think it's harder to be a woman now than probably ever and mostly it's b/c of OTHER WOMEN and thier expectations. we constantly feel we have to "keep up with the jones".
and i am forever being told to put down the camera and just "BE". i just feel like there is a small chance i might forget how cute and chubby their little hands are at this age, when i'm 50. lol

andrea said...

glad to know I am not the only one out there with this problem....

hopefully 2010 brings more "time" for all of us!

aunt jacqui said...

I feel the same way, but I still have time to sit and relax.... but I dont think I will ever grow out of that... so you should come to my house so I can teach you how I do it...

Anonymous said...

Trust me you will NOT forget without a picture to remind you. I still remember some thinks like it was yesterday NOT 25 years ago! If you think it rolls fast now.. just wait til your a Grandma! Slow down and enjoy. I know it's hard cause your like your mamma. The closer to the end you get the faster it rolls! Love ya

Shell said...

I totally agree with you! I hate that the days and the weeks and the months just FLY by! I can't believe that I'm not in my 20's anymore and that my Livi is FIVE! I really wish there were more hours in each day...