productivity at its finest

so, today should have been my first day of school.
i can't decide if i am sad, relieved, angry, happy or if i really don't care that i am not there today. and that i won't be there any day ever.

what today is - however - is productive. i have a lot i want to get done around the house and a few errands i want to run because the hubs is leaving for NY tomorrow for a big lax tourny. I will miss him. I also am not entirely sure what I am going to do with myself when he is gone. Each day I try to find things to do... and it is getting harder & harder. Not to say there aren't things to do, because there always are, but I want to be doing productive things, productive things that involve earning $$. I am not giving up on this search however, each day I apply for at least 2 new positions. Also I decided that since I seem to have so much tme on my hands, I should do something worthwhile with it, like volunteer somewhere. So I am on the hunt as well for a place to spend some QT about once every week or so, pref. a place that works with children.

I still can't seem to make a decision on what to do with my life, I think I decide one day, and then I look for other options the next. I made a deadline of Oct 1 - by then I will have to know what I am doing in order to prepare for it, whatever IT is. and by Dec. 1 I will want to have everything in order for that IT i decided on. I work best under guidelines (i think it goes along with the list thing).

oh, one other thing -- my dear old AF is still MIA. that lady never shows up on time these days. i am not motivated to POAS, not even a little, which is wierd considering i have a small stash of them in my bathroom. i'm sure she'll come around eventually - she always does.