Since this is my second go-around with an outside baby, I had a little better idea about the Post-Partum BLAH and how horrible (and humbling) it can be. I was looking back at old posts and I wrote about it after I had Gianna too!
For this go around, there are a few specific BLAHs that are really getting to me.
When I was pregnant with Aleesia, my hair was all over the place funky. I ended up with these insane alfalfa sprouts in the front and it just didn’t want to behave. Ever.
Now? Same sort of misbehaving hair, only, it sort of wants to be wavy; which would be fine if it actually would just BE wavy. But it’s in some kind of nonsensical in-between state. I still have these crazy alfalfa sprouts. And, it’s falling out. Right at about 4 months, right on target. I knew this part was coming at least, so I wasn’t TOO freaked out by it.
All I ever want to do is put it in a ponytail because that is the easiest. I also want to cut it, but I don’t know how yet. I always end up with the same thing, even if I want to try something different. Anyone have any good ideas for thin, fussy hair that won’t take me an hour to do in the morning? I’m just not GOOD at hair – so I need something as close to “wash and wear” as possible.
PostPartum Fussy Skin
Before I got pregnant and was using Clomid, and when I first got pregnant and was using progesterone, my skin was HORRID. I mean, it was teenage-horror-story Bad. I don’t have perfect skin, but it had never been like that. Now? It’s hovering somewhere in the middle. The lack of sleep and huge pile of stressors that seem to be taking over my life do not help either. I did buy a new face wash (anti-aging, because I feel like it’s not too soon to start) and some soothing eye gel stuff (it feels nice, no idea if it “works”). But it’s not just my face – my skin is CRAZY dry. I don’t know if it’s a post-partum thing or a getting older thing, but either way, I’m trying to get it in check.
PostPartum Body Image
This is the hardest one, I think. I knew it was coming. But still, I can’t help but to be frustrated about it. I spent a 9 months growing this baby, and unfortunately, I do not have rubber-band skin. So the weight is gone – but the fluffy mommy tummy, the jiggly thighs and all other mis-directed asset reallocations are sticking around. I am finally working out (probably to the detriment of my wimpy milk supply, but I NEED to work out) and it IS helping me to feel good about myself. But then I get dressed and feel like all anyone is going to look at is my out of control muffin top or my jiggly arms. I realize that is probably a bit insane, but I can’t help it.
I need to listen to people when they give me a compliment and/or just learn to accept the asset reallocation for what it is worth. (two adorable girls, if you are wondering) I will keep working out because I enjoy it. But it’s hard to have clothes in your closet that just don’t fit the way they used too.
The other thing? My boobs are bigger. I have never in my life had to worry about how a top fit (other than it being too big) and now I find myself with shirts that are too tight in the chest. It’s ok – just totally strange for this card carrying member of the IBTC.
Overall, I just feel BLAH overall and about how I look lately. I need to snap out of it! I am pretty positive that sleep deprivation plays a large role in this whole deal – so hopefully once that is under control the BLAH will be lifted a little bit. And working out regularly REALLY helps me to feel good about myself – so I need to keep that a priority.
So pretty much all I need to get rid of the BLAH is a hair make-over, a facial and a massage, a new wardrobe and 12 hours of uninterrupted sleep. With a pedicure on the side.
While it is never fun to feel BLAH, no matter what the reason, this too shall pass. It’s a part of life; this tired-fluffy-messyhaired stage won’t last forever. It’s nothing a few extra cups of coffee a handful of little girl giggles, a side of big huge baby gummy-smiles and a shot of perspective can’t fix, right?