A letter to my daughter: one year later

Dear Gianna -
To say you are the light of my life, would be an understatement.  When I wrote about the tiny dancer in my belly, I had no idea the beauty that you would bring.

When you finally arrived, and truly became the center of attention, I still had no way of knowing what that meant.

We made it, precious girl.  We made it through the sleepless nights, the reflux, the laundry.  We made it through the hard parts and ended up here.  Which is not so bad.  It is, in fact, perfect.

It’s been a year of exploring, learning, crying, laughing, smiling.



A year that was harder and more rewarding than any I have experienced to date.  One that you will only know through pictures, letters & stories but one that I will never ever forget.

Out of that year I have been rewarded with a happy, mischievous, lovingly adorable little bug.


One who walks all over and explores everything, a girl in constant motion.  Someone who falls down (a lot!), but always picks her self back up.  Has to have everything in organized disarray: if it should be in, you want it out. if it should be up, you want it down. if you should go around, you go through.  A smart cookie who can lose her binky in a mountain of toys but find it when she is ready for her nap.  Waves “hi” and “bye”.  Calls anything resembling a cat “ki ki”.  Knows her mom and dad. Gets really excited to see them.  Loves the water.  Understands a lot and can sign a few words.  Is a very picky eater. And drinker. But it’s ok because one of the calmest times of the day is when you sit and drink your bottle in the morning.  You love to snuggle when you are tired, when you grab your lovey and bury your face into my chest, we both take a deep breath and know it’s time for sleep.

 
You bring such joy and happiness to everyone you meet. It’s impossible not to smile when you are around.  This is a trait I hope you hang on to.  Smiles go a long way in life.


If the past year is a window into the future, I am blessed beyond words.  You are the reason I get up in the morning & smile throughout the day.  We try to enjoy every second, every tantrum, every smile, every giggle, every everything.  I can’t wait to experience all that lies ahead with you.

Happy 1st Birthday peanut.
Love you so very much,
Mom

Friday Night Leftovers

• Finally! I am a dinner guest :)
• I have been thoroughly annoyed at the lack of organization going on in my house.  I know we will be moving, sometime soon-ish so I never bothered to really let my organizational neuroses get the better of me because I have always known that this place was temporary.   Now it is getting the better of me and my not-so-great-memory.
• Speaking of organizational neuroses - I organize my daughters toys in her toy bins every single night. Plastic food in one bin.  Mail and various pieces parts to big toys in one bin.  Noise making toys in another.  I realize it is futile. But I do not care. It makes me feel better.
• Why has blogger been eating my published comments?  If you said something in last week, I promise you weren't rejected by me.  Blogger has other ideas, I guess.
• Speaking of blogger - don't forget to enter my book giveaway!  And don't forget to enter your extra entries!! 
• The big birthday party is TOMORROW!!! OH.EM.GEE. 
• Speaking of the big birthday party- I am looking forward to it.  We have adorable decorations, working on an adorable cake, yummy food, paired with a freaking cute birthday girl & great family/friends - I think it will be awesome.
• Speaking of birthdays - G shares a birthday with my now-ex-best-friend.  I thought this was going to be something very cool, and now, it just makes me sad/frustrated over the whole situation all over again. Blah.
• I am frustrated by things so easily at the moment, and that frustrates me. Such a terrible cycle to be in.

Wordless Wednesday: Easter Edition

she loved the bunny.

and the basket.

and seeing her baby friends at church.

she even loved cheesing it for the camera with her mom & dad.

 

but she REALLY loved that princess baby duck.

  

all on her second Easter, in her 51st week of life.

It’s either Her OR Me: Giveaway!!

Mothers In Law.

Not exactly the best friend to a lot of women.  Me included.

I try not to blog to much about my relationship with my in-laws out of respect for my husband.  It is a strained relationship, at best.   It wasn’t always that way,  there are a number of reasons that have accumulated over the years, not just one or two isolated events that have gotten us where we are now.
And then I had the opportunity to read this book by Ellie S. Fisher. This amazing, insightful book filled with “OH! That’s Me!” moments about the relationship between a daughter in law & her son’s mother.

As soon as I got the book, I turned to the contents to see what the book was all about.

And then immediately turned to the last chapter. The endgame: grandkids. 

There are so many parts of this book that resonated with me – this is the most pertinent at the moment.  My in-laws are CONVINCED I hate them.  I do not.  I do not agree with a lot of how they go about child-rearing (or grand-child rearing) or the strange way they interact with G.  And, if you have ever met me, you know that I am an emotions on the outside kind of person, which translates much harsher at times than I would ever intend for it too.  That is(one of)my issue.  I would NEVER, in a million years, prevent them from spending time with their granddaughter.  They just choose not to initiate that time, and then get upset that they don’t see her enough.  It’s a total catch-22.

I went through the rest of the book as well – it was an easy read packed with a lot of helpful information.

In Chapter 3, she talks about the relationship between all the women in a man’s life.  One topic she talked about was gift giving. 

Let me tell you a little story.  My mother-in-law is known for her quirky “crafty” gift ideas.  Sometimes, they are corny and fun.  Most of the time – they are corny and the butt of jokes between my husband & I.  Also? She tries to buy clothes.  And that never goes over well.  When i was pregnant she bought me the most, interesting, maternity clothes…..  And now? She buys G equally interesting clothes…..  She goes on & on about how adorable they are and they she shows me something denim & covered in appliquéd flowers. And I throw-up a little in my mouth while trying to figure out how to get rid of them.  I try to smile and I ALWAYS say thank  you.  But, it’s usually pretty clear when I don’t like something.  I suck at hiding my dislike of things.

Ellie talks about how to get a rocky relationship to a happy medium, and I plan on trying some of the tips she offers, especially when I need to word things in a more non-judgmental way.  I understand it is not good to say “stop following her around with a carpet square, she will be fine” or “dang, why does the house smell like dog pee every time we come over?!!”  and should probably say “if you give her some freedom she walks a lot better” when they chase after my very clumsy little bug or ask about a scented candle or something when the house is stinky.

One of my favorite parts of the book is at the end of each chapter she lists keepsakes on that topic.  Some of my favorites include:

His significant other earns first place or the game’s over – for everyone.
Love, love, love that birthday present
The guys significant other has some clout in making each mom – hers and his – feel a part of their life
A woman you view as a difficult mother-in-law may very well be viewed by your child as a loving grandmother.  And that is something for which to be truly grateful.

There are plenty more quirks about my mother in law and the relationship we have, but I want to hear about YOUR mother-in-law relationships.  Give me the nitty-gritty, good or bad. I want it all!  With the holiday this past weekend and G’s birthday coming up, you can be sure that I will have plenty of good stories.

And, if you leave me a comment with said mother-in-law dirt, you will be entered to WIN your very own copy of this fabulous book!


Extra Entries (be sure to leave a separate comment for each. it counts if you already do any of these things too!!):
Follow me on twitter

• Follow Ellie S. Fisher on twitter
• Become a fan of Ellie S. Fisher on Facebook
• Become a follower

Giveaway ends Wednesday April 14 11:49pm
Winner will be selected randomly & contacted via Email by Thursday April 15.

It’s Either Her or Me is available on Amazon.com & wherever books are sold.  Visit Ellie’s website, blog, twitter & facebook.

**It’s Either Her or Me was provided for me to review and giveaway by Random House Publishing Group.  All other content & opinions are my own.**

slumberland, where are you?

We have a great bedtime routine with Gianna.
She eats dinner, gets a bath on bath night, we read a book & off to slumberland she goes.
All before 7:30pm

It's painless and comforting.

Once she is in bed - it's a whirlwind of me trying to accomplish no less than 6hours worth of work before my brain shuts down starting at 10pm.

The whirlwind may contain: doing the dishes, making coffee/bottle for the next morning, picking up toys, doing laundry, reading articles, taking tests, writing papers, drinking wine, talking to my husband, watching tv.

Throw in paying bills, returning emails and phone calls, blogging, editing pictures and general dicking around on the internet.

That leaves little time to shower, breathe and wind down from the day.

I tend to want to head to slumberland much much before the days tasks are accomplished. 
This usually happens by about 9pm.  At which time I make such statements to my husband as "it is SO late. I can't believe I am still awake"  or "whooah, I have so much left to do but I am SO tired"  And by 11pm, when I am still trying to finish up the last few odds and ends on that days list, I am dreading getting up in the morning because it is SOOO late.

I try to make myself wrap it all up by 10pm so I can get to bed, talk to my husband and get to sleep before 11pm.

I have an earlier bedtime as an adult than I ever did as a teenager.  As a college student I would stay up bullshitting with my roomates studying for HOURS, get up for class in the morning and still feel somewhat human.  I wasn't even on the coffee back then, how did I ever make it?!!
If you asked me to stay up until 3am now, get up by 7am and act like I got 8 full hours of sleep I would tell you to screw yourself and pass the coffee, a blanket & a pillow.  Hell, being up until 11 and getting up for work in the morning sometimes makes feel like I am hungover simply from lack of sleep.  

How about you, well-rested, beautiful readers? Are you night owls or early birds? (for the record, I am a 10am-bird... I hate getting up early and I hate staying up late)