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Tuesday, January 6, 2009

you know that place....

where uncertainty meets reality? (or where your boobs meet your stomach....*) I am there!

I feel like there is so much in limbo in my life right now yet so many things moving forward full steam ahead that eventually all of these things are going to collide and become real!

  • 14wks until the baby is due (yay!) and lots of things left to do (i promise i won't list them all!) to prepare.....
  • our living situation is forever uncertain just based on the fact that any time someone could buy it. while i know things will get taken care of in this sense, it still makes a girl uneasy - especially since the solution to easy my fears was shot down.
  • waiting to find out if i got accepted into the masters program i really want.
  • hoping my job gets better and can keep me more entertained during the day.
  • husband starts school in a few weeks, our schedules will definatly be changing.
  • an overwhelming number of financial concerns - all that i am certain will be handled well but good lord they all have to come at one time huh?
  • really just wondering what kind of mom i will be when i feel like i know nothing about raising a child besides the basics! but i do have my dr. seuss voice ready so there is that....

I know i need to take a deep breathe and chill out but it is hard for me. I am a planner. I want to know things will work out just like I see them in my head and most of these things I have no control over at all. I need organization, order, excel spreadsheets.

The excitement over the baby is starting to build though and the idea that this little acrobat inside of me will be on the outside sooner than later, that is scary! ( i mean how will it get out here? i know my belly button can't expand that much right?!** ) I want to know if it is a boy or a girl - most of you seem to think girl! Husband thinks girl, I do some days. Some days I think alien***. We have another appt on Thursday - GTT test - I think everything will be fine as long as I can still have my oreos!

*ya, i discovered this surprise while changing the other day. my boobs have never touched anything other than fabric before - i was quite unsure how to handle this!

**I know the baby doesn't come out of my belly button, but I can't bring myself to think about where it ACTUALLY comes out of yet....

***I also know I am not carrying an alien, but the way this munchkin moves you would like there are about 6 arms and 8 legs sometimes!

5 comments:

Mel said...

I can relate to all of this, girlie! Just breathe. If there is one thing pregnancy and the like has taught me is that we are not in control and as much as it sucks, it's kind of relieving to just let go and accept it. Otherwise, you are going to be one nervous nelly!
*hugs*

alicia said...

there is tons of changes going on in your life right now, so I understand why you would be feeling overwhelemed! but I think they will all work out, just try not to think of them all at once, and instead deal with them one at a time! you will get through this, and you will be a awesome mom!

Amy said...

I definitely know what you mean. I am a huge planner. I've been forced to change in that respect. It's coming slowly but surely. I find I'm so much more at peace when I don't try to plan and control everything. Don't get me wrong I still love to plan. I'm just realizing I can't control everything. Don't worry about it all. It will all fall into place. Try not to worry about it because it doesn't help anyone especially you.

Anonymous said...

How is the prep for re-taking Step 1 going? Hope it's coming along well!

Kelly said...

You think your boobs are crazy big now? Just wait until your milk comes in.