Tuesday, August 31, 2010

The life I never imagined

I was on facebook the other day checking out some picture comments I got and one of them really struck me.  (and then I was vising JJ and this just seemed to fit today)

My friend Renee mentioned how happy I look as a mother when as kids growing up I never wanted to have children. (neither did she, now a fabulous mother of 3!) 

It really got me thinking about how my life is not at all what I imagined it would be at 25.

I figured I would be almost finishing a residency in pediatrics. But I am now almost finished with a Masters in Public Health, not a doctor, and happy about it.

I figured I would be married, maybe not to my husband, but married. I have been married to the same person for 3 years, been with him for 10 years, and all when “they” said it wouldn’t last.

I figured I would not have kids, maybe someday, maybe. But not before I was 30 and had traveled the world. I have this little girl in my life that makes my heart swell 292843x each day. Who brings more smiles to my face than I could have imagined. Who makes me feel fulfilled. And who I want to give 3 or 4 siblings.

I figured I would be working my ass off. All day. Everyday and then some. I now have a true, deep, growing desire and passion to be home with my daughter. To work at home in some capacity more than I am in an office.  and I am seriously searching for such a position.

I figured I would have moved out of this small area of Ohio to the beach somewhere.  I now have a little house for my little family and while moving to the beach is still in the back of my head, the comfort of here is growing and the idea of moving becomes more scary.

I figured I would be totally, 100% happy with my life because why wouldn’t I be? I am 85% totally happy with my life.  I couldn’t love my family anymore, I couldn’t love my friends anymore. I could really love my professional life a lot more – but you know what – that will fall into place.

Funny how things change and evolve and you don’t even know it is happening.  And how the changes that have evolved are better than the original plan.  Because this life, even with its bumps and stress, is really pretty great. and for that, I am thankful.


Anonymous said...

This is such a beauty, vulnerable and genuine entry... To realize these things is the greatest gift. What an amazing thing, to imagine the what ifs and be content just *to be*... So many people go through life not realizing what it is really about and you beautifully capture the essence of what life should be, which is such a rare and amazing thing. I am getting there in my life... Goodness, I love reading your words. :)

Lauren P

renee said...

well of course, I love this! I might do one of my own. My life is the exact opposite of what i always thought it would be. but i wouldn't change it at all now!

JJ said...

I absoulutely love this post--and you are SO right--perfect timing for the thoughtful tuesdays :)

I thought about this very thing recently--Ive always been a planner and I remember clearly thinking exactly what I thought Id be doing by the time I was 30. The reality is a bit different from what I thought--but I wouldnt change it.

Danifred said...

I love this post. Isn't it amazing that even though we are given many things we never thought we wanted, we are the happiest? Life is wonderful that way!

Mel said...

I am certain that the life we actually have is far better than the one we could ever dream up... something in reality is so much more satisfying and thrilling than the other.