Monday, June 1, 2009

Real Life

I feel like tomorrow is my first baby step back into my "real life".
I am working, at the office, tomorrow afternoon and Wed. morning.
It should be interesting, in many ways.

For pretty much my entire life I have said I could never be a stay at home mom. And for the most part, I feel the same exact way today. I adore my daughter, spending time with her is my favorite thing to do. But I crave interaction, purpose & fulfilment that her little self and doing the dishes can't give me. Absolutly I will miss her, but I will be that much more excited to spend time with her.

There is a deep down need inside of me to work. I have done it since I was 15 and never stopped to look back or think twice. I worked through college while taking 25 credit hours, I worked through medical school, I will work through graduate school and through the beginning of my child's life. I hope, one day, I am successful enough at what I do to be able to work part time, but to be perfectly honest - I don't see that happening in the near or distant future. I enjoy what I do, for the most part who I work with, and I especially enjoy the feeling of providing for my family and myself.

Don't get me wrong, staying at home with your kids is no less of a job, no less fulfilling, no less purposeful and certainly not less work. But for me, something is missing and I will be glad to be at work no matter how much I bitch about it.
And, considering the way the economy is currently, I am thankful to have any job, let alone one that I like, am good at and appreciated for. There is not a day that goes by that I take that for granted.

So, tomorrow is the first baby step, it will be fine.
I am actually pretty anxious to get a new schedule down (work/workout/baby/husband and soon school... it will all fit in somehow!)


Kara said...

good luck hun! I balanced work and being a mom for years. Yes it was hard..but you are right, it is fullfilling! Some days I miss working.. especially because I have a college degree...but situations make our choices much different. good luck hun! you are such a hard worker and you deserve to be successful!

Mommy Cracked said...

Good luck! I know what you much as I love being a mother, there is this longing to work that is always there. You have to do what works for you.

Ari&Matt08 said...

I have a feeling this is how I will be as well. The time when I wasn't subbing or working and it was just my job to take care of the drove me absolutely up the wall. I know a baby will give me lots more to do, but I don't know that that will be "enough" for me either. Plus with our career selections, we won't exactly be bringing in the big bucks. So mama will need to work. :)

Staci said...

Good luck! I'm sure it will go well for you!

I did much of the same, work, school, and a little one. It can definitely be done! Hope your first day back is great!

Tricia said...

Hope your first day back in the "real world" goes well!

alicia said...

wow good luck at work!!!

kbreints said...

Oh I was/am the same way-- I was always very excited to get back into the groove at work after having my children. I hope that it went well for you!

Mel said...

Good luck! I bet everything goes wonderfully... being at home full time is so hard. It really is.