Friday, May 7, 2010

When do you have time for THAT, and by THAT I mean S-E-X.

Apparently, once your child turns 1, the most common question to be asked is “so, when are you gonna spit out another one?”* 
Let me ask you this question people, When the hell are we supposed to have sex, or even have a second to think about having sex? 

See exhibit A, also known as incredibly rambunctious small child:
  5.1  (52)
I mean, I know that I may be busier than the average bear, but STILL!  I can barely fit dinner into my day, let alone sex.

Also – there is the issues that have surfaced over the actual act itself. 

You see, since the birth of exhibit A, the lady parts are not all they used to be.  I actually think that the doctors possibly swapped out my vagina and replaced it with the Sahara.  Totally ridiculous.   Totally a buzz kill.

We have tried everything to turn the Sahara into the Pacific without success.  Again, totally ridiculous.

Pair the Sahara with the Tired and we have a recipe for something that does NOT equal sex.  Then, when the Tired is paired with the Extreme Stress, just forget it people, there is no hope.  This is not the sexy threesome it appears to be.  Poor husband.  He makes the effort, I fall asleep.  He tries to get me liquored up in an effort to get to the sex help me forget about the Extreme Stress, I fall asleep on the couch at 9:30pm.  

This brings me back to my first question, again, HOW do parents of a one year old have time to even think about adding to the crazy?!!  We want to have more kids, one day, but as the days go on I wonder when that day will be?  Can I really love anyone more than I love this face:
5.1  (47)  
And, will my vagina, the Sahara & the Tired ever get their stories straight long enough for it to even be possible to make a college effort at procreation?!!

*I swear to you, I was asked that exact question


Jen said...

I'm in the same boat. And the boat ain't rockin. When DOES it end? My child is 13 months old and I'm still not feelin the love.

Anonymous said...

Try a DHA supplement to help turn the "Sahara" in the "Pacific". For us, time together and the "act" became the scheduled activity for Saturday and/or Sunday nap time. It just has to become a priority over all the other "necessary" things that parents try to accomplish during the brief times that infants/toddlers sleep.

Danifred said...

Yep. I swear that the only reason we have a second is because it had to be scheduled (well, that and a lot of intervention... but you get the point).

Rebecca said... can someone ask you a question that basically equates having a child with hocking a loogie? Gross!

I read on another blog to just say yes whenever he asks...not only will he get what he wants (and get off your ass...literally), apparently it makes your marriage better b/c you're still getting that intimacy.

The only thing is, Husband is too tired to even ask lately!

renee said...

for us, we went through a phase of having to schedule it. so every thursday night, we both knew it was coming. it sounds unromantic, but it actually kinda was. b/c then we were anticipating it all day (or week if your the man lol). and before we knew it, we didn't have to schedule anymore. for us, it goes in phases sometimes we are doing it at least once a day for a few months and then we go a month without it at all. obviously the more kids you have the harder it gets (and for you kids is G, work and school so you technically have 3 lol). afa the sahara, i have no only advice would be calling a pure romance consultant?