I had 2 really similar conversations this past week.
Both were about how having kids, in a nutshell, can make you seem like a really big loser.
The first time this came up was when we were visiting friends. We had to alter some plans and skip out on something that would have been really fun, because you DO NOT mess with bedtime. And, of course, because babies don't belong at a bar. [If they did, this would be a totally different post....] Our friends that we were visiting are expecting and they really got a taste of how the little people run the show!
The second conversation came amongst a group of colleagues, none of whom have children. The reason they don't have children - they enjoy their active social lives and don't want to give them up. Can't say I blame them there. Not even at all. Our social outings involve the zoo and babies r us and our conversations 90% of the time involve the baby/kids/things we SWORE we would never discuss in public - like baby poop and vomit.
It is RARE that I leave G just because I want to get out of the house for the evening. [in 5 months, I have done so 4x]. She's my child and I WANT to be with her as much as possible - and - my husband works most weekend nights so any exciting plans are few and far between.
So, what is my point?
Before I got pregnant and before G arrived - I was SURE I would regularly leave her to go out with the girls or for date nights because I had a rocking social life. And really, what was the big deal with getting a babysitter?
Now that the last 5 months have happened and I find her to be totally awesome - and she IS the big deal, I still would like to do those things, just on a more occasional basis. And that social life I once had seems very distant. As in, any engagements outside of the baby aisle at Target are major social outtings! MUST BUY NEW SHOES! ::sigh::
I would be lying if I said that I never missed my friends & the days that I could go out late and sleep in or just do whatever, whenever. It's hard for me to accept that I am in a different place than many of those around me some days. Truly, I wouldn't trade one minute of my life now, even if I am totally lame and no one invites me anywhere - because when I see those beautiful blue eyes, all is right in our world - no matter who else is in it.
3 comments:
Hehe... I love the title of your post, and although I don't have children *yet*, part of the reason we are waiting is for some more "us" time before we have to make HUGE sacrifices! It drives me crazy when people don't make children the center of their world! I'm sure you are doing awesome, and friends come and go, but family will always be there :-)
I know where you're at. I'm on the same couch staring into beautiful eyes every night too, not thinking much about what I could be missing. Some how the old times just became that. Old times that got old very quickly. I just don't need that kind of craziness in my life any more. And its not because I'm too tired from the baby or covered in God knows what. Did you know that a peanut butter sandwich will stick to your chest while you rinse off your toddlers hands? I found that out today. Hmm, might make for interesting blog fodder..... Thus is my life, and it sounds like yours. Celebrate it for the simplicity, humor, and the lack of hangovers. :-)
I rarely EVER get out. Especially now that Josh is in Iraq. Sometimes I sit and think what I would do with a night out. And when it happens.. I go do something..not usually exciting.. or I sit at home by myself.. and I think about my kids.. what they are doing and how they are doing. I wake up early the next morning and want to go see them and pick them up. I haven't been to a bar in months. and honestly? I am okay with that. Because when it comes down to it. I am a mother. That IS my life. and that is the most important thing I care about. I had Kohen when I was 20 years old. My social life went out the window quickly at a very young age. But I wouldn't trade it for the world.. because like you said.. when you have the opportunity to play and interact with your child and see those glowing eyes and bright smile.. you wouldn't want to be anywhere else!!! I am fully taking advantage of the time I have with my kids.. because with Carter I didn't have a lot of that.. so naturally I have a lot of regret. So you just sit there with your PRECIOUS little one and enjoy EVERY moment.. cuz it only happens once...
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