Willpower

Lately my life has been one giant test of willpower.

Let me show you why (in bullet point format, natch):

• it takes willpower to smile when your entire family is enjoying the pool and soaking up the sun while you are at work.
• it takes willpower to work 9+hrs a day and study 3+hrs a night.
• it takes willpower for me to do our laundry knowing that there could be spiders near me. (hell, it took willpower to even type that word….)
• it takes willpower to NOT stop at the ice cream stand that is 1/2 mile from my house. daily.
• it takes willpower to stay home every weekend night to work on school work.
• it takes willpower to NOT want what I don’t have
• it takes willpower to get up when I hear the baby crying at night and not stay in bed praying she stops on her own
• it takes willpower not to cry sometimes. over various things, good, bad and otherwise.
• it takes willpower to not buy new clothes, a new lens for my camera and new shoes – all things I defiantly do not “need”.
• it takes willpower to look over all the small things that frustrate me and enjoy the big things that make me happy.

It has just been one of those weeks where every day is an uphill climb and the mountain just gets steeper.