Sunday, June 27, 2010

big, green & hairy

I have had a visitor lately that I could seriously do without.

It’s a big, green, hairy, envious jealousy monster.  It has taken on a lot of forms and I really don’t know why.  Don’t get me wrong, I am overall very happy with things right now, but there are a few things that could be different/better/etc.

Job envy:  I have been unhappy with my current place of employment for some time.  It is just not where I want to be professionally and their goals and mine do not align at all.  I see/hear about positions I think I would love but am having trouble finding said positions near where I live!  Also? job hunting takes a lot of time and energy, neither of which I have currently.

House envy: Okay, maybe it’s more like decorating envy.  I am really happy with our new little house but there are so many things I want to do, paint, buy.  Again, these things take time and energy which we know is on short supply.  I am tired of our couch being made up of 2 pillows and a blanket on the ground!

Uterus envy: The obvious question to ask anyone with a one year old is obviously “when are you going to have another?”.  It is also the most obnoxious.  I have been surrounded by a lot of pregnant bellies lately, pregnant bellies that got there “on accident”, “on the first try” and otherwise without stress.  And it’s frustrating because while I would love to get on that bandwagon, it’s not time for us right now.  But it freaks me out too because it was not easy for us to get pregnant (although not as hard as it was for others). 

Wardrobe envy: Why is that when you specifically look for something, you can never find it?  I have been hunting for new summer clothes for months without fail since I am a cool 6 sizes smaller than last summer (yet 1 size bigger than before baby).  I have found a few pieces, but I have been really underwhelmed by what I see in stores.  However I am very overwhelmed by what I see on other people! Where do they get this stuff?

Not trying to sound ridiculous here, but some days I just need to feed the monster and satisfy it for a while.  I know it’s perfectly normal to like what others have, the grass is always greener blah blah blah. 



Rebecca said...

Ewwww...your monster is hairy? Gross!

Haha...we all have envy...don't get me started on the clothes thing. I got new clothes this year (Ann Taylor Loft...have you tried there?) and now I'm unhappy b/c they show off my legs! :)

Good for you for dropping so many sizes over this year...that's freaking awesome!

Mel said...

Ah. Human nature, its a bitch right?

I don't even want another baby right now because it is so ridiculously unpractical for us at the moment YET with every pregnancy accouncement (even just blog ones) I feel... all stingy instead. Like my insides are on fire and I HAVETAHAVEABABYRIGHTNOWDAMNIT.

Then I look around and realize that my world is filled with chaos and I imagine how insanely insane it would be to pile on more chaos and I know that it would be STUPID to even consider trying for another. The money! The mayhem! The GOD AWFUL PREGNANCY part!

But. Still. Its a feeling that is there. Sigh.

And? The house thing, I get. With every PB catalog that crosses my threshold, I find myself wanting to deplete our savings account to my house can look like Gary and Elaine's.

What? You don't know Gary and Elaine?

Danifred said...

I totally get this! Every time I go to someone else's house, I come home and gripe because I hate everything in our house. And, the wardrobe... girl, don't even get me started!

Mama Reg said...

you are like, the coolest blogger :) yeah i know that envy feeling...along with all the questions "when are you having your next" then if anyone knows your trying it is so annoying all the pestering each month when it doesnt happen...and then it does, and everyone pesters you like 35 wks on with "did you have your baby yet?!?!" lol

i understand the stuff envy too. we have had all the same furniture since we were married, and have got hand me downs when we have needed more...its hard sometimes but i know worth the savings! and now im like there is NO WAY i would ever buy new furniture in the next 20 years-uh hello two boys?! lol.

hang in there, you are doing it all right by me :)