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Monday, January 12, 2009

breathe deep

I need to take about a million deep breathes or I am going to lose it.
No really, I am.
It seems like all I have been doing lately is whining about this or that, but GAWD I need to catch a break. I would love, and I mean LOOVE for something to go absolutly right. Not even as planned, just right, without a problem or glitch or hangup. This has not been a good few months for my poor little head and my raging hormones.
I am incredibly happy about plenty of things, terrfied about twice that and unclear on a solution for almost all of the things that are freaking me the fuck out right now.

No - I haven't been studying. No I don't care. No I probably won't be able to retake step 1 before the baby is born. I am fine with it - really it's the last thing on my mind at the moment.
There is this avalanche of student loan debt that is about to fall straight on my head in about a month and it is making me very very nervous. scared. panic.
A little person that is soon to arrive and I feel unprepared (but you knew that) without a clear path on how to get prepared.
Mike broke his thumb this weekend - on his right hand - since of course he is right handed. Ouch.
My job is annoying me, because I don't get a paid maternity leave and they are making me feel like I have to be back ASAP. There has been talk about working from home, but at the moment that is all there is. and damn it I want to work from home since daycare is going to cost me my right damn arm.
The doctor told me last week that I need to eat less. and then today they told me that I "just passed" my GTT. and I should probably eat less. ok thanks, call the pregnant lady fat.
If one more thing gets added to my schedule between now and July I might need to clone myself. I am excited for all of these things, but man!

so, I need some deep breathes (a massage....) and some good luck. period. end of story.

2 comments:

Mel said...

We have good days and we have bad days, you'll get past this part for sure. Don't let your work pressure you, you are entitled to 12 weeks unpaid leave period, they cannot force you to come back sooner until you are ready.
Just breathe, it will all be ok-I promise. Life never stops and it ALWAYS works out.
*hugs*

alicia said...

ahh, did you get a massage?? you deserve one! I hope the work situation works itself out!