These Days….

There is so.much going on around here (always?!) and 101% of the time, I have no time to really even process all that is happening in our lives. I am going to give a quick rundown and I really, truly (honestly) hope to expand on most, if not all, of these things going forward.

* Gianna started FIRST GRADE last week. We ended up moving her from Catholic to public school after a really long debate. I think we made the choice that made the most sense. The first week went well for her, so that’s exciting for all of us!

* Aleesia is officially 2.5 and she is THE SPUNKIEST ball of energy I have ever met. I’m lucky she is mine, but also, wow – she makes me tired!

* Being a full-time work at home mom for the past 6 months has been so great. And so hard. And so many things. There are a few things I can say for certain though. This wouldn’t be possible without my village – our nanny, my sisters, my parents, cousins, so many people who help out when needed. Being at home has been so fun and the flexibility I have is wonderful. But it is HARD to be “on” all of the time.

* We are going to the beach in a few weeks! We are going to Hilton Head for the first time and really looking forward to it. If you’ve been there – tips, tricks, places not to miss are all greatly appreciated! We are planning on vising Savannah as well while we are there.

* Our new house! Oh my gosh, so much I can say about our new house. We have a pre-drywall meeting this week and we are looking forward to that. I have pictures of the whole process and will hopefully do a few posts related to our building process (which has been really great). Things are moving along and I am ALL OVER the Pinterest boards with updates and ideas for decorating a house that is significantly bigger than our previous home.

* Vivian is such a sweet baby! She finally started to sit up on her own and can go from laying/crawling to sitting. She’s been crawling for at least 2 months so she gets all over the place and flashes her amazing smile at us! She is a bit of a mommy’s girl and she doesn’t love to sleep without touching me. It has been hard to get her in a sleep routine, but we’ll get there. We started to give her some baby food a few weeks ago and she is just now really getting the hang of eating from a spoon.

* I ran a half marathon last weekend, it was a great race and I had a pretty huge PR. I’m looking forward to my next one in September. I also finished my 4th (or 5th?!?) MBA class last week. I’m looking forward to finding some good books to read on vacation – any ideas for me?

Overall, I’m not ready to give up summer yet but also ready for the routine the school year brings. We have fun plans that will get us through the end of September and then our fall plans (and moving!!) start up in October! I don’t feel like I am as organized and on top of life as usual right now which is frustrating but somehow we are all getting through our days!

13.1 #WeRunDC

It’s been a week (and a day) since I ran the furthest distance of my life. It’s taken me a while to really process the whole thing, to be honest. All those months of training culminated in less than 3 hours.

So we shall start from the beginning, I suppose.

The last few weeks, really since Aleesia spent that week in the hospital, of my training were just rough. Life was busy and complicated and it was really hard to get workouts in during the week and sometimes it was even hard to get long runs in on the weekends. But I did my best and that’s all that anyone can do, right?

We made the race weekend a family get away and I am SO GLAD!

The kids were fabulous road-trippers (as always, actually!) and we made it to DC Friday afternoon.

Our hotel was on the campus of George Washington University and race events were in Georgetown, which was about a 15 walk. I love visiting big cities so I loved just walking around and exploring even if I had no idea where I was going! Until it started pouring down rain and we were 15 minutes away from our hotel in a strange city. The Nike Georgetown store was awesome. The race pick-up packet location was well organized and it was easy to grab what I needed.

Saturday we spent exploring with the kids. We were up early, so early in fact the only place open for breakfast was McDonald’s! But the good news is that we were nearly the only people at the Whitehouse that early in the morning.

Strangers took this picture for us and totally cropped Aleesia out. #secondchildproblems

After the Whitehouse we checked out the race area and I felt much better about where I needed to go the next morning. And then we were on an official mission to find the ruby red slippers.

Gianna is happy to announce that her mission was accomplished!

She loved the American History museum, and so did Mike and I. The star spangled banner exhibit was pretty breathtaking. We stopped for a snack on the national mall and checked out the sculpture garden.

There was a great lunch at an awesome little sports bar and then we headed back to rest for a little bit. After that we went back to Georgetown (when it was not raining) to check out the Expotique.

We grabbed dinner (pasta, naturally!) and I tried to go to bed early. Which was a challenge since we were all in the same room and the kids were like PARTY! But when I woke up, it was RACE DAY!

I woke up on Sunday at 5:00 am, put on my race clothes and headed for the start area. I was NERVOUS! I cried a little on the way there but then I got it together. There was coffee, water, breakfast food, etc. available (I couldn’t eat it – NERVES!) which was nice. But I just kind of headed to my corral area and hung out, stretched, apparently drained the life out of my phone battery. There was a DJ. Tons of super nice people. It was comfortable and helped ease my nerves, actually.

The sun was shining. An awesome course was ahead of me.

They did a wave start, which with 15,000 people was still crowded but much better and more controlled than I expected. It was difficult to manage the crowds for the first few miles and while things thinned out a bit, it was always pretty crowded! One of the things that surprised me the most is how many people walked so soon and so frequently – I nearly plowed right into the back of more than one person who stopped in front of me.

The first 7 miles were good, I felt strong. There was great music along the route – the steel drums were my favorite! The orange slices were a welcome treat in the beginning and water was well placed throughout the race.

My phone died at about 5.5 miles, so that stunk. A lot once I ran face first into my own personal brick wall at mile 8. That long stretch of race down Ohio St was just that LONG. And slow. My legs felt okay but mentally I was really doubting myself. I found a girl with pink shoes ahead of me and just kept following her and telling myself do.not.walk. And I didn’t. I hit the 10 mile mark and cried.

I really wasn’t sure if I could do it anymore, but I hadn’t been able to see Mike and the girls the whole race and all I wanted to do was hug them. And the only way to do that was to keep running.

So I did.

I kept running even when I didn’t know how exactly I was still running until I got to the end. There were more steel drums (yay!) and I saw the finish line. I totally missed Mike and the most awesome cheerleading squad but they were there watching me at the end.

The first thing I thought of was – where’s the water? And second, where is my family!? In total, based on chip time, I ran 2:47 which was 17 minutes slower than I anticipated. But I’m okay with it. I did it. That’s all that matters.

They had the family area organized by last name so thankfully it was really easy to find them.

I didn’t get a picture with Mike, which I am sad about. He was the reason I could run this race. The only way I could have trained and stay motivated.

Once I found him I showed off my prize (probably the only time I’ll get one of those little blue boxes, and that’s okay), probably the coolest finishers medal ever!

They had a great finishers area – places to freshen up, stretch out, roll out, change, charge your phone, hydrate. It was really nice.

I wasn’t sure how I would feel at the end. I was tired. I was sore. I was accomplished. And thankful.

We went back to the hotel to rest a little, but we did spend the rest of the day exploring DC some more. We had lunch by the Lincoln Memorial, went to the Natural History Museum (loved!!) and I fell asleep by 8pm that night!

It was a really great time. The race was put together SO WELL, flawless actually. I still honestly can’t believe I ran that far at one time. Thanks to the Vaseline trick, NO BLISTERS although I do have a bruised toenail casualty.  DC was a GREAT family weekend getaway.

But the thing is, I have never felt that strong or determined about anything athletic because well, I’m not athletic. But I like running. It makes me feel good. I want to keep doing it. I don’t know when I will run another half but I know I will run another one. 

Thanks for cheering me along the way, I felt every ounce of support just when I needed it most.

One month out

It hit me today that the half marathon is exactly a month away.

It also hit me that my training has taken a bit of a hit the past few weeks, at least my ability to run during the week.

I successfully completed 8 and 9 miles with a  good friend.

9 miles was really hard for some reason.  I don’t know why, but it was a hard run for me and a hard recovery. I ended up with HUGE blister on my big toe after which was so annoying (and ouchy). But the internet is amazing and gave me lots of awesome suggestions for running socks (who knew!), body glide and good old Vaseline between my toes (works AWESOMELY!).

But I pushed through and did 10 miles last weekend.  It was much better than 9, actually. I ran a steady pace at about 11:45 min/mile, which is juuuuust fine.  I didn’t hurt too badly after, I pushed myself when I needed to and my recovery was much better than the week before.

I am still a bit amazed that I ran 10 miles, actually.

A little less scared to add the next 3.  I am hoping to do 11.5 this weekend and 13 next. EEP!

I am trying not to feel like a slacker that I can’t get in 5 runs a week like my training app says I should.  I have to just be comfortable with what I CAN do and how well I can do it, right? I do everything I can to get those long runs in. But my motivation is waning a little bit – so feel free to cheer me on over the next few weeks, I think I am going to need it!

It’s getting real up in here, friends!

8 mile

I can’t remember where I left off in regards to this crazy half marathon training, but I am at mile 8 right now.

I did 8 miles at an indoor track about a month(ish) ago and ran faster than I have ever ran before. 

My training took me back down to build up my endurance for a few weeks and then winter just never ended.

I had to eek out a slippery snowy three miles, instead of a planned five miles, the other day.

I ended up getting in a few longer runs, five, six, and seven miles over the past weeks in the midst of madness (sick kid, crazy work, just random life stuff). I have felt great after each run, for the most part.

I did seven miles after not running for 7 days and it was just slow – again, time isn’t my goal but I would be lying if I didn’t say that was a little disappointing after having made some good progress with speed work in the past few weeks.  But the sun came out during my run that day and that was wonderful!

I ran 8 miles with a friend this week – again, after not having been able to get any training runs in all week.  It was faster than the 7 miles the week before, but it was crazy.  We planned to run on a trail that was still covered in ice, obviously we didn’t know that(!), and ended up running through some neighborhood roads.  I did NOT want to do that long run this past weekend but having someone to push me through it was just what I needed to get back on track.

My random running related questions for the week:

1) I keep getting blisters on the bottom of my feet, what gives? Is that normal?

2) My phone died right as I hit 8 miles, any tricks on keeping my iphone 4’s battery in check during these longer runs?

3) Has anyone found where spring is hiding?

Mile 6 and snow

I expected challenges with this whole running outside in winter idea.  I expected cold and some snow.
But I didn't expect dangerously cold and ridiculous snow and ice - the past few winters haven't been bad in terms of temperature and accumulation.

It is only natural that the first time I decide to do anything outside in the winter voluntarily the weather would be horrendous.

I had to put off my 6 mile run by almost a week and I still haven't gotten in the 7 miles from this past weekend yet because of the weather and you know, a certain ONE YEAR OLD CELEBRATION!

I digress -

Six miles last week was actually very enjoyable and pretty. I had taken off work so that we could do some party prep, so I ran during A's nap (I love running in the morning the most).  I actually had on one too many layers and had to gladly ditch my ear warmers after just two miles - it was a nice day for a run.  There was some snow and slush along the way but I just slowed down a little and didn't fall!

I ran fast (for me) on purpose because I need to be pushing myself.  I already knew that I could run the distance so that was nice - I ended up beating my last 6 mile time by more than 40 seconds/mile and to me, that is awesome.  I am hoovering around an 11:30 min/mile right now.  If I can that closer to 11 min/mile by race day, I will be THRILLED and if not I really don't care.

The only issue I had was some jerk trying to literally run me off the road when I was almost home.  I was seriously SO ANGRY.  And now I am a little more motivated to find somewhere to do long distances that doesn't involve oncoming traffic.

We had another huge snow storm this week so I hope that doesn't screw up my plans for the weekend.   I have been doing my shorter runs at the gym and each time I dislike the treadmill more and more - I don't ever feel like I can find my stride and it is just torture getting in those 3 or 4 miles.  Necessary torture though, I guess.

Now that I am running longer though I need some advice.  I never have water while I run - I drink some before and chug a ton after - is this something I should get used to carrying with me as my distance increases?  What about all of those energy things I hear about (Gu or something?) - how necessary is that? So far I am still feeling good during and after my runs but I realize I have only run about 1/2 the distance so far.  If you have any tips, I'll gladly take them.  And your favorite running songs - I'll take those too as I revamp my playlist.

Miles 4 and 5

Mike is an awesomely supportive husband - he is (eventually) encouraging of my crazy goals and dreams.

As one of my Christmas gifts, he registered me for a 4 mile prediction run. Seems like kind of a strange gift, but I was really excited about it - it would be a great challenge and perfectly timed with the distance I was planning for that weekend.

On January 11th, it was 40 degrees and windy. Just days after a really big snow/ice storm and a little spell of cold weather known as the Polar Vortex.  The prediction race was 4 miles, I predicted that I could finish the race in 48 minutes.  The course was a muddy and wet loop (modified from the original course due to the ice issue), but it was also still decently flat and fast.  5 loops = 4ish miles.

I don't particularly enjoy being muddy.  But it was fine. My feet were cold and I bargained with myself every time I stepped into an ice cold puddle of mud or ran up a very muddy hill.  It was all fine, it felt good and I was surprised at the results.

before

after

And I ended up running in the course in 47 minutes, better than I planned for.  I was a lot muddier than I had planned for, but that was fine too.

I have to do my longer runs on the weekends, and I aim for the morning before the day gets crazy. This past weekend, 5 miles was on my schedule.  It was 10 degrees on Saturday morning and Gianna just wanted to snuggle up on the couch together. So we did for a little bit but I knew I had to get the distance in or else it would just haunt me the rest of the weekend.  I promised her more snuggles when I got back, which she was okay with!

It was colder than I planned for and it was a little more icy than I thought it was going to be, but I ran anyway.  I wasn't cold until about mile 2.5, when the wind kicked up (and apparently the "real feel" was something like -7 degrees at one point) but at that point I was half way done and I had to run back home! I bargained with myself every 1/2 mile - okay, only "x" more to go until you can take a hot shower! 

My biggest lesson learned was to for sure wear another layer when it's below 15 degrees.

I ran a little slower than I know I can to account for the ice (I am super clumsy, I still can't believe I didn't fall!) and still completed 5 miles more than 5 minutes faster than the last time I ran that same path in October - I was pretty happy with that outcome!  It's nice to see the difference and the improvement as well, I don't usually feel like I am doing a whole lot but the numbers don't lie, right?

Another way that Mike is super supportive - he always has a good breakfast waiting for me when I get back from a run, no matter how long or short it was.  Gianna is pretty sweet as well - she always wants to know how my running was - she sat across from me and ate her breakfast (of grilled cheese...) and then chatted with me the whole time I was in the shower.  She cracks me up and motivates me all at the same time!

Just the beginning

I have always enjoyed running.   I always had a goal of completing a half marathon some time in the future. We have a really great race locally in September each year and I just never seemed to be able to get myself together in time to prepare for it, ever.  Busy life, blah blah blah.

I had a goal to run a 5k after I had Gianna, and I did that. It wasn't pretty, but who cares.  And then, graduate school/work/life got in the way (and winter came) and I stopped.  Graduate school/work/life continued and I just never picked it back up until this past summer. 

I was still feeling frumpy after having Aleesia and I had a beach vacation on the horizon - I didn't want to feel horrible about how I looked.  I decided to do the couch to 5k program again and literally would do loops around our very very small "neighborhood" to complete each workout.  Sometimes I had to repeat a work out (or a week of workouts) but I finished the whole program. It wasn't always easy, but it was enjoyable for me. I wasn't fast AT ALL and that was fine with me (even if it's hard to not be intimidated by people who run much faster than I do!)- my goal was to simply finish each workout without walking when I was supposed to be running.  I ran the 5k distance on my own and was really proud of myself when I did that.

A good friend challenged me to run a 10k in October - so I signed up and worked hard to accomplish that goal.  The actual 10k was postponed due to the government shutdown but we ran 6.2 miles anyway and it felt good to accomplish that goal.  Again, not fast but I finished it without walking which is all I care about.

I continued to run anywhere from 2-4 miles regularly and felt pretty good.  But not challenged.  I decided to add in some cross training and work a little on speed as well for an additional challenge. I did run a turkey trot in 16 degree weather, and did not in fact freeze to death, thanks to some encouragement and guidance from a good friend.  That was a challenge of a different kind!

Then a twitter friend mentioned entering the random draw for the Nike Run Women 1/2 Marathon in DC.  So I entered.  I never thought I would be chosen, but knew if I was there was no turning back on that goal.

I was selected.  And I promptly freaked out because it is winter. And I don't like the cold. And I have to run outside.  And And And THIRTEEN MILES IS A LONG WAY!

Then I got excited, or just determined, maybe.  I AM going to run 13.1 miles. At one time. With 15,000 people.  And it's going to be just fine. 

This isn't going to be easy for a lot of reasons (life is nuts, as usual!) but I know it's going to be worth it.

Bring on the busy(er)

Now that the holidays are over and a whole new year is here I feel like I can start thinking about the year ahead a little bit.

There are a lot of big events and plans and goals set for 2014:

• train for and complete the Run Nike Women DC 1/2 marathon in April
• start my PhD program (this one has me a wee bit freaked out)
• decide on where we will send Gianna to Kindergarten (just when I think we have made a decision, I change my mind again!)
• get stricter with our debt-reduction plans
• hopefully list and sell our house
• which means we get to buy (or build???) a new house

But! the very first big event of 2014 is a certain little girl’s first birthday – say what?

A lot of these things are “bucket list” items for me which is exciting in it’s own right but I am all of a sudden feeling very overwhelmed.  I think the anticipation of starting new, big, time consuming projects is worse than actually being in the middle of the business.

so, bring it on 2014 – the good, the exciting, the scary, the fun – I’ll figure out the how and when it’s all going to happen along the way.

What does 2014 have in store for you?

More firsts

It seems appropriate that so many first have been going on here lately, given the entire post I wrote about first year firsts just the other day. (there is a giveaway there, go enter!)

I am not sure I could have used the word first any more in that sentence.

Moving on!

I think I forgot to mention that our first born got her ears pierced, after much begging, with her bestie the other day! I am glad I waited until this was her idea (she has been BEGGING for weeks!)because she reminds me that her ears need cleaned every day, which I know I would forget if I had to remember on my own.  And she has “kitty hello” earrings, such a cool chick!

I ran my first turkey trot (in super freezing cold weather!) on thanksgiving. It really wasn’t that bad at all, and I am pretty sure the cold motivated me to run faster than normal - I’m not fast at all, so I’ll take any extra seconds off my time I can get!

Aleesia enjoyed her first thanksgiving.

<—this is what happens when I try to take their picture!

Gianna wrote out table cards for everyone and decided where each person should sit, she is becoming such a young lady these days!

Our weekend continued with me taking Gianna to the movies for the first time. We saw Frozen which is ADORABLE!

Aleesia had been stuffy (again again again, she’s always stuffy!) and generally crabby so we took her to the doctor, first ear infection.

Followed up on Sunday with her first stomach virus. (honestly. I had no idea a 10 month old could vomit so much at one time.)

It was a super fun end to the holiday weekend up in here! (but overall, we did have a fun weekend)

I also got a little surprise in my inbox today:

Looks like I’ll be adding “first half marathon” to my list of 2014 firsts.  No backing out or slacking on training now!  I honestly did not think I would be selected (no one else I know who registered was selected) so I am a little shocked, nervous, mostly excited though.  It’s something I’ve wanted to accomplish for a long time and no time like the present, right?

Friday Randoms

• Why don't people comment on blog posts? I can see how many page views I get and how little comments I get... I know when I actually take the time to (finally) read I try to comment too.  Hmmmm...
• Speaking of reading - I switched to Feedly and I'm not 100% convinced I love it. Although, I haven't tried the mobile app yet.  Anyone have a new reader they love that you can read online and through a mobile device? Bonus it it lets you get to the content easily so you can leave comments!
• There was a HUGE storm here the other day. And I left my windows down in my car. Because, well, I am a genius obviously.  My car seats are still drying out....
• We are part of a crop share and I LOVE it.  We split it with my sister's family and it is seriously enough food for both of us (and we use everything between the two of us so I don't feel like we are wasting much, if anything). 
• I plan to make some baby food with some of our produce.  Which means I should actually you know, make the food and freeze it for when she's ready for it.
• Related to that - we have tried three times now to start Aleesia on solids because she watches us eat and seems to be interested in the process.  Except when you actually try to feed her - she cries, pushes the spoon away, spits the food out, etc. At first I thought maybe she just doesn't like the cereal, but she was having no part of the bananas we tried last night.  I'm TOTALLY okay with this (feeding a baby is a lot of work!) just surprised! We'll try again after her half birthday in a few weeks.
• How in the WORLD is she going to be 6 months old soon? Sheesh.
• I need to prepare a teaching demo for Tuesday. And I haven't started it yet... I have no idea why I am slacking on this.
• Also slacking on doing anymore research on the PhD program I found.  Have I asked if anyone has experience with Capella University? If you do - can you comment/email me so I can pick your brain?
• Work has been going well and that makes me happy.  Little stress, many opportunities coming up - just the way I like it!
• I have been working out pretty consistently.  I finished the 30 day shred (and saw real results) and am starting the couch 2 5k program (if it ever freaking quits raining here) with some interval workouts on the "off" days.  If I can aim to workout 4 days a week, I think that will fit into my schedule well and won't stress me out too much.  I have a lot more to say on this topic soon! (I hope?!)
• I have been talking to my sister about my niece's first birthday. Again - how in the WORLD can her first birthday be approaching? Nuts!
• What's new with you - anything fun happening?

Post-Partum: BLAH

Since this is my second go-around with an outside baby, I had a little better idea about the Post-Partum BLAH and how horrible (and humbling) it can be.  I was looking back at old posts and I wrote about it after I had Gianna too!

For this go around, there are a few specific BLAHs that are really getting to me.

 

PostPartum Hair

When I was pregnant with Aleesia, my hair was all over the place funky.  I ended up with these insane alfalfa sprouts in the front and it just didn’t want to behave. Ever.

Now? Same sort of misbehaving hair, only, it sort of wants to be wavy; which would be fine if it actually would just BE wavy.  But it’s in some kind of nonsensical in-between state.  I still have these crazy alfalfa sprouts.  And, it’s falling out.  Right at about 4 months, right on target.  I knew this part was coming at least, so I wasn’t TOO freaked out by it. 

All I ever want to do is put it in a ponytail because that is the easiest.  I also want to cut it, but I don’t know how yet.  I always end up with the same thing, even if I want to try something different.  Anyone have any good ideas for thin, fussy hair that won’t take me an hour to do in the morning?  I’m just not GOOD at hair – so I need something as close to “wash and wear” as possible.

PostPartum Fussy Skin

Before I got pregnant and was using Clomid, and when I first got pregnant and was using progesterone, my skin was HORRID. I mean, it was teenage-horror-story Bad.  I don’t have perfect skin, but it had never been like that.  Now? It’s hovering somewhere in the middle.  The lack of sleep and huge pile of stressors that seem to be taking over my life do not help either.  I did buy a new face wash (anti-aging, because I feel like it’s not too soon to start) and some soothing eye gel stuff (it feels nice, no idea if it “works”).  But it’s not just my face – my skin is CRAZY dry.  I don’t know if it’s a post-partum thing or a getting older thing, but either way, I’m trying to get it in check.

 

PostPartum Body Image

This is the hardest one, I think.  I knew it was coming.  But still, I can’t help but to be frustrated about it.  I spent a 9 months growing this baby, and unfortunately, I do not have rubber-band skin.  So the weight is gone – but the fluffy mommy tummy, the jiggly thighs and all other mis-directed asset reallocations are sticking around.  I am finally working out (probably to the detriment of my wimpy milk supply, but I NEED to work out) and it IS helping me to feel good about myself.  But then I get dressed and feel like all anyone is going to look at is my out of control muffin top or my jiggly arms.  I realize that is probably a bit insane, but I can’t help it. 

I need to listen to people when they give me a compliment and/or just learn to accept the asset reallocation for what it is worth. (two adorable girls, if you are wondering)  I will keep working out because I enjoy it.  But it’s hard to have clothes in your closet that just don’t fit the way they used too.

The other thing? My boobs are bigger.  I have never in my life had to worry about how a top fit (other than it being too big) and now I find myself with shirts that are too tight in the chest.  It’s ok – just totally strange for this card carrying member of the IBTC. 

Overall, I just feel BLAH overall and about how I look lately. I need to snap out of it! I am pretty positive that sleep deprivation plays a large role in this whole deal – so hopefully once that is under control the BLAH will be lifted a little bit.   And working out regularly REALLY helps me to feel good about myself – so I need to keep that a priority. 

So pretty much all I need to get rid of the BLAH is a hair make-over, a facial and a massage, a new wardrobe and 12 hours of uninterrupted sleep.  With a pedicure on the side.

While it is never fun to feel BLAH, no matter what the reason, this too shall pass.  It’s a part of life; this tired-fluffy-messyhaired stage won’t last forever.  It’s nothing a few extra cups of coffee a handful of little girl giggles, a side of big huge baby gummy-smiles and a shot of perspective can’t fix, right?  

I weeerk out

If you follow me on twitter (I know you do…..) then you have noticed a trend recently.

Every Monday, Wednesday and Saturday I work out. On the elliptical (that used to be more of a clothes holder). For at least 20 minutes.

Because I was tired of complaining (usually to Mike) about the flabby-ness that’s been going on up in here. And getting increasingly more flabby over the past few months.  Of rather, fluffy, as I usually refer to it as.  If I didn’t just START DOING IT – I was going to keep whining and the fluff wouldn’t be going anywhere.

So I did what anyone would do. I scheduled it. So at 8:30 (if I haven’t started it yet) I am reminded to get to working out. If it’s not on my calendar, it’s not going to happen and you can guarantee yourself that I already forgot about it.  So this seemed like a pretty logical step.

I’ve also been using myfitnesspal to track calories.  It’s good and bad.  Good because it keeps me accountable.  Bad because it keeps me accountable.

I’m not really trying to lose weight (inches, yes!) but to make myself feel good (and extra energy!) about how I look.

And, it’s something I can control right now.  there are plenty of things about my life that I have ZERO control over, but this, is all mine.  It’s all on me and I think I really needed something to take the edge off of the stress.

Tonight I am going to try zumba (they have it at the studio G dances at) with my mom and sisters. I have a feeling we will laugh a lot more than we will zumba, but I kind of hope that I like it! And that I don’t die.

so, I’m back to working out. or weeerkin’ out. or whatever.

Car Parts and Pastry

Lets start out on a positive note here:
I have surpassed my goal weight.  By 1.6lbs as of 8pm last night. I stood on the scale twice to make sure it wasn’t broken.
And yet, the muffin top prevails.
In excess.
Something I have realized – the more weight i loose, the more muffin-e my top gets.  Ironic or Idiotic? Both.  More idiotic than anything though.  Clearly stretching your belly skin to astronomical proportions does something to the elasticity.
I think the only way to remedy this situation is to workout. And do 234911 crunches a day. And pushups. And Jillian Michaels 30day Shred. Which I try to do. Rarely.  I use the same excuse as everyone else – I don’t have enough time. Which I don’t. Because writing papers, blogging and sleeping tend to take up too much of my time. 
I have talked about my struggle with time, managing it and making time for everyone/everything for months now.  I am reporting here that I still have not figured it all out.  
I had a thought last week that I will work out before I go to work.  Well, a few days last week I had to be at work EARLY (like I had to be there the same time I usually wake up!). No matter how quiet I was, the baby still woke up when I left.  Probably jumping around sweating to the oldies would have the same effect on the little bug’s sleep, which would be bad.  So, 5am workouts at home are not going to be an option.
Something working in my favor (for once!) is the time changing this weekend means more light when I get home from work. And the snow – it’s GONE and the temperature is starting to rise.   Which means I can run outside! I am very excited about this.  Crossing my fingers that this fits into the schedule a few days a week.
If there is one thing lighting a fire under my ass (which I hope, as an added bonus,  melts off some of the excess in that area) it’s the spare tire growing around my mid section.  I am pissed that I weigh less than before I got pregnant yet I am wearing pants 1-2 sizes bigger.  I am pissed that I feel like a lardass and don’t want to have sex with my husband, as muffin-e middles will do that to a girl.
The car parts and pastry that I am carrying around with me NEED to go.  What are your most tried & true work outs that help you get toned and looking sexy?  Who is going to help keep me accountable?

pieces

• I hate washing bottles, probably a tie between that and changing the diaper genie for worst baby related chores.
• Hate is a really strong word. I do not hate anyone in my life, even if I want to. What I do hate is that I am nice to everyone, whether they deserve it or not, and it gets me no where but frustrated a lot. But, I am not the kind of person that can be mean unless I am provoked, and even then, I usually get upset with a smile on my face. At least not out loud.
• I have an eye doctor appointment next week and I am really excited. I have never been able to see, but lately it is much much worse. My glasses are pointless.
• We went out to dinner tonight, it started out that we were going somewhere with alocoholic beverages and we ended up at IHOP.
• My semester started today, I am sad to be away from the baby and even though she doesn't notice or care that I am gone, it kills me. I know it is for the best, it just doesn't always feel like it.
• I think I feel worse about working and school today because G has been really sick this week. So sick we had our first trip to the ER. (all is fine.... it's just a virus.....::insert eye roll + angry face::) and I was at work. Not home with my sick baby. And that, made me sick.
• Mike was home with her, which made me feel about 1/10th better about the situation.
• Speaking of Mike, he has been looking for months for a job in video production/editing/broadcasting with out luck. Any ideas on what else he can do to get a job in his industry?
• I have been working out more and I feel great about it! Lets hope it keeps up with the busy semester ahead. Also, because I got a gift certificate to go tanning for christmas but I am holding out on using it until I look and feel better about myself.
• My project 365 is going well. I really like it, even if I only upload the pictures once a week or so.
• Oh and my laptop - it died. Well, the screen died. If I didn't have bad luck, I would have no luck at all.

Lets talk about sex (after you have a) BABY

We all (should) know where babies come from by this time in our lives.

Sex.
The horizontal tango.
Doing the nasty.

so we do it like clockwork to try and conceive such baby.
Baby is conceived (be it by sex or science).
That bowling ball of head is pushed out and rippage occurs (or not, lucky bitches)
The 6 week rest period is over. And, IUD is in place because no more babies yet please.

And you go at it again. Not so much like rabbits, or clockwork, or really anything at all resembling sexy because OH MY VAGINA does it hurt. I think that my other mommies friends left this part out of their life-after-baby recap.

Once we get past the pain and the uncomfortableness there are a few other issues that arise. Don't worry, I will discuss them with you - because all of you not-yet mommy readers should be warned. It's only fair. Really.

Moving on...
the issues.....

Issue #1: Having sex with another human in the house. I am no vouyer, but I did go to college... I am no stranger to having sex with others in some-what close proximity (sorry, mom). But this was different. Granted we never had the babe in our room because if we did, there would be no motion in the ocean. period. But she was across the hall. Like two steps between our doors - that were open - because if she wakes up we must console her. I felt like some people whose dogs watch them have sex... only no one was really watching. The anticipation of the cry all but killed any mood you can have after your 4th sleepless night in a row.

I would love to say that I have gotten over this awkwardness - but no. She is just old enough to have the door shut and me not worry.

Issue #2: Dealing with the fluffy tummy. It jiggles. And the lumpy thighs. All of the unattractiveness and gross that you (ok, I) felt (feel...) does not make for good love making. And. There is no nakedness in this house. (you cared, I know) Also - no lights. I may turn into ash if my pasty, lumpy ass sees the day of light. Moral here - believe your husband when he says you look great, it helps.

Issue #3: Wondering minds. I know you have all done it - thought about your grocery list, writing blogs about the inner workings of your sex life, your fluffy tummy etc. when going at it. When you are even busier and fluffier than you have ever been, the mind a wonders even more. Now, I am not always making lists in my head when I am alone with the hubs, but sometimes, I am. (sorry, honey) Got to make use of every second.....

Issue #4: The vag. The second degree tear. The scar tissue. All makes for an uncomfortable situation. Nine months ago (ok, nine months minus six or whatever weeks) I though I was going to lose my shit when we tried to get it done. Not so bad these days. We are back to our normal activities, I would say. Also, lets not leave out the great drought in the valley of fluff (also known as my between my legs). Fun. People DEFINITELY left this one out.

Issue #5: The tired. To go along with the wondering minds, awkwardness of having a little human so close, there is the sleep deprevation. I am not saying I am any more or less tired than other moms - but between working/schooling/mommying/wifeing - by 9pm I am d.o.n.e. which means the sexing is not so much on my priority list. I need a nap just thinking about having sex....

So, friends, consider yourself warned, and overly informed on the inner workings of my sex life. All is good and since I am busy-ish, I have been trying to figure out how to enter the sex into my sparkpeople fitness log.... I couldn't find it under "other activities".... I think it should count as cardio or SOMETHING

1...2....3.....

• work out 3 days a week
• take one picture every day
• say one positive thing each morning

I want to work out more - because I like it and I need to get rid of the jiggle. And, lets face it, I want to go shopping and be able to buy clothes I like and that feel good on me.

Pictures and photography are an itty bitty hobby of mine, so I think I can manage project 365. Follow it here because I won't be posting a picture every single day on the 'ol blog. I would never remember to do that. And, I am really excited to do this - wait until you see what my life is like - for real.

Because most days end up crappy between work and life and stress and blah - I figure if I start them out on a more positive note, it might make the ending a little softer. Trying the glass 3/4 full approach for 2010. I actually made this a daily goal on my sparkpeople.com page so I can track it.

Time for Who?

As you loyal readers know, finding time for everything has been my biggest struggle since becoming a mom.
It continues to be that way.
I have gotten better at compartmentalizing my life though - work is for work (or when baby is napping), play time is for Gianna, school is for school (or when baby is sleeping) house work is for after the baby goes to sleep, husband time is for bedtime.

Does anyone see a missing link to these compartments?
No? Look again....
Now you see it huh. There is no ME time.
My nightly routine is this: play with baby, feed baby, bathe baby, put baby to sleep, clean kitchen, make bottles, study &/or work, pass out.
I have to force a shower in there, usually around 10pm. Dinner, I eat if the hubs has made something, but typically, I just don't.

All of that stuff I can deal with, it's just the way things are right now. I might huff and puff about it - but really, I can handle missing dinner.
The one thing that I am CRAVING but can't seem to figure out how to fit it in, is working out, specifially running. This has always been my time to just turn on the tunes & let it all out. I would work out every single day when I was in medical school because it was the most amazing stress reliever (and, I had a pretty rocking body as an added bonus). Now, when I feel like I need this release the most - I can't seem to figure out where it belongs in my day. I would love to tone up this flab, get my frustrations out in a productive way and feel better about myself - but WHEN?
I have contemplated getting up at 5a to do this, but lets face it, I am NOT a morning person. Leaving the house once the peanut is in bed is another option, but all of my other responsibilities would get pushed about 2 hrs later in the night. (but I would surely get a shower those days...)
I am fully aware that those sound like excuses.
But if you can manage my time better for me, I would truly love to hear about it*.

Also - another part of ME time that is missing. The attention to personal detail. Or eyebrow maintenance and haircuts. And tanning (shut it, I don't need opinions on this one).

But alas friends, all of these things: Y membership, waxing, that sun kissed shimmer, all take $$. $$ that isn't falling from any trees around my house lately. In fact, I am pretty sure it is being buried somewhere because I can't seem to find it.... So - I need "economical"* ideas on how to accomplish these things.
Or you can tell me to shut my trap and quit bitching, because I'm a mom now and ME time doesn't exist.

*no seriously, I mean it.

Snipits

• I have about 6lbs to go until I hit my first "goal" weight. Thanks in part to some awesome girls and a Weight Loss Challenge we are doing. Accountability and Motivation all wrapped into one.
• I made some more baby food - sweet potatoes - for roughly $1.50 (2 potatoes), I made 46(!) servings - $.03/serving. I want to do a few more fruits - any suggestions on this??
• My least favorite part about going back to school - my Stats class. I really dislike statistics.
• Husband graduates from broadcasting school in 2 weeks! That brings about a whole lot of excitement. And apprehension. More on this later. (He is totally awesome at what he does though, best decision ever.)
• Because I am *this close* to my "goal" weight - WHY don't my prepregnancy clothes (pants) fit?? Also - how do I get rid of the flabby stomach... I know, crutches and such. Can you add a few more hours in the day so I can get on that? Or provide me a treadmill? That would be sufficient.
• The weather in Ohio has turned cold. FAST. And I hate it.
• We never really eat "dinner" we just find whatever we want in the kitchen and eat it. This will not fly much longer, as in, when little miss gets to table food. Any ideas on quick/easy recipes?
• In desperate need of a night out with the girls. Or a night in. Just some gossip, wine & laughter would be sufficient.
• I'm in a wedding next month, lets hope I make it to this "goal" & don't look like a jackass in my dress.
• I have some new followers - HI!! Nice to see you :)
• Also, check out over there -----> I am listed on momblogs.com. now. cool! (I realize, anyone can be listed, but still!)

5k: check!

Remember all my talk about running that 5k?

I did it on sunday.

I hadn't been able to "train" nearly to the level I had anticipated - life is RIDICULOUS but there was no way I was NOT going to do this.

So, I had to walk a small portion (did I mention I have an ear infection....that throughs off the equilibrium a bit) but I managed to run the entire last 2/3. Running in a race is really different and really motivating. I would like to do it again next month but my schedule may inhibit that, despite the number of races available.

So, in short, I am very glad I did it.
And I got a hooded sweatshirt for my efforts!

What Not to Wear

I got to go out with my husband last night. (woah, I know!) He was DJing on a Dinner/Dance Cruise and I got to tag along.
I am what you would call a people watcher.
And, people, there was a lot to watch.

I wanted to get out my own 360 degree mirror and hurd these people into it like cattle. It boggles my mind the way people go out in public.
We had the extremes - ripped jeans and a dirty tshirt and a women in literally, lingerie.
And everything in between.

It got me thinking about my own closet and the lack of clothing options I currently have.
Anyone who has seen me in the last 4 months has been subjected to my lame excuse for fashion. I promise, before I was with-child (and subsequently, without-child) I was fashionable. The clothes hanging neatly in my closet say so.
What I can actually wear? I can literally list it out for you

• 1 pr jean Capri's (that I bought after baby)
• 1 pr shorts (that I bought after baby)
• 2 prs pants for work (after baby, both too big)
• 1 pr khakis (that fit, but awkwardly big in places not in others)
• handful of skirts (most I had, 1 too big!)
• handful of dresses (most I had)
• shirts are hit and miss
• My shoes - thank the good lord those fit again!!!

My top half is reasonably dressed - although - my boobs never really went "back" to their prior size even though I never breast fed, so that may not be entirely true. My bras kinda fit like crap. I have 10/11 lbs to lose yet- I hope it all doesn't come from my chest.....

My bottom half is a hot mess. My hips and waist are incredibly strangely proportioned and I need like a half size in pants or something! One size is more comfortable but I look like I am the one wearing the diaper, the size below that is comfortable but eh still fits funky. Also, my underwear wardrobe needs overhauled. Just because it does.

I try to dress halfway decent and hide my "problem area" but you know, when you are trying (and actually, thankfully, succeeding) to lose weight it's a challenge because when do you buy new clothes? I am trying to be sensible with the funds here so buying new clothes every 2 weeks isn't exactly in the cards - but - I honestly feel worse when I don't look nice. It is preferable to my self-esteem to be dressed nicely in clothes that fit, I can't help that. Any tips, Internets, on making my clothes work for me?

In other news - I officially registered for my first 5k! September 13th I am doing it! This is one goal I am really ready to meet head on - I have about 4 weeks of "training" left and I think things will be fine. My only "goal" of the race itself is to finish without walking, so, however long it takes I really don't care! Slow and steady wins the race......