Trenches

Let’s get real here for a second: Life has been a whirlwind the past 8 months. So many things have happened in such a short period of time: new baby, new jobs, no jobs, more new jobs, school, growth, not much sleep, etc. etc. etc.

They say this season of life, the season with all the babies/toddlers/preschoolers/elementary school kids and any combination of the above, is “the trenches” and I’m here to say YES! YES IT IS!

I knew this, of course, but for some reason this particular season feels even more trench like. I would guess it has to do with all of the other life that’s happened along the way too.

It’s been crazy. Beautiful. Difficult. Crazier. Joyful. Sleepless. And usually all at the same time.

I’ve had to reallllllly tamper my expectations the past few weeks – because on top of the season of life that is keeping us hopping (seriously, I forgot how busy 7/8 month old crawling babies can be and I had no idea how busy 8 year olds can be!) the actual season is keeping us hopping! Work is busy, life is busy, the kids are busy, and everyone is crankier than normal which is making things a touch more difficult. I’ve had so many hard parenting moments/days that I question what in the world I am doing raising these 4 little humans.

After I posted a picture on Instagram yesterday, a bright moment in a particularly difficult day for no particular reason, a good friend mentioned that I was in the trenches and another good friend commented about how no matter what happened, it was enough. Both things resonated with me – because, they are both so right! Whatever gets accomplished in a day IS enough, and whatever doesn’t, it will be there tomorrow. I might not like that it didn’t get done, but that’s okay (right?!) and I also realized that I am most certainly not giving myself enough room to breathe.

What I mean is, I am doing essentially zero in the way of self-care. I need to practice what I preach to others in this area and figure out what will help me. I literally do not have enough hours in the day to do all the things I need or want to do, if I want to also sleep a little. One thing I do, but maybe not enough, is to pray/meditate and also to up my essential oil usage – because a little bit of frankincense or some orange on a diffuser bracelet honest to goodness DOES help me stay grounded and calm when I really need it.

Here’s what I want to know after all my rambling – how long were you “in the trenches” and what did you do to get yourself through it when it felt extra tough?

Related: Whoever “they” are that said having a 4th kiddo is no more difficult than having a 3rd – I challenge that thought because while he is fantastic and wonderful, it has been much harder than I thought adding this 4th one into the mix. Good thing he is so freaking adorable!

alright, and these three are pretty cute too!

A letter to my {first} daughter: 8 is great!

Gianna -

Another entire year has passed by, inexplicably. This year has been one of so much growth, maturity and general happiness.

We were able to spend a week at Disney World this summer and you were tall enough to ride all the rides which was really fun! What a fun age to visit the most magical place on earth – you were just as excited to see everything, meet all the characters and experience all that there was to experience but old enough to have a little bit of freedom to choose what rides to ride and understand that sometimes we have to wait in line.

You ended first grade with such a positive attitude, went to math and reading tutoring all summer, and here we are 3/4 of the way through second grade – and you’ve NEVER stopped working hard and trying your best. I am so proud of the effort that you put forward and the growth that we have seen academically, especially now, with a full understanding of what and a bit of why, you struggle. Now that we are working on a plan and working with an educated understanding of what is happening (some processing speed issues, a math comprehension disability and some innatention issues) I know you are going to SOAR! We’ve tried various interventions at school and at home – some successful, some not – but the school has been fantastic, accomodating, all things wonderful and helpful. I’m looking forward to getting a formal plan in place and really just watching you blossom as you learn.

You’ve been such a huge help around the house and a role model to your sisters. You do your regular chores (almost always) without a fuss, help with extra things when needed and sometimes when you are hoping to earn an extra privilage. I am reminded often that your heart is one that takes service to heart and understands how to give of yourself to others so kindly. I am also often reminded that those big emotions you’ve had all your life, are still present and growing. You are sensitive, to a fault sometimes, you carry around your feelings right on your sleeve and really feel for others when they are upset/happy/etc.

This year you spent a lot of the summer dancing and kept up with dance throughout the year. You wanted to badly to try out for the competition team but this isn’t going to be your year for that – which you so bravely and maturely accepted and understood some more work is necessary. You are also going to try softball this spring, which should be interesting. Justice has quickly become a favorite store, emojis, rainbows and unicorns are things you enjoy, it is the most adorable thing to watch you FaceTime with your best friend, texting with you is pretty adorable as well.

In just a few weeks you will be taking your first holy communion and I am so proud of you. You’ve been present and engaged in each PSR class and you are taking the whole sacrement seriously. I can see God working through you and I can see you growing spiritually each day.

The one thing that I can’t get over is how you can act so old some days when you are still so little. We can have a mature conversation at dinner and I tuck you in with all of your stuffed animals. It keeps me humble and grounded in the present – you ARE still little, but yet big. I still love to watch you play and use your imagination – it is a thing of beauty the way your imagination puts stories together. You’re the sweetest big sister (a little bossy, but you know, oldest child!) and so excited to welcome another sibling into the house. When we told you that this bundle would be arriving you had happy tears, which is the sweetest ever.

You are my little best friend, I love the moment you walk into my office after school each day so I can hear all about what happened while you were gone. Spending time with just you, to really hear what’s on your mind and in your heart lifts my spirits as much as it probably lifts yours. I am always in your corner, little lady.

I love you so much it hurts -

Mommy

Prep Work

It’s April, which means it is officially baby month! That just creeped right up on us, didn’t it? (no, it didn’t really – but a lot of days it feels like it!)

Baby number four – feels like we should probably have it all together at this point and totally know what we need to have, where the baby will sleep, how it will be transported, what’s it will be named, etc. But let me tell you, we certainly do not have it quiiiiite all together, but mostly.

Until we can decide who will be sharing a room, the baby will snooze with us in the Halo Bassinest that we bought – I am hoping it is as handy and wonderful as it appears right now! All of baby’s belongings will bunk up in Vivian’s room.

We have the car seats arranged (what a chore that was) in the car, so we are set there.

I bought diapers the other week and we are set on wipes, thank goodness!

We have a few outfits for now, the girls picked out new blankets and a wubanub for the baby and I feel like that’s as set as we are going to get.

I put some things in the diaper bag that I want to have at the hospital. I have a bag out for myself with a few things in it, but I know what I still need to get together when it’s time to go.

The biggest amount of prep work that’s been happening though is the cleaning, nesting if you will. I’ve been hyper sensitive to any mess, toys out of place, laundry not complete and all of the deep cleaning type of things that we don’t often think about (washing all of the cabinet faces in the kitchen, for example) have been my focus! I am sure I am driving everyone a little nuts because I just can’t NOT do this stuff.

However, I will tell you – I absolutely love sitting down at night to a house that is clean – nothing much out of place, smelling good and then I know that if/when someone needs to come over in the middle of the night I won’t be worrying they think we are slobs! It’s also gotten me to get a few other organization projects done and this weekend Mike got the outside spruced up a bit.

I’ve also fully enlisted the girls’ help with this task of keeping the house in order and as much as they complain, they are still great help to me. They have regular chores that they do daily/weekly that are always a help to me but they’ve been really good about helping out with some of these extra tasks – even Vivian! I know they feel proud knowing they helped and I am greatful they are much lower to the ground than I am!

There’s also been the prep work for a lot of life happenings coming up outside of the arrival of this little nugget! I got their Easter baskets prepped and ready a few weeks ago. Gianna’s birthday presents are wrapped and her birthday treat is ready for school. I always pack lunches for the week on Sunday, so that’s all set for this week plus a detailed schedule of what’s happening/where everyone needs to be is ready to go at a moment’s notice. I’ve gotten quite a few things ready and lined up for Gianna’s first communion and party which is early May. That’s just the big stuff – lots of other things going on here, as spring is busy, but we are as prepared as we can be for something that will happen 100% outside of our control!

In addition to preparing the house, the girls, our schedules I’ve been doing a lot of work preparing myself for birth. I’ve been working on some meditation, figuring out which essential oils keep me the calmest, getting in exercise when I can and visiting a wonderful chiropractor once a week to ensure my body is positioned and aligned to help this baby fall out. I pray that things go as wonderfully as they have the last 2 times and I feel confident that I am ready to do this again (99% of the time, there’s always that 1% question until show time).

1 more week, officially, until due date – who knows when this is all going to go down but I can tell you that I finally feel as prepared as I am going to get. And to answer the unasked questions - I feel great, no I’m not miserable at all (seriously, I’m not!), I am sure it’s not twins, yes I’m looking forward to finding out the gender and no, we don’t have names picked out!

Button Pusher

When Gianna was 3.5/4, she had all the opinions and expressed them sometimes very loudy, but she generally listened and took her punishment when necessary. She could certainly push our buttons but overall, her issues were her issues and typically she didn’t make things harder on herself by misbehaving that much more.

Aleesia at 3.5/now 4? She is what I have deemed the button pusher. When she misbehaves? It is 100% on purpose and typically compounded by additional misbehavior. When she’s tired, the button pushing becomes even more intense. She’s in the “I don’t ever need to nap” stage so if she has a bad nights sleep, doesn’t nap, we are pretty much setting ourselve up for a rough patch at some point in the afternoon/evening.

Case-in-point: tonight, she needed to put on her pajamas but she didn’t want to (which I already said was fine) so she laid on hallway floor and purposely tripped Gianna. So then she had to stay in her room for the rest of the night. Since she wouldn’t go to her room voluntarily, I had to bring her in there. Once she got in her room, she was super mad so she threw everything from her bed on the floor, screamed and kicked her feet repeatedly. When she was done with that she kept coming out of her room. We eventually got her all calmed down, tucked in (still in her regular clothes) and asleep but WHEW that girl!

Just when I think I know what will either a) hold off a meltdown and/or b) shorten a meltdown she proves me wrong and my normal tricks don’t work. We’ve been using essential oils to help (we have a trantrum tamer blend that works along with just bermgamont on the back of her neck) but sometimes I forget to grab them in the middle of dealing with her current issue. We’ve been diffusing orange and cedarwood too which sometimes helps.

In the middle of the chaos, it can be so difficult to remain calm, and I don’t always. I want her to feel comfortable expressing her feelings, but screaming, yelling, disrupting the entire house isn’t the appropriate way to do it – she understands that (afterwards) and it’s getting slightly better. But she’s also getting better at figuring out EXACTLY which of my buttons to push and when.

Spring Fever!

Here in Ohio we’ve had a pretty mild winter that has most certainly had us forgetting all about snow and looking forward to consistently warmer temperatures.

Which means, of course, that as we approach the start of official spring in 10 days that it is going to be freezing and snowy! There is no question that I live in the wrong area of the country with as much as I (have always) despise winter and being cold.

Regardless, we are STILL looking forward to spring because it is sure to bring a lot of fun for our family! And with the fun, comes a totally crazy schedule. And you know, a new baby!

Gianna and Aleesia (& their cousin Luci) are preparing for their dance recital in May – they have 2 dances each this year and it is sure to be stinking adorable. Aleesia just started a once a week sports class, which she LOVES. Gianna will be starting softball in a couple of weeks, which should be interesting. I hope she enjoys it! On top of the kids stuff, Mike is back to being a head lacrosse coach so we have to take his practice/game schedule into consideration also.

Gianna will be turning 8 in April (which I can’t believe at all) and she is preparing for her First Communion in May as well.  We also have Easter approaching, my niece will turn 1 soon and the girls have spring break and Mike and I will be celebrating our 10 year wedding anniversary (again, kind of unbelievable how fast that went by)!  Our weekends through June are pretty jam-packed with the exception of my recently instituted “no plans Sunday afternoons” so that we can get our house clean, laundry done, projects accomplished and try to fit in some snuggling and quality time before the total chaos of each week begins.

I feel like there are other things happening simultaneously as well, but I think they are mostly school related and some of what’s going on there requires a whole separate post. We wouldn’t know what to do with ourselves if there wasn’t 100 things happening at one time, right?! This new baby will fit right into our routine, at least that’s been one of my prayers lately – for a smooth adaptation and entry into our family.

Some things that have helped me to (attempt) remain calm amidst the chaos are to be diligent with keeping an organized schedule (in 3 different places!), meal planning, preparing all of Gianna’s lunches on Sunday nights so it’s one less thing to do during the week, keeping things picked up before I go to bed (it helps, even when I don’t want to do it) and honestly, giving the 2 older girls some responsibility to manage their own stuff/stay organized. As I tell them on the days when cooperation is lacking – most of what we do every day is FOR THEM, not me so when they don’t help out by listening and being ready when I need them to be, they suffer in the end.

It sometimes feels overwhelming, but then I remember that this is our season of life – the chaos, adventure, etc. won’t be here forever so I try to find the joy in it even when really I just want to pull my hair out and hide under the covers!

Talk to me about your spring – what is going on in your life? What are you looking forward to (or not!)? What helps you to stay organized and maintain a cooperative household?!

Pancakes & PJS Party

We celebrated Vivian adn Aleesia’s birthdays last month with a pancakes and pajama’s brunch party – it was such a fun party to plan and who doesn’t looooove pancakes and hanging out with friends in pjs?! It was an awesome party for a newly minted 2 and 4 year old.

We used some simple decorations in pink, blue, purple and gold that were left from one of the many parties we’ve had in the past as well as a few new ones from the dollar spot at Target – super simple.

I set up a little craft for the kiddos – just some cocloring sheets and fruit loop necklaces – they honestly just played in our playroom 90% of the time but a few fruit loop crafts were made.

We also had cereal as our thank you gift.

We served pancakes (obviously! and also thanks to my stepdad!), a vegetable egg bake, bacon, fruit and yogurt. We had cookies, cake and donuts for dessert!

Check out these awesome caks and cookies – so lucky to have such a talented local baker.

We took a break from the playing and sang to these pretty birthday girls

And the big(gest) sister was a total goofball the entire morning!

We are so lucky to have such awesome people in our lives, but there were 30 kids under 8 here (yes, really) and as much as I wanted to get a picture of all of them i knew better than to even attempt it!

The only part of hosting parties that is difficult is that I can’t also photograph the party – but suffice it to say this was a simple, effective, easy to pull together party that can be “themed” any other way you want.

A letter to my {third} daughter: YOU ARE TWO!

Vivian -

From the moment I found out you were growing inside me I knew we were going to have a special bond. You came into our lives as the third little girl we would get to raise and love two (short, but sometimes long-feeling) years ago.

Ironically, I woke up this morning at just about the time I knew my contractions were the real deal and I so vividly remembered that morning as I bounced on an excercise ball, drinking coffee by the light of the Christmas tree. The excitement I felt in my heart, butterflies in my stomach knowing I would be meeting you so soon, apprehension at what my (then) baby would be feeling as I sent her off with her Aunt knowing the next time I saw her she would be a big sister. It was a crazy day – so many long moments, so many really really hard moments and then you were here and in the blink of an eye I was rewarded when they placed you on my chest and I looked in your eyes for the first time.

You were a snuggler and a mommy’s girl right from the get go and not much has changed about that.

In the past year you have learned to run (and gallop, jump, spin in circles and race “ready set go!”), talk (so much! It is fantastic!), play pretend, and (sort of) sleep in your own room.

We’ve stopped worrying so much about your peanut-stature since you have finally made your way onto the growth charts.

You became a big cousin! What fun and adventures you are going to have with your cousins – and are already starting to have. You love to see “baby Lia” and get so excited when Luci comes over. The bigger you get, the more fun you have playing!

We went on a few out of town adventures – including Columbus, Disney World (you loved it!) and Toledo!

This year, and really the past month or so, I’ve noticed a big change in your relationship with your sisters. You’ve always looked up to them and wanted to do everything that they do but the more you play and talk, the more they include you in their games adn play time. One of the things that brings me the biggest smiles as a mom is watching you three develop your own relationships with each other – watching them evolve and grow with you.

And your favorite thing to do, other than watch Snow White, is probably take care of your baby dolls. You are so nurturing and loving “baby need a pillow?” “baby need a blanket?” – you usually have no less than 2 binkies and 1 baby in your hands or within your eyesight at all times!

This year you are going to put that love for baby dolls and babies to good use when you become a big sister! It is probably going to be a tough transition, with your dislike for sharing your mommy with anyone – including your big sisters a lot of the time –

but we are going to make it and everyone is going to be alright!

In a nutshell –this past year you’ve grown in your smart, sassy, smiley, stubborn ways into your own person – a person we are so lucky to get to love and watch continue to grow and change and we wouldn’t have you any other way (except with a few more hours of sleep under your belt each night – that would be lovely!)

Keep that twinkle in those big blue eyes and that sense of mischief behind that toothy smile, my little love, those are things that make you you!

Love you more than you could know -

xo

Mommy

#SharetheLuv–diapers are a necessity! #spon #ad

A lot of our friends are living the diaper-free life, but we are not quite in that boat yet. I spend a lot of time (& I always have) trying to figure out which diapers are a) the best fit and b) the best deal so I feel as though we’ve tried them all many times!

I’ve been given the opportunity to try Luvs again (thanks, iConnect!) – they have made so many improvements since I last tried them.

Luvs are now softer and more absorbent than ever before and they feature large, refastenable stretch tabs – this is one of my favorite parts because anyone who’s ever diapered a wiggling, squirming kiddo knows that you don’t always get it right the first time! More than that, ensuring that right fit remains through toddler running and baby crawling is important too – the contoured Luvs shape really keeps a great fit adn the softness is gentle on baby’s skin.

The ultra-leakage protection (with Nightlock Plust^TM) is a great quality – sometimes we get busy and don’t get to that diaper change soon enough or sometimes (for those lucky parents….) they sleep a loooong time at night, so that extra protection is key to a dry wakeup!

In the spirit of keeping life as affordable as possible, Luvs is offering a $2 off any diaper pack coupon*. Print this coupon at home and use it any mass, discount or grocery stores where Luvs Diapers are sold –they come in size newborn to 6 with fun designs.  (you might even find some other useful coupons on coupons.com, too!)

 

Don’t just take my word for it, though – Luvs has the Luvs Money Back Guarantee – if you aren’t satisfied with the leakage protection of Luvs, they’ll refund your money – visit www.luvsdiapers.com fo rmore inforamtion. I had no idea they did that!

 

Find out more about Luvs Diapers at their website (www.luvsdiapers.com) or the brand social media channels

• Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/luvsdiapers)
• Twitter (https://www.twitter.com/luvs)
• YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/luvsdiapers)

 

Check out Luvs (again, if you have in the past), use the coupon and report back to me if you find them to be a great fit for you little one – #SharetheLuv!

 

 

*excludes trial/travel sized diaper packs and coupon expires 30 days from the date printed.

This review was made possible by iConnect and Luvs. I was provided compensation to facilitate this post, but all opinions stated are 100% mine.