Practicing Grace

We were recently at a park with the girls and Mike and I noticed a set of parents pushing a double stroller and a single – I smiled at them thinking to myself what a full life they have right now. The mom stopped me on our way out to the car and asked what the age difference in our kids was, she thought they might all be 2 years apart, like hers, and she was so honest with me (a perfect stranger)– asking, when does this get easier?!  It turns out her kiddos were 3.5, 2 and 1 month old – and I told her, just as honestly, that it won’t feel easier for a while but then one day she’ll realize that it just IS easier than it was the day before. I encouraged her to keep doing everything she was already doing and when there was a moment of quiet in the chaos to hang on to it and remember it when that chaos ramped back up because she was doing a great job.

This season of life, it is so difficult to navigate some days (and by some, I mean a lot) and can feel so lonely. I am a little bummed that we were at an out of town park or I totally would have asked her to meet me for coffee or back at the park but I hope that quick conversation helped to keep her going the next time she was feeling the heat of taking care of three little ones.

That encounter has been on my mind for the last week or so, mostly because despite being surrounded by a truly wonderful, supportive village - there are a lot of times that I still feel very alone and isolated.  As hard as I try to make sure everyone (& that includes me) is respectful, following the rules, being kind and helpful there are just (so many) moments where that doesn’t happen & I find myself feeling so defeated and thinking “why can’t we all just get along.” Moments of the day where these three blue-eyed beauties are truly running right over me – and then doing it all over again.

I’ve found myself lately really beating myself up for the moments that don’t go well and that just isn’t fair at all - I need to remember the advise that I gave that mom at the park – to find a memory of peace and joy to hang on to as I pull everyone through a tantrum & then pat myself on the back (really quickly) for a job well done when the chaos subsides.

It can be hard though, we dwell on the things that don’t go as we hoped way too much instead of the things that went perfectly. In the middle of one of those especially chaotic moments between the hours of 4:30 & 8 I heard the lyrics “it won’t be like this for long” and just cried a little – because it won’t. It won’t be this type of toddler/preschool/early elementary school chaos for long – it will be replaced by something else, I am certain, but someday the chaos won’t be followed-up by dance parties and sweet toddler snuggles.

For now, I need to remember to practice grace (for me and in my parenting), to remember it’s okay to lean in on my village when I need it and that it really won’t be like this for long – these moment’s don’t last forever and whatever frustration is happening will be gone soon.

So, I’m reminding you too – give yourself grace, you are doing the best job & if today didn’t go the way you wanted, tomorrow is a new day. We’re in this together – raising up awesome little humans and also raising ourselves (& our spouses & friends) up as we continue to grow in life.

And if everyone could be as happy as Aleesia is when she gets her face painted like a cat, the world would be a much smilier place!

Perfect Moment Monday: Accidental Stay Home Day

I have been trying really hard lately to just SLOW DOWN whenever I can.  Life moves by way too fast all on its own and paired with our ultra-busy lifestyle, I feel like it just wooshes by before I even know it.

We ALWAYS have some place to be every single day. Work, Dance, Soccer, School, Church, needing to run errands or head to a gathering of one kind or another. 

And at the same time life is wooshing by, I am typically trying to capture the moment somehow so that I don't forget the little things. 

But I realized that I just need to BE a little bit more and capture some moments just in my head, and maybe not with my camera.

When Gianna doesn't have school and when I don't have work we call those Stay Home Days.  We talk about when the next stay home day is by how many sleeps there are until the next one. It's fun.  It doesn't me we literally STAY HOME, just that wherever we go, we get to go together.

Yesterday I was supposed to meet friends for coffee, head to church with the girls and run a few errands.  But coffee got cancelled and the girls seemed extra tired.

So I called it early that morning - it was an official (accidental) Stay Home Day.  I can't tell you the last time this happened - where I did not go ANYWHERE.  The week Aleesia was born, I think we actually stayed home for 2 days in a row.  It has been at least 7.5 months since we had 1 day where we didn't leave the house. (Mike did have to go to work yesterday, which was a little sad)

We fed Aleesia and played with her until it was time for her nap.  When she slept Gianna and I cleaned up the house, made some applesauce, painted, had a good lunch together and danced around the living room in our PJs!  We FaceTimed with my niece for her birthday (how is she 1?) too! Aleesia woke up from her nap, we played with a new-to-her toy together & she went back to sleep (she wasn't feeling too hot).  So G and I played some more, talked, hung out - spent some MUCH MUCH needed time together while her sissy was snoozing away.

At one point, I had just put Aleesia back down for her nap after she fell asleep in my arms and Gianna was sitting in her My Little Pony underwear on the living room floor painting a rainbow with the biggest smile on her face.  And I just sat there and smiled with her.  Capturing that moment not on my camera, but in my memory.  An Accidental Stay Home Day to catch up on home things had turned in to just what we needed to regroup before the start of another busy busy week.  It was a perfect Sunday.  Filled with perfect moments.

check out the other Perfect Moments here.

Picking your brain

I need some advice on a few things from my favorite internet comrades.

First topic: Blog

I mostly blog for myself, but sometimes I feel like I should blog about SOMETHING. With a little bit of myself thrown in there. Thoughts on that? Do you prefer reading about peoples everyday nonsense? Seeing pictures? Knowing that if you read blog ABC it will actually be about a THING in most cases? I can’t decide. 

I know what annoys me when reading blogs (too many pictures, too many MYBABYISSOCUTEANDSMARTERTHANYOUTOO posts, colored fonts, constant reviews of stuff I can’t win etc) and I know what I like (pictures that go with words sometimes, updates & actual thoughts)

But what about you? What is most annoying? What is most enjoyed?

Second topic: Shoes

We are going on a big vacation in October that will involve lots of walking. I need to get new shoes, that are NOT tennis shoes. I have narrowish feet with small bunions. Recommendations? I normally don’t wear socks, so shoes that look cute without socks and can be worn with jeans or skirts/dresses would be STELLAR!

Third topic: 3 row vehicles

One of the blessings that will come along with my new job is the ability to purchase a new (okay, new to us because we are so NOT buying new) car sooner than we expected. I would ideally like a vehicle with 3 rows – and am opening my narrow little mind to the idea of a van (I can’t believe I just typed that). I DESPISE car shopping, know NOTHING on the topic and need LOTS of hand holding and real life recommendations. So give it to me straight.  Also since I am planning WAY ahead with this purchase, if you have a vehicle with only 2 rows that fits more than 2 car seats COMFORTABLY I would love to hear about it. (greater than 25mpg would be a huge bonus!)

and since I am totally needy right now –

Fourth topic: Lunch

I need some good ideas for work lunches. If it doesn’t involve mayonnaise or a salad that is any thing other than lettuce or pasta based, I will probably like it! Also good ideas of breakfast on the go? My commute is about 40 minutes, and while I am not a “breakfast” person, it would be good to be able to eat something on my way.

I know I can count on you, friends – don’t let me down!

Summer Camp Ketchup & Stuff

I have totally been a slacker with my Summer Camp posts – but I am going to do a quick & dirty catch-up

Day 13: The best job I ever had was when I was in high school/college – I worked at a group home for DD adults and it was the most rewarding thing I have ever done! And I had awesome coworkers who I am still friends with, BONUS! I am sure I blogged/read blogs at my last job – I really disliked it.

Day 14: I normally dress in a dress during the summer – I am a dress whore. In the fall/spring – jeans and a cute top. Winter – I try not to go anywhere, I hate the cold!  I think bloggers are cooler than everyone else, so that naturally means they dress better!

Day 15: College was a whirlwind – I graduated with a bachelor’s degree in 20 months, worked part-time & still had a good time with my friends! I went out with my friends a lot, but I wasn’t really involved in much besides research. [SUPER NERD!]

Day 16: Not a whole lot of my “in real life” friends blog or tweet – isn’t everyone active on facebook?! The one thing that I can say – social media has impacted my friendships in that if they read, which most do, I sometimes feel I have to be careful what I write – or they read WAY into something they don’t know all the details about. That can get annoying sometimes, but in general, it’s not a real issue.

Day 17: I love the weekend!!!! Even though our weekends are usually PACKED I still love them. The weekends are actually when I catch up on blogs because my husband works most weekend nights.

Day 18: I could care less about astrology!

Day 19: He likes PDA more than I do, but we aren’t groping each other in public or anything! He knows I blog – I think the only time he has blogged for me is after we had G!

Day 20 – I really don’t know the kindest thing that has ever been done for me… is that sad? I am sure I would blog about it if I could remember!

Day 21: I am a huge name-phobe, that needs to be a whole separate post! I love my name actually. My blog name? I have been wanting to change it for a while – what do you think? Opinions? Thoughts? Suggestions welcome!!

And HIIIIIII to all the ICLWers!!

 

Don’t forget to stop by the Block Party & the Just Relax Online Auction

Wordless Wednesday

I spent the last week in Texas

It was a GREAT time

But now that I am home there is lots to be done for The Event on Saturday!

Including reminding you to head on over to the Online Auctions!

And!! Don’t forget about the Summer Block Party either – one of my readers needs to win those cookies! And the AboutOne membership! [Keep the summer-soundtrack ideas coming, I love them!]

Indecisive

I need to ask my most awesome bloggy friends for some help.

Hair help.

You see, my hair has been all over the map the past 3 years.

Have a look:

 spring 2007- LONG hair!

 summer 2007- short hair

 winter 2008-medium and curly

spring 2008 -short and straight (and dark)

 summer 2008- shorter & curly

 spring 2009- medium, dark

(I am the large sober blue balloon in this picture…)

 thanksgiving 2009 – more of the same boring hair

 October 2010 – longer boring hair

So you see, my hair has been all kinds of things but right now the only thing it is is in a ponytail pretty much every single day.

I can’t decide how I like it, so help me! Which way do you like better? What DIFFERENT way/color could I do my hair?

(also, looking back at old pictures is kind of fun)

((until you realize that you still wear the same clothes from 3 years ago))

(((but you looked better in them 3 years ago then you do now)))

((((also realized that I spent most of 2007 in some sort of alcoholic state. and with lots of friends. GOOD TIMES!))))

Somebody Likes ME!!

My new bloggy friend, Lora, passed something on to me.

Naturally, I accepted!

Rules of acceptance:

1 – thank and link back to who gave you the award – see above, she is awesome because she is holding down the house while her husband is overseas. Mad props to her and her strength.

2 – Share 7 things about yourself

3 – Pass it along to 7 blogs recently discovered and enjoyed

4 – Leave recipients a note telling them about the award.

 

So, I am not really great at following the rules… so I will give you the 7 things and I enjoy ALL of you SO MUCH that I can’t pick just 7! You all win!

7 random things about me:

1) I have to pee and brush my teeth in the morning before I do anything else.  Even if I am just going to drink a pot of coffee right after, I have to get that minty fresh breathe first (and then again after the coffee, of course!)

2) I can’t sew. Not at all. Not even a button.  I feel like that is un-womanly, but that’s what my mom is for, no?

3) The addiction to my phone is pretty ridiculous. I always have it in my hand and I don’t even realize it most of the time. Sometimes I have to put in our room so I pay attention to the other adult that lives here.

4) I took over 1000 pictures in October. In one month!

5) I have over 300 pictures waiting to be ordered from Shutterfly. Just waiting for a good sale/free shipping.

6) Cooking is NOT my thing. I CAN and DO cook, and the food tastes fine, I just don’t enjoy the act of getting it to the table. Again, un-womanly.

7) My goal in life is to be a stay at home mom to 4 kids (or more) and for someone to generously pay off my student loans for me. I really don’t think that the stay at home or large gift of money are going to  happen, but a girl can dream.

So go on with your awesome selves and accept this award. Make sure you tell me about it when you do!

so is it twenty ten, oh-ten or twothousandten

I do not really ever resolve to do anything in the New Year. I know better. And I choose not to fail....

This year, is different.
I am doing monthly goals and quarterly goals. (no, I did not think of this on my own, I stole it from her)

Maybe I will actually blog these monthly goals (but not today) so you can all kick my ass when I slack off. We will see.....

Enough about me, what about you? Do you resolve? Do you hold yourself accountable, and how?!! How did 2009 treat you and what do you expect out of 2010?

2009 was one of the most roller coaster years I have had to date:

I have gained the most amazing experience of my life.
Been disappointed by the actions (or lack of action) of some for the last time.
Gotten a small jump start in the professional world.
Continued my education.
Lost a friend because apparently you can't trust the people you trust
Gained a brother in law
Shared in motherhood with some incredible women
And learned a lot about what I can do.

This year was no better or worse than the one before, it was different and special in a thousand different ways. I am thankful for what I was able to experience, but more thankful for who I got to experience it with.

Bring it on twenty ten. Show me what twentyohnine left behind.*

*not originally intended as dr. seussish, but cute huh?!

mommy body

Let's discuss something, ladies.

Body size compared to weight.

I know I have talked about my efforts to get back in shape on here a few times, but I had a realization over the past week.
I have lost a significant amount of the weight I put on, 12lbs left to go out of the 50+ I packed on! Yay!
I can tell I am losing weight, but I still do not feel like my clothes are fitting the way I want them too. For a fact my ribs expanded and have yet to return to their prior size. Also, my hips expanded the minute that embryo implanted into my uterus, and they also clearly have no plans on returning to "normal" on their own accord.

There is no question that when you get pregnant your body changes, but when does it change BACK?!! or does it not?
I would like to have my "regular" body back, the "mommy body" can go.....
Let's be honest - I know people that way the exact same amount I do yet they wear a totally different size pants then me. Different in the direction I would like to go, that is. It has come to my attention that it totally does not matter how many pounds you are, but the distribution of those pounds.
Currently, mine are distributed on my thighs, hips & tummy - helloooo child birth is over, the hips may return to their previously scheduled sizing.

Since I was sick as hell for the past week+ I haven't been able to run or workout, so that sucks. But I still lost another pound last week - so there was some success.

unbirthday

for only another week it will be my unbirthday....

b/c in one week from today - i will be one more year older, wiser, all that jazz.

i usually am soo excited for my birthday - this year - not so much. could it be b/c i have to spend it, and all the days surrounding it knee-deep in books? maybe.probably.

but be proud all of you gift snoopers - b/c husband's birthday gift to me has been in our living room since yesterday and i haven't looked at it yet! (what do you think he got me?!!)

i will give a full update after my birthday - of course!

ebay adventures

the past 2 days i have been a bum - i mean really, i didn't think i could be this freaking lazy! granted i did do all of our laundry (almost... i'm working on it ok!) clean up the kitchen and living room and upstairs and i am also currently finishing up a paper for school - but other than that - i have been lazy.

so the lazyness has led me to explore the wonders of ebay. i have always had a fondness for the website, but never really explored it to it's full potential - the ridiculous things people sell on that website is amazing. but what is more amazing - people buy that shit!

examples:

• young man selling his girlfriends "crabs" - you figure it out
• a male chastity belt - yes really
• same young man as above selling his girlfriends "beaver" - no i am not kidding
• MILF boob art - swear on my life
• an empty bucket from KFC - with crumbs

i also discovered you can buy pregancy tests .... on ebay... new ones people, in the package. (eww i know what you were thinking) i knew you could buy them online but for some reason it never occured to me that anyone would auction off a pregnancy test or an OPK. to the highest bidder you can now check your hcg level.... But economically it's a good idea - b/c damn are those things expensive!

oh ya, and i have a sore throat that won't quit- i wonder if i can get a cough drop off of ebay too. ::runs quickly to check:: [kidding!!]


btw one last thing - i accept all comments, just putting that out there, i know you are reading this..... ;)