Harmony

We are always talking about finding balance in life.

But I have to tell you a little secret – balance? it doesn’t really exist. Because life is constantly shifting and changing and throwing off that balance that we so desperately seek on a constant basis.

To find true balance would be like running your whole life on a teeter totter or something. When I heard someone speak on this, it made so.much.freaking.sense to me.

so, stop trying to find balance. unless you like living on a teeter totter.

Start striving for harmony.

A place where we can accept the and easily mold our experiences to those constant changes and challenges that happen in this little thing called life.  Of course it’s not always easy, but knowing that things are going to change and that living in a place where you can feel ok with a bad day (or week) because it just IS that way makes the next good day (or week) that much sweeter.

As a woman who works full time, works part time, is a wife and a mother, is a daughter, sister, aunt and friend – I struggle every day to remain in a place where I feel like I am giving my best self to all of the people and commitments in my life. Where I personally feel harmonious. It’s a conscious effort, really.

So some days in my life, harmony means not worrying about the laundry for (another) night. Some days it means getting to work early so I can finish a project. Some days it means keeping all forms of technology put away so I can enjoy my family. Other days it means tackling my to-do list so that the next night I can focus on something more fun. And even others, it’s taking an extra 5 minutes to myself in the shower to relax.

Harmony to me is when I feel like I did a good job at giving everyone I encountered that day the attention they deserved.  If this happens more days out of the week than not, it’s a win.

Because there are days like today, where nothing goes right, nobody gets the attention they deserve, I end up crying at work because all I want to do is be at home and not have to worry about making up hours or using vacation time to take my kid to school and am a grumpy mess when I finally do make it home.  These are not the days I am proud of, but they happen.

The good part about bad days is that they end. And tomorrow, I get to pretend to be just another preschool mom for a few hours at Gianna’s harvest festival before going to work for the rest of the day. 

Things around here are more stressful lately, there is a lot going on, schedules are as crazy as always with no slow down in sight, life is happening all around us and a lot of days I feel like I am teetering on the edge of not being able (or wanting) to handle one more thing in my life.  I feel isolated a lot of days, like I don’t have anyone who could possibly understand my frustrations, fears, needs, wants, etc. Which is silly, really, but it is what it is and I let myself get in the way of my own harmony the majority of the time. 

Harmony is a funny thing because it is based on perception, it is the pleasing combination of elements, and beauty tends to overshadow the blemishes. Remembering that little bit of information isn’t always easy – but all I can do is try to live in harmony as a general rule, accepting the bad days as they come and cherishing the good days as they are happening.

Social Media Etiquette-ish

Is probably  not even something that really exists, but humor me because I am a fanatic about doing things “the right” way. Like, if you send me an invitation to a party the week before the party, I’m probably not going because – ADVANCE NOTICE?  If you invite me to a big event (you know like a bridal shower or something) via facebook – I am for sure not going because – well, just because that feels tacky to me.  I send thank you notes out pretty religiously (except I forgot after G’s birthday, still feeling a little guilty on that one) and well, you get the point. I like etiquette, and order, it makes me feel better.

And, back to the topic at hand.

Is there such a thing as social media etiquette? Because it’s very likely that I am just making up all of this nonsense in my head in an attempt not to feel like a huge attention whore.

For example – I have a really cute Disney post that I want to pin because I think it is that good. But should I? Should you pin you own brilliance? I have done it before but it just felt odd!

Another example – do you tweet/FB promote your posts outside of a networking site (i.e. networkedblogs)? I always feel like I shouldn’t be doing this unless it’s a giveaway or something like that.  Mostly because I don’t want people to be annoyed. Again, I have done it, but mostly when it’s something special that I know some people won’t see otherwise.

do you retweet yourself? is that weird or normal?  I always see tweets from people that are retro-posts, which is kind of cool. But I have no idea how to do that!

Do you comment on every post you read? Or just some of them? I always feel guilty not commenting when I am reading someone's blog so I typically will comment (hence the ridiculousness that is my google reader right now) unless by some chance I have NOTHING to say.  I know there are more than a few people reading over here, but my comments are usually crappy. Say hi people – I like to know who you are.

One thing I can’t get on board with is liking your own facebook posts – because, you posted it so of course you like it – no?

So, I ask you wise internets, is there such a thing as social media etiquette or am I just being paranoid and nobody but me pays that close of attention to what is posted where?

Gianna-isms: hilarity, et. al.

The age of 3(.5) has seriously brought out the hilarity in my little girl. Every single day she says something that I wish I had recorded because – seriously. lolforeverandever.

She picks up on EVERYTHING. And she makes jokes. Which I happen to enjoy a ton.

A few gems from the past few weeks:

::Mike’s downstairs playing some music::

G – hey, is that daddy down there playin’ music? we should check…” (she goes down there to check out the scene and eventually comes to the bottom of the steps with her hands on her hips) “Hey, Mommy, are you comin’ down here to check this party out? Yes? Okay! Cooooooome On!” (followed by some crazy dance moves)

 

::Mike and Gianna are riding in the car::

Mike – Gianna, that sounds like Justin Bieber on the radio

Gianna – Daddy! That is not Damn Beaver

Mike – uh, what?

G – I SAID that is NOT Damn Beaver

Mike – I really can’t hear you, what? (turns music down)

G – Daddy. This is NOT Damn Beaver. It is JUSTIN BIEBER.

 

::riding in the car to dance class::

Me – how was your day today?

G – it was good. we are going to the farm tomorrow and me and Maggie are going to ride on the hay thingies and the farmer’s gonna drive. And it is going to be so cool. Can you even believe that?

Me – You sound really excited about that.

G – It’s going to be magical.

 

::talking to my sister::

Jacqui – (makes random noises at Luci, who does a lot of newborn sleep squeaking)

G – awe, Aunt Jacqui, are you teaching baby Luci her amimal sounds? that’s so cute!

 

::at dinner::

G – Aunt Jacqui has a weird looking belly button.

Me – Hers is just different than yours, that doesn’t make it weird.

G – yea it does. and sometimes my belly button can talk and says “let’s get this party started”

Me and Mike – what???

 

::just a random conversation::

Me – did you just say that was not a tragedy?

G – No mommy, nuffing is a tragedy unless you fart

Me – um, where did you come up with that?

G – (she is dying laughing) Daddy told me that. And he gave me the idea to fart on you, mommy. isn’t that hilarious?

Me – no…. no it is not…..

Catching up {by numbers}

I am behind with life right now, so time for a little catch-up.

365: days ago I was floating around the Mediterranean on a huge boat with my family. I can't believe that was a year ago.
1: number of Bradley classes we have had so far. I like it & I am really excited about it.
100: grams of protein I should be eating a day
25: grams of protein I ACTUALLY eat a day
41.1: weeks the average woman is pregnant (thank you Harvard...)
14.6: weeks left until my "due" date (OMG)
23252345782: names we have discussed for this baby.
0: names we have agreed on
34210: things that need done before the baby arrives
2: contractors I have contacted about a minor home repair we need done.
0: number of contractors who have called me back (Seriously, I can't explain my frustration over this)
1: new hot water tank we had to put in last weekend
18: hours from the time we "discovered" the need for the new hot water tank until it was installed
2: brother in laws who are awesome and handy and very helpful
0.5: level of concentration i have been able to muster up lately
10: jewelry shows/events scheduled before christmas
15: number of jewelry shows I want to hold before christmas (hoping to make up that scheduling difference this weekend!)
1.5: nights every week where nothing is scheduled. Or less. Sometimes it's 0 nights a week....
5976: times a day I think about all of the other things I need/want/should be doing while at work

so, things are crazy (as usual). I'm tired (as usual). but everyone is good, healthy, growing, etc. Trying to keep my head above water these days.

{total stole the by numbers idea from Danifred, because she is awesome}

Overwhelmed and Underprepared

There are less than 16 15 weeks until we have a new person living in our house. A new little tiny itty bitty person.

FIFTEEN WEEKS!

And when you think about what is going to happen in those 15 weeks (lots of packed weekends, bradley classes, halloween, thanksgiving, christmas, new years, family birthdays, work, etc. etc. etc.) they are going to FLY right past us just like the last twenty something weeks have.

When I am overwhelmed I make lists. And the other day at work, after I started freaking out and having myself a very quiet little pity party/cry fest at my desk, that’s what I did. And I emailed it to Mike, who thought I was just a little bit crazy but also started to feel a little of my OHMYGAWD we have a lot of shit to do-ness that I have been feeling. 

We got rid of a lot of things after we had Gianna/moved/got pissed at not getting pregnant (okay, that part was all me) but also – a lot of things were just worn out (or were second hand to begin with). and some things, this new baby gets fresh!

I present to you, the list (not in any order of importance) ((complete with my stream of consciousness notes to mike!)) (((we are very not prepared))):

Things to buy sooner (for the girls):

• New bottles (we got rid of ours)
• New pacifiers (again, got rid of)
• warmer clothes in newborn & 0-3 months
• Size newborn & size 1 diapers & wipes (maybe re-sign up for amazon mom?)
• heavier weight swaddle-me/swaddling blankets (do we really need this??)
• lovie for baby (from Gianna)
• humidifier
• sound / white noise machine (bear??)
• Changing pad for dresser. (something for upstairs too???)
• diaper genie & refills
• Big sister gift (what to get????)
• boppy & cover (did i let someone borrow ours??)
• baby meds 
• rock & play (or borrow)
• more baby hangers
• burp clothes, bibs, baby wash rags, towels, changing pad covers
• I have no idea what else we need…….

Things to buy soon-ish (for me/mike/house)

• glider/rocker for the nursery
• feminine hygiene stuff (yay…)
• nursing stuff (what the heck do i need???)
• wine for when the baby comes home.... beer for mike.... (joking. sort of. not really)
• pump??
• nursing cover
• moby or something like that? (or borrow??)
• living room storage solution (where are we going to put everything??)

Things to pull out of storage/wash

• All newborn and 0-3 month clothing (determine if everything is seasonally appropriate and make new clothes list for any gaps – add to buy list….)
• Car seat base, cover, bundle me
• Big Stroller
• See if cloth parts of bouncer can come off to be washed (make sure bouncer works!)
• Play mat and toys
• Teethers, rings, and other 0-6 month toys (find a good place to keep baby toys)
• Crib bedding, sheets, blankets, burp rags, etc. etc. etc.

Things to put into storage

• G's outgrown clothes & toys.....
• lightweight stroller

Rooms to Tackle: Gianna's Room

• fix up dress up area how I want it
• Paint???
• Buy artwork for walls/print pictures/frame/etc.

Rooms to Tackle: Baby's Room

• find someone to fix window/wall ASAP
• paint, clean, rearrange as necessary
• Raise crib 
• Get/hang up artwork
• clean carpet

Rooms to Tackle: The rest of the upstairs!

• touch up paint (where baby gate was)
• try to come up with better playroom storage/arrangement (ha!)
• figure out where baby stuff will go upstairs
• Clear out cupboard space for bottles, etc.

Other

• Pick a name for the baby…….
• Maternity photo shoot (when?!!)
• hospital packing list/bag (figure out what diaper bag to use....)
• Maternity leave & STD paperwork
• Pre-register at hospital (no idea if we have to do this??)
• sign G up for big sister classes
• Figure out main plan (plus 2 back up plans) for what to do with Gianna when the baby comes
• Take/Finish bradley classes
• Try not to freak out
• Holy shit we are having another baby

There it is kids. My lovely, scary, really freaking long, list of shit that needs done sooner than later.  I KNOW it will all be fine, and that all the really important stuff will get done. But goodness I am just overwhelmed with THINGS to do and also, the TIRED from all of the other stuff going on every day.