Who wants to celebrate?

it's over!!
i did my best.

i learned........

1. i can stay in my house for more than 2 days in a row and not even notice
2. i can not put on "real clothes" for days.... and again, not even notice
3. the tan lines that are created from books resting on legs = not very attractive
4. ponytails everyday are not that good for your hair
5. looking at the computer for 8 or 9 or 10 hours a day really makes my eyes burn
6. the house can get mighty dirty after a few weeks of not cleaning
7. friends really do forget about you/what you are doing if you don't contact them for weeks [sorry guys - i'm back now]
8. i hate repetitive noises - ie: sawing, sandpaper,chainsaws....
9. i have more endurance than i thought
10. the support i have from my husband, family and friends is what got me through this month --- THANK YOU!!!!! [and i know you'll love me no matter what happens]

so, now we wait for the results. if i ever thought that the "TWW" [which i am also in] was torture - this i fear will be like pulling teeth [i have an irrational fear of the dentist] i have quite a few things going on that will hopefully keep me busy enough that i don't obsess, can't change anything now and i really feel like i did the best that i could. [good enough? lets hope!] but for the next few days i will be relaxing some and celebrating my "freedom"! speaking of celebrating --- visit mel and celebrate with her!!

Teaser Tuesday: One & Done edition

This is what i have been looking at for the past 20something days.....

let's hope that my new friend Kym's "one shot, one kill" test taking strategy will come in handy for me as well.
Thank you for the support & well wishes - i'm sneaking them into the testing room with me tomorrow!
And then... we can wait together for 3...or 4... or 6?![dear god i hope not] weeks until my score comes back.....

Game on.....

panic in the batcave

t minus 4 days. and i feel like i don't know anything all of a sudden.
fuck.
i should have never logged on to that site and seen that "score checker", proceeded to "check score" of practice test. no. i was happy thinking i was doing ok. now - panic. an intense amount of panic. a few deep breaths in between and a lot of decently productive studying - but mostly panic. If I hear "you're smart - you can do it" one more time, I might implode - or explode on whomever is unlucky enough to say that to me. I know I am smart enough, I just don't know if I am prepared enough - this is a different monster who keeps trying to freak me out everytime time i think i got it out from under my bed.

know what else? my computer is trying to self destruct. yup right now. as i am typing. suddenly it wants to infect itself with lots of shit just to piss me off and ensue more panic, because you know, all of what i need to do is on this thing.

so - when you are in a situation such as this blogger buddies - how do you deal? do you overcompensate and knock it out of the park, do you shut down, suppress your panic with cookies?

how many more days?

check ticker---->

days are dwindling until D-day (or T-day if you prefer) and my brain, it might be frying like an egg in the sun. it is seriously playing tricks on me. for example: i am now DREAMING about this damn test, as if it's not enough that i spend practically every waking moment preparing for it, it is now in my [precious] sleep - haunting me -last nights variety was something along the lines of me just sitting at the computer on test day and for all eight hours just staring at it, not clicking any buttons or anyting cuz i was so freaked out, followed by a lovely rendition of quizzing myself on pharmacuticals in my sleep?!! for the love of gawd!!

so ya, i think it needs to get here -- and be over. i'm feeling a little more than freaked out. i don't know if it's healthy "just enough anxiety to make me concentrate" freaked out or bad "i'm gonna skip over all the important words" freaked out. trying to make sure it's the first one - still steadly improving on my question bank everyday - i'm not shooting for the stars here, just shooting for a decent PASSING score!!

pesky

I have the peskiest neighborhood kids - and here are a few things I would like to tell their parents

• while I am glad your kids are playing outside instead of in front of the TV - it doesn't mean they need to scream like someone is cutting off their left freaking leg every five minutes. nope. it does not.
• you should teach them that when cars come - it means get the fuck out of the road [and don't throw shit at oncoming drivers]
• proper language for 5-10year olds should not include fuck, shit and damnit.
• again, the yelling - always YELLING I know you are outside, but i didn't know outside voices ment YELLING?! i know i'm not a parent - but damn, i'm a nanny and i sure as shit don't the kids i watch YELL the whole time they are outside playing....
• when a baby cries - you should not tell it to be quiet, or that "you make mommy mad when you cry" - baby does not care. BABY hello?!!

so ya, thats the klass that lives very near to me. recently i have felt the need to move. a change. maybe its the pesky neighbors, maybe i am just feeling cramped here [despite the ample space that we have] maybe its none of these things. maybe it's all of them and more.

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in other news - Jen is officially, and i quote "fucking pregnant"*! and I am way too excited for her and her husband. That quote sums up her experience to get here, and the happieness I am sure she is feeling now all in two words!! I however am feeling the burnout a little bit with the big test 9 days away. It's better now than it was a few days ago, I kind of had to ride it out and I think I am back on track again. I got really nervous today all of a sudden - like holy shit this is freaking for real next week! Still trucking along full speed ahead..... AANNDD in TTC news - there isn't much, just same old business, I'm thinking this week is O week, so you know what that means! Will update as needed :)

*and, b.c i am surrounded by superfertilewomen

- in the past 2 wks (maybe 2 1/2) FIVE add'l

women have told me they are pg! congrats but sheesh share the frickin water!