Pump Pump

I don’t LOVE breastfeeding, but I don’t hate it and it is incredibly convenient. I think we are doing okay, I am constantly second guessing myself about if things are working right, but I think that’s normal.  Or I hope it’s normal.  So, overall, it’s okay and tolerable.

Except when I have to pump. Because I HAVE to pump since I am going back to work. (April 1st…only part time for the month, but still. ick)  I do hate that.  Especially double pumping.  But that is really beside the point right, because it’s a necessity.

So here is where I need some help or reassurance or something.

I try to pump once a day right now, usually in the morning, I get about 2oz from one side/3-4oz if I double pump.  That seems okay for now, but I obviously know she is going to need more than 4oz a day! 

What I really need to know/understand is how much I need to leave for Aleesia if I am going to be gone for 10 hours a day and how much I should be pumping while at work.  I have a masters degree but for some reason, this confuses the hell out of me.  Or it just intimidates the hell out of me.

I want to do this for her and I want to make this work for all of us. But I don’t want to be totally stressed about it either, because I know that’s not going to do anybody any good either.  I would guess that she will take 4-6 bottles while I am gone just depending on how things work out and what kind of schedule we finally establish once I am back full time.

Things I am worried about: determining a schedule that works for both of us, keeping my supply up (this non dairy/non soy diet is rough!), being able to pump enough at work, not losing my mind

help me out fellow working mamas, what do I need to know/do/understand etc about breastfeeding/pumping and going back to work?

Wordless Wednesday

Things are a little nuts around here.
Thankfully these two are super cute when they aren't screaming at or talking back to me.

Juggle

I am not a stranger to being pulled in what often feels like a million different directions and juggling a lot of responsibilities.  In fact, I am good at (for the most part) keeping it all together and do a better job when I have a jam packed schedule.

Throw a newborn into the mix of our already crazy lives and take me out of work for 8-12 weeks and I feel like I am totally in uncharted territory!

And the juggling doesn’t always feel like it’s going so well.  I am tired a lot, so that never helps anything.  I am also not used to being home so much – it is great, so please don’t get me wrong – I am ADORING spending this much time with my girls especially knowing this is such a finite experience for us.  It is all just very different from my “old” normal.

It is HARD to juggle the needs of an independent almost-four-year-old who still needs (& craves) a lot of mama time with the needs of a six-week-old who also needs a lot of mama time, and who does a lot of crying.  Add on top of that feeding said children (and myself), making sure the house isn’t overrun by toys, dishes, laundry and dirt and also making sure the children are not overrun by dirt and we have food in the cupboards - my head spinning a lot of the time.  It is getting  better (or I am caring less about certain things) and some days it is easier.  Other days – it is just pure chaos!

admittedly this whole 2 kids thing is a lot harder than I expected.  probably because I was SO used to our little routine and was away from the “newborn madness” for so long.  Aleesia is finally starting to get on a bit more of a “schedule” which is a huge blessing.  Gianna is finally starting to figure out her big sister role and how this all works – and that we all need to work TOGETHER.  All of these things make the juggling a bit easier, but I still pretty much always feel like I am forgetting something important.  Because I usually am.  I rely HEAVILY on my phone to keep me organized! Technology, FTW!

Part of me hates to start to feel any kind of “normal” right now though, because I know as soon as I settle in to a routine it’s going to change drastically when I go back to work.  I will be setting up my part time schedule next week (for April 1) and I am dreading it because I don’t want to go back yet but also looking forward to it in a lets-just-get-this-over-with-already kind of way.

Who needs cheese anyway

Like most people, I SWORE I had parenting all figured out before I actually, you know, was a parent.

My family gives me crap all.the.time because I swore I would never do approximately 98% of the things that I do regarding parenting my kids. (I still find it really strange to type kidS!) 

One of the things I could never understand was how or why anyone would EVER want to give up dairy to continue breastfeeding.  Formula is fine, why put yourself through that nonsense especially when breastfeeding can be hard enough.  Ice Cream, Cheese, all amazing foods in my book.  And let’s be serious, what good is an oreo without milk?  (remember I had a baby with MSPI and reflux once who survived just fine on Alimentum and Prevacid!)

And then, I had another baby who I decided to breastfeed.  Who appears to have a big issue with dairy (and soy, I think).  Not a huge surprise since her sister did too – but here I am shoving my foot in my mouth again.  Because I gave up dairy last week. Without even really thinking twice about it because my baby is hurting and I would do anything to make sure she is happy.  And, while I don’t LOVE breastfeeding – I do enjoy it enough not to quit it just because I can’t have a milkshake.

Aleesia is less gassy (that girl had some horrendous smelling gas!) and her skin is much less red and blotchy.  She still has a lot of reflux that quite obviously makes her uncomfortable but it is slightly improved from what it was this time last week. 

I did cut out dairy totally but have still been eating some soy (in stuff, like soy milk in my coffee at Starbucks) and I think that the soy has to go also.  Which is a lot harder than just dairy, but that’s okay.

It is not easy.  And I never really paid any attention to food labels/ingredient lists.  But it is enough to make your head spin – and your stomach churn a little – when you look at the list on something you think should be so simple and there are about a million things on there that you can’t even pronounce.  I already don’t eat “enough” so not being able to calorie-load on ice cream or greek yogurt is crappy but I am finding some (not necessarily as satisfying) other high-calorie non-dairy alternatives.  And I really like almond milk, so that’s an easy switch!   There are also so many great resources out there of what is good/not good to buy and good recipes (that I haven’t yet tried).  I think the change in diet, while maybe or maybe not forever, will be a good one and hopefully will help “clean up” some of the junk we tend to eat out of convenience. 

The hardest part is just waiting to see a change.  and not comparing this experience to the one we had with Gianna.  I have been considering putting her on a probiotic as well, there is a lot of information out there that supports their use in babies.

While I am morning the loss of ice cream and greek yogurt and cheese – I am just keeping my fingers crossed that we are on our way to a happy baby.  and add another thing on to the “I had no clue what the hell I was talking about when I said that” list.

Wordless Wednesday

This girl, she is hilarious.  And ready for summer!

This girl, she doesn’t sleep much, despite the sleepy and yawning pictures.  And is quickly growing.