Happy.

A few people mentioned in the comments of my FNL post that I seemed happy.

And it hit me.

I AM happy.

Finally.

I always try to act happy, but for the past several months, I know that I was not in fact, ACTUALLY happy.  Things made me happy, but in general, no, I really wasn’t.  I simply threw myself into other things (masters degree, huge fundraiser, other projects) so I didn’t have to think about me.

And I never told anyone that.

I went about  my life to the best of my ability, because lord knows it wasn’t going to stop because I was sad.  I just did whatever I needed to do – bills, laundry, parenting, socializing, whatever it was.

It occurred to me at one point that probably, something was a little off. I just didn’t FEEL like me. But, I figured it was because of (insert any life situation here) and once THAT was handled, I would be fine.  But as we all know, things were being piled on faster than they could be taken care of – so that point didn’t really come until recently.

Should I have gone mentioned something? YES.

Why didn’t I? Because I am stubborn.

But life has improved, things are looking good and I am thankful to report that I am back to feeling like ME again. There are still challenges we have to overcome, naturally, but we’re working on it and because I FEEL better about me, I feel much better about all of the things looming ahead n our future.

So thanks for noticing the happy, because you helped me to notice it too.