It’s either Her OR Me: Giveaway!!

Mothers In Law.

Not exactly the best friend to a lot of women.  Me included.

I try not to blog to much about my relationship with my in-laws out of respect for my husband.  It is a strained relationship, at best.   It wasn’t always that way,  there are a number of reasons that have accumulated over the years, not just one or two isolated events that have gotten us where we are now.
And then I had the opportunity to read this book by Ellie S. Fisher. This amazing, insightful book filled with “OH! That’s Me!” moments about the relationship between a daughter in law & her son’s mother.

As soon as I got the book, I turned to the contents to see what the book was all about.

And then immediately turned to the last chapter. The endgame: grandkids. 

There are so many parts of this book that resonated with me – this is the most pertinent at the moment.  My in-laws are CONVINCED I hate them.  I do not.  I do not agree with a lot of how they go about child-rearing (or grand-child rearing) or the strange way they interact with G.  And, if you have ever met me, you know that I am an emotions on the outside kind of person, which translates much harsher at times than I would ever intend for it too.  That is(one of)my issue.  I would NEVER, in a million years, prevent them from spending time with their granddaughter.  They just choose not to initiate that time, and then get upset that they don’t see her enough.  It’s a total catch-22.

I went through the rest of the book as well – it was an easy read packed with a lot of helpful information.

In Chapter 3, she talks about the relationship between all the women in a man’s life.  One topic she talked about was gift giving. 

Let me tell you a little story.  My mother-in-law is known for her quirky “crafty” gift ideas.  Sometimes, they are corny and fun.  Most of the time – they are corny and the butt of jokes between my husband & I.  Also? She tries to buy clothes.  And that never goes over well.  When i was pregnant she bought me the most, interesting, maternity clothes…..  And now? She buys G equally interesting clothes…..  She goes on & on about how adorable they are and they she shows me something denim & covered in appliquéd flowers. And I throw-up a little in my mouth while trying to figure out how to get rid of them.  I try to smile and I ALWAYS say thank  you.  But, it’s usually pretty clear when I don’t like something.  I suck at hiding my dislike of things.

Ellie talks about how to get a rocky relationship to a happy medium, and I plan on trying some of the tips she offers, especially when I need to word things in a more non-judgmental way.  I understand it is not good to say “stop following her around with a carpet square, she will be fine” or “dang, why does the house smell like dog pee every time we come over?!!”  and should probably say “if you give her some freedom she walks a lot better” when they chase after my very clumsy little bug or ask about a scented candle or something when the house is stinky.

One of my favorite parts of the book is at the end of each chapter she lists keepsakes on that topic.  Some of my favorites include:

His significant other earns first place or the game’s over – for everyone.
Love, love, love that birthday present
The guys significant other has some clout in making each mom – hers and his – feel a part of their life
A woman you view as a difficult mother-in-law may very well be viewed by your child as a loving grandmother.  And that is something for which to be truly grateful.

There are plenty more quirks about my mother in law and the relationship we have, but I want to hear about YOUR mother-in-law relationships.  Give me the nitty-gritty, good or bad. I want it all!  With the holiday this past weekend and G’s birthday coming up, you can be sure that I will have plenty of good stories.

And, if you leave me a comment with said mother-in-law dirt, you will be entered to WIN your very own copy of this fabulous book!


Extra Entries (be sure to leave a separate comment for each. it counts if you already do any of these things too!!):
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Giveaway ends Wednesday April 14 11:49pm
Winner will be selected randomly & contacted via Email by Thursday April 15.

It’s Either Her or Me is available on Amazon.com & wherever books are sold.  Visit Ellie’s website, blog, twitter & facebook.

**It’s Either Her or Me was provided for me to review and giveaway by Random House Publishing Group.  All other content & opinions are my own.**