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Monday, June 1, 2009

Real Life

I feel like tomorrow is my first baby step back into my "real life".
I am working, at the office, tomorrow afternoon and Wed. morning.
It should be interesting, in many ways.

For pretty much my entire life I have said I could never be a stay at home mom. And for the most part, I feel the same exact way today. I adore my daughter, spending time with her is my favorite thing to do. But I crave interaction, purpose & fulfilment that her little self and doing the dishes can't give me. Absolutly I will miss her, but I will be that much more excited to spend time with her.

There is a deep down need inside of me to work. I have done it since I was 15 and never stopped to look back or think twice. I worked through college while taking 25 credit hours, I worked through medical school, I will work through graduate school and through the beginning of my child's life. I hope, one day, I am successful enough at what I do to be able to work part time, but to be perfectly honest - I don't see that happening in the near or distant future. I enjoy what I do, for the most part who I work with, and I especially enjoy the feeling of providing for my family and myself.

Don't get me wrong, staying at home with your kids is no less of a job, no less fulfilling, no less purposeful and certainly not less work. But for me, something is missing and I will be glad to be at work no matter how much I bitch about it.
And, considering the way the economy is currently, I am thankful to have any job, let alone one that I like, am good at and appreciated for. There is not a day that goes by that I take that for granted.

So, tomorrow is the first baby step, it will be fine.
I am actually pretty anxious to get a new schedule down (work/workout/baby/husband and soon school... it will all fit in somehow!)

8 comments:

  1. good luck hun! I balanced work and being a mom for years. Yes it was hard..but you are right, it is fullfilling! Some days I miss working.. especially because I have a college degree...but situations make our choices much different. good luck hun! you are such a hard worker and you deserve to be successful!

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  2. Good luck! I know what you mean...as much as I love being a mother, there is this longing to work that is always there. You have to do what works for you.

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  3. I have a feeling this is how I will be as well. The time when I wasn't subbing or working and it was just my job to take care of the house...it drove me absolutely up the wall. I know a baby will give me lots more to do, but I don't know that that will be "enough" for me either. Plus with our career selections, we won't exactly be bringing in the big bucks. So mama will need to work. :)

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  4. Good luck! I'm sure it will go well for you!

    I did much of the same, work, school, and a little one. It can definitely be done! Hope your first day back is great!

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  5. Hope your first day back in the "real world" goes well!

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  6. Oh I was/am the same way-- I was always very excited to get back into the groove at work after having my children. I hope that it went well for you!

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  7. Good luck! I bet everything goes wonderfully... being at home full time is so hard. It really is.
    *hugs*

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