Responsible

Do you ever find being responsible, or responsibility in general, to be overrated?

That is how I feel at the moment. I have a lot of decisions to make that require me to be responsible.

Little daily responsibilities like making sure Gianna is offered something other than waffles to eat (knowing damn well she won’t eat anything else) and gets dressed (potty training days not included) properly.

Bigger daily responsibilities like feeding myself something other than coffee, making sure bills are paid, laundry is washed, dishes are put away and the house is not filthy.

Life responsibilities like deciding on health insurance, what car to get, what kind of furniture to buy, making smart financial decisions when the unsmart ones sound so much better.

But it is much more fun to let Gianna eat waffles all day (no arguments!), wear something completely inappropriate (like pj’s and a tinkerbelle outfit to play in the water table) and watch her smile all day. Or to really just drink coffee all day and read a book outside instead of doing the laundry – much more enjoyable day in my opinion.

But my favorite fantasy at the moment? Wishing that someone, even for just one day, would make all of the difficult decisions go away – or at least replace at least one of the equally crappy available options with something a little more acceptable.

Today was a day of waffles, coffee, crazy outfits & outside fun with a splash of ignoring pretty much everything else on my list of things to do/think about/decide on.

I’ll be responsible tomorrow.

{Unless of course you want to responsible for me}

In which I tell the internet about my daughter’s potty habits

Gianna got a potty around her 2nd birthday and we have been half-assed teaching her what is supposed to go on there.

She did great when she felt like it.

And the “when she felt like it” part was just getting annoying to me. So I decided last week we are just going to do it. Many of my friends have RAVED about this 3 day potty training method.

I checked it out. But already had my own plan in my mind. I sort of did a combo of the “official” 3 day method and my own random thoughts.

So we bought the underwear. Bought a few prizes. {she doesn’t get anything but a giant celebration for going on the potty, no gummies, no m&m’s, no stickers. what can I say? I’m mean!} {{she likes when people make a BIG FUCKING DEAL out of anything she does though, so this works for her}} And went for it.

We started by having her help me “throw away” all of the diapers in her room. We then put all her underwear in the diaper basket and she picked out a pair to wear.

The first day, naturally there were accidents. But we stayed positive. Gave her a lot to drink. And said probably 402124022x ‘Make sure to tell Mommy & Daddy when you have to go potty”. She started to catch on at the end of the day.

Since I “threw away” all the diapers – she couldn’t wear them to bed. And HOLY SHIT! She has yet to wake up wet – and she sleeps for long periods of time. {a whole other post to come on her wake-up process}

The next day we did more of the same. Excitement. Underwears. Clean up pee. Pee in the Potty!!!! Rinse. Repeat. The 2nd day was not as good as the first, like she was bored with the whole process. She did poop once in the potty and once in her underwear. (I threw those away…no seriously, I did) Overall, the 2nd day was worse but not as bad as I expected.

The third day – again, more of the same. More “tell us when  you have to go potty” repetition.

We played outside for a while, most of the time in just underwear and a t-shirt {KLASS} which was a nice change of pace from the movie-a-thon of the weekend.

She did AWESOME by the afternoon – told us when she had to pee before she actually started peeing and everything! (earned herself a chapstick!) But. She pooped in her underwear again and asked me to “change her diaper”. This was close to bedtime so we talked about how she HAD to tell mommy when she had to pee AND poop. She told me she had to pee and poop in the potty etc etc etc.

Today, at the suggestion of some friends, I took her underwear away. I could tell she was using them sort of as a crutch – like, once she felt them get wet, THEN she realized she should go to the potty.

It was all fun and games until she pooped on the floor. She ran to me and said OH NO! I POOPED! Wasn’t a HUGE deal, clean up wise, and I think she’s getting the message. She even went and peed on the potty by herself, no prompting, after that.

She will earn a trip to the zoo if she keeps up the good work today, or whatever day she has no accidents.

I was really nervous for this whole process, but I am really glad it’s almost over – it’s not as bad as I anticipated – even if she is one of the most stubborn girls I know.

Also? I am glad we just went for it – beating around the bush was getting us nowhere fast.

Tips I have to pass on from my own experience:

• Ditch the diapers. Its crazy, I know, but I don’t think we would be successful at all if she knew they were there. We don’t do pull-ups either.
• Don’t say “do you have to go?” because they WILL say no, natch. By reminding her to tell us when she has to go, she is recognizing that feeling and the subsequent action.
• We also don’t make her “try”. It became a power struggle, and I’m not willing to fight with her on it.
• Stay positive – even when they have an accident. I also have her “help” me clean up – not as punishment, just as a natural consequence. I always am sure to say “you aren’t in trouble” also.
• Drink wine. Or whatever alcoholic bevey you prefer.

Hopefully the progress continues and I can leave my house soon…. I am totally petrified to go to the store or anywhere, for that matter. But I know she’ll be okay. I just don’t know if I will!

I can’t believe I just wrote a whole post about potty training. I am sure that was on the “I won’t ever” list…..

Friday Night Leftovers

• Thank you for putting up with my emotional melt-down yesterday. You are all truly amazing and I am so blessed to have you in my life.
• First step in big-girl world came the other night, we took the crib face off of her bed. She loves it.
• There are 3 beds that I like for her, one is a good price but not in stock. One is stupid expensive. One is a really good price but I only kinda like it. Go figure.
• Something that goes along with big-girl world is a HUGE attitude. The attitude and defiance and stubbornness is at an all time high, need to reign her back in big time.
• When she’s not loudly expressing her right to speak her mind – she is so freaking awesome. Two year olds are very interesting….
• There is not happy medium though, she’s either so so great, or so so not. And her switch flips faster than I can blink usually. Keeps me on my toes, that’s for sure.
• My sister is in the Dominican Republic on a missions trip. (she is amazing) She told me that she literally gave her shoes away yesterday. God is so good.
• Potty training “supplies” were bought today: more ‘underwears’ & big kid flushable wipes. Prizes for staying dry include: flappy fairy wings, princess swim goggles and “mush”, also known as chap stick.
• Hold me. It could be a long weekend.
• Also, visit the other Danifred to check out the rest of the leftovers.

untitled

Generally, I am the happy one. The one who smiles at everything, laughs a lot and finds the silver lining. The one who remembers small things (and big things), worries, hopes & prays FOR others close to me. The hard worker, eternal optimist and planner.

My philosophy is that you don’t get anywhere without hard work, so there’s no point in complaining about it. Life is full of ups and downs so might as well make the best of it. Besides, being all grumpy and down in the dumps isn’t going to get me anywhere.

And then there are times that I don’t WANT to be any of things. I want to be upset, frustrated and just angry about things.

Now, is one of those times.

I don’t know if it’s the fact that the engine in my car is broken and we weren’t prepared for such an expense. Or the fact that putting an engine in said car is not at all financially smart but neither is buying another car. Or maybe it’s because every time I feel like things are okay – something shitty happens (car again).

That I often feel like I HAVE to be the one to give up things, to come up with a plan, to handle it all. (I know that’s not necessarily true).

Maybe it’s because things are just generally stressful right now – a lot is going on and not going on at the same time. I have had a hard time keeping my cool with my spunky two year old the past couple days and I HATE that. Which makes me even more nervous about our decision to TTC. I feel very unsettled with where I am in life – I need to just get over it and accept it.

Part of it could be that I don’t think I should feel the way I do. People close to me are dealing with BIG things – such as children fighting to survive – making me feel ridiculous for being upset over the problems and frustrations in my life.

I just want my family (and my friends!) to catch a break. Or a little extra strength so I can deal with the problems at hand. Or a large box of kleenex and a large bottle of wine.

Things will be okay, some day. But for this day? I just need to cry a little.

Big girl stuff

As I come to terms with the fact that my peanut baybee is QUICKLY becoming my peanut BIG GIRL(!!!) I have to come to terms with all the things big girls do – like pee on the potty and sleep in big girl beds.

So, mom’s of BIG GIRL’S (& BOYS!)! Here come the questions:

We have been toying around with potty training and I fully intend on doing the 3 day no diaper method in the very near future. She pees on the potty almost every time she sits on it and uses as a bargaining chip and a stall tactic – I would say she’s ready to go for it.

Me? Probably not so much!

The question here? I don’t really have one (yet) just moral support and stories of “this worked for me”. Or good wine recommendations….

The next big girl step? Is the big girl bed. G is SO SO ready for this transition, but she does great in her crib still and I like knowing she is in one spot all snug and safe. Also? I feel like when the crib is gone, there’s no turning back – she is a full-fledged big kid!

I am working on getting the actual bed/bedding (okay, G picked some of it out)/décor and all that under wraps. But in the meantime let me talk to you about our space issue and get your thoughts, since you all are the experts.

Right now, we have a playroom. That room will become Gianna’s room and I have NO IDEA what to do with all the shit toys in there. I think we will leave her dress up clothes in her room, and her books, but I don’t know that I want her to have lots of toys distractions in her room. Thoughts on toys in a toddler’s room? My first instinct is to take them all out of there, but then we are back to the space/storage issue. What do you do? All ideas on this topic are welcome.

Also any tricks or tips at keeping toddlers in their beds would be awesome, I want to have some back-up plans in place!

Big girl-dom, here we come……

Thinking Things Through

I have been “unemployed” since October – using that term lightly since I sell Premier Designs Jewelry, freelance write and teach & have been doing 2/3 since October. Putting those three incomes together I make well over what I was brining home from my full-time position, in a LOT less hours.

And I get to stay home with this spunky girl.

Watching her grow, teaching her things and really ENJOYing her & enjoying being her mom. I have always LOVED her, but when I saw her for only about an hour a day – the most stressful hour of her day (dinner/bath), after my own stressful day at work – typically there wasn’t much fun or enjoyment to be had.

Since October and really since graduating last month, I have turned up the job-searching to find a full-time position, because, that stable income and better health insurance would take a lot of [financial] stress of both Mike and I.

I had an interview last week for an 8-5/M-F position, it went well (haven’t heard back yet) and sounds like it would be a good opportunity. My biggest hang up? It’d be at least an hour drive each way & I haven’t worked 5 days a week since BEFORE I had Gianna (compressed work week was the best thing about my old job) and I don’t know that I want to make that commitment again if it’s not the exact right place to be. There’s no way to know, of course, if it would be the exact right place to be unless I got the job.

Working M-F comes with it’s own stresses though – daycare costs, missing time with Gianna/family, going back to that unbalanced feeling I had before.

I don’t know what is right (or even really what I WANT!), clearly I will do whatever I NEED to do for my family, regardless. I have been in such a state of “what’s next?” that it’s starting to blur the lines in mind of what I want, need and what a good option is for everyone.

My belief is that family comes first, work comes second – praying that I can stay true to that….

wordless Wednesday

I do it myself.

Also: where the heck did my baybee goooo?!!

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LeanGreenYOU Bootcamp–Week 1

Also titled: holy shit I am in a bikini on the internet.

(you have been warned)

I am SO excited to work with Jennifer McCay and the other bootcamp participants over the next 6 weeks as we learn how to live a more healthy life as busy moms and lose some weight in the process.

Normally, I am not a internet-video watcher, but this? THIS is amazing! Jennifer has prepared videos of the week’s lessons for participants to watch each week. And to boot, there are documents that I can print out & use all the time for reference and to keep me in check.

The big goal of this week is goal setting (or benchmarks) and focused on eating – especially what to eat & the importance of adding one healthy meal (breakfast) to each day. This.Is.So.Hard.For.Me since I drink coffee for breakfast usually. But you know what? I feel so much better, more awake and more energized when I eat oatmeal (with my coffee, am not totally crazy). It’s not like I didn’t know breakfast was a big deal, but I guess I didn’t realize how big of a deal it was.

I am going to weigh in every week, but really it’s the size of my clothes/how they fit that matter to me.

So. here it is. Thunderthighs & muffintop in all their glory. (please ignore the messy bedroom)

Day 1/Week1 June 12, 2011

Hold me accountable because I am going to need it!

If you are a part of the leangreenYOU bootcamp, I’d LOVE to hear how it’s going for you! the more accountability I can have – the better! I’d love to hear from you regardless, though!

Friday Night Leftovers: Notes on Disney edition

• I hate the week after vacation, it always feels so disorganized.
• We used the Disney Dining Plan on our trip and I can not emphasize enough how AWESOME this was. And what a HUGEEEEE savings it was. We paid for 3 days worth of meals what 1 character breakfast would have cost.
• However, when you are going to use the dining plan – don’t forget to make ALL of your table service reservations WELL BEFORE you leave…. I forgot to do one of ours.
• The good thing about that was we were able to change it over to a quick service meal.
• We will definitely be doing it again.
• We also be staying on property again because that convenience and the experience of it all was GREAT! And cost wise, it was not any more than staying off property.
• I am thankful that I am a picture taker because the pictures we got from the Disney people STUNK! There is not a single one that I will be buying, they were just really awful.
• One word of advice and something I never considered – bring something to entertain your small child while waiting in line. That is SO boring and you know, the whole toddler-patience-the-length-of-a-sneeze thing doesn’t help.
• My movie fanatic wanted NOTHING to do with the DVD player on the airplane. It was interesting trying to keep her entertained. The flight to Italy should be….well….LONG!
• If you can do it, go for a whole week and really spread out your days at the parks – it is so overwhelming (and hot!) that taking a trip back to the hotel to swim/chill/nap is amazing. I wish we would have had the time in our schedules to stay longer than we did.
• Mentally I am already planning when we can go back – probably not until late 2012 at the very very earliest – and what babysitter family members can come with us.
• It was fantastic, but Disney is exhausting by nature. Totally doable and not at all overwhelming, though. The memories we made were AMAZING and worth every minute.

visit our beautiful host, Danifred, to see what everyone else is leftover-ing about this week

Wordless Wednesday

I had to send back my amazing Tamron 18-270 that I rented.

Big sad face and another item added to the “wish I had it” list. but I am SO SO SO thankful I rented it.

2 parents, 1 2-year old “princess” & the happiest place on earth

We are back from Disney, I have gone through the 700+ pictures and Gianna is slowly recovering from her vacation hang-over.

Overall experience = A++

Gianna’s first airplane ride was likely harder on Mike & I than it was on her – she enjoyed the suckers. could care less about the dvd player & colored a lot. She also did not want to sit in her own seat, which was the hardest part. (the way home, was a little different. more on that later)

We stayed at the Port Orleans French Quarter and we were SO SO SO happy with it.

The resort is small (5 buildings) & compact with access via boat to Port Orleans Riverside (a HUGE resort by comparison) and Downtown Disney. It was it’s own stop via the Disney Transportation system which was a HUGE benefit to us. We stayed in building #4 and had a 2 second walk to the bus stop & a 1 minute walk to the pool/restaurant.

The pool was great. There was a slide for big kids & a wading pool for the wee ones.

We had 2-day park hopper tickets & participated in the Disney Dining Plan (separate post about food coming next).

The reason we came to Disney with a 2 year old was so she could see the princesses. And that is just what we did.

She met Mary Poppins & got a big kiss from her.

She met Princess Aurora (twice!)

And Belle. Which was by far the most magical experience. (she also met her in her fancy yellow dress!)

Of course, her beloved Cinda-lella.

And Tiana! And Prince Navine too.

Naturally, there were Minnie & Mickey sitings.

And some time to hang out with Tink.

She rode some rides, saw the sites, thoroughly wore herself out every day and it was really totally a GREAT vacation. We are already talking about when we can go back!

Look for a do’s/don’t’s/wish I had known post later this week.

LeanGreenYOU bootcamp winner!

Diane is the winner of the 6-week lifestyle bootcamp spot with LeanGreenMama!

I am so excited for you, Diane!!

Cute Baby Saturday–Princess edition

We are home. And tired. But here are a few of the 742 pictures that were taken over our 4 day trip.

BELLE!!!

Twirling with Tiana

Awestruck by Cinda-lella

 

Don’t forget to enter my 6-week lifestyle bootcamp giveaway! Ends tomorrow night! $497 value! It’s going to be awesome.

Disney sneak peak

Right off the back of my camera.
Can't wait for tomorrow - Cindalella day!

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Wordless Wednesday

taste of summer perfection.