run run jump

I feel like for every aspect of life right now - with every few steps forward there is a hurdle to jump.

-- G was doing GREAT on the Prevacid. Until last week. Now we are heading back the wrong direction and her pedi doesn't want to increase her dose.....
-- Buying a house may or may not be in our future, everytime we think we have the paperwork/issue figured out - something new comes up. This time, the problem may not be something I can fix... and that SUCKS in a big way. So much for that part of "the dream".
-- Financially for every success we have, there's a debt to take it's place
-- The weight's coming off nicely - but I feel set back in my 5k training from being sick the past 2 wks. and still, my pants don't fit.

I guess I am just overwhelmed and frustrated with everything that is going on. I am trying to get/keep everything under control - but I feel like it isn't working, at least not as well as I want it too. A break would be awesome.....

milestone monday

You know how they have those "week by week" books that tell you what your kiddo should be doing developmentally? I think I don't like those very much. Because while G is fine, she is just a little slow on the uptake of new skills.

She smiles a lot more now, but still not a ton - and only if she feels like it. I typically get the stink eye from her.... And, if the camera is out - FOR.GET.IT!

She laughs, sometimes, I get giggles now and then. Again, on her terms. She is ticklish though, so that can usually at least get a little noise to come out of her :)

Grabbing at toys? She could care less 90% of the time - she has one toy on her carseat that she seems to really like to "play" with. The rest of them she likes to look at, and sometimes she will bat at/try to grab them - but usually she is content to just lay and flirt. I actually think a lot of the things she has kind of scare her -- for example, the links - if you shake them in front of her she just stares at you like you have 3 heads. Also, anything that vibrates - she gets this look on her face like "really, get that thing away from me!"

She hates to "stand" - as soon as she feels her feet under her - they are immediatly picked up. It's kinda funny. But then, she has trouble with her exersaucer too...

She does sit and hold her head up like a freaking champ. Very little support is needed.

She is definatly aware of her surroundings and she knows who mom and dad are - THAT is pretty awesome!

And today, she learned something else:

mom.. um... are you TRYING to get me to vomit? yes? ok....

Oh, nevermind. I will eat these awesome hands instead. NOM NOM

Hey, I bet these things would taste better if I were in a different direction.....

LOOK MAMA, I ROLLED OVER. Now, where are those hands again??

Belly to Back success for Miss G at 3.5months! She surprised herself when she did it, then she repeated the action, so I knew it was on purpose!

My Husband Rocks

It has been a tough couple weeks in our house - between our usual busy-ness, general cranky-ness and sleepy-ness add on to that my sickness and the baby's sickness + a dash of extra stress. Ya, we are a having a helluva good time over here. You should be jealous.



BUT - despite that, we had a movie night this week.

And it was fun.

And we smiled and laughed a lot.

Like teenagers.

Without a baby.

WOW!!!



Mike rocks this week because no matter what is going on, he can make me smile - usually without trying. And he can makes me feel special - that loving feeling if you will!! ;) love you!!

the reliables

This past week I have gone out twice sans baby. and sans husband.
Once for drinks, the other to see Mary Poppins with my sisters.

To be totally honest - before she was born, I thought I would go out a lot more often without her. But I don't. And I don't want to. I miss the little bug when I am away from her!! I don't know if it's because I am back to work so I don't get to see her all day or if she is just that fabulous that I want to hang out with her smiling self all the time. Probably both.

Also, another reason, I am picky on the babysitting. I have my reliables - mom, step-dad, sisters. I let them watch her without blinking twice. Anyone else, not so much. She is a bit of a tough cookie at times and I just don't want anyone who is not comfortable with her to be left alone. I don't care if you SAY you are comfortable, when she starts screaming bloody murder and wriggling around like she's possesed you are going to think twice. I do. If you can't spend more than an hour with her when her dad or I are present without getting a little twitchy & nervous, how can you watch her when we aren't there? And have me be okay with it? Sure, she is fun when she wants to be - but she sure has her moments..... So ya, I could leave her with more people - but she is my kid and I don't like to just "hand her off" if there is a way for her to come along to wherever we are going. And, I just won't do it if I don't feel comfortable, I can't.

We are going to a wedding this weekend, she's coming. All of my reliables will be there. I will leave early with her. It'll be okay.

Does anyone else have this problem? Do you want to take your little one with you if you can? do you only leave them with certain people?

mommy body

Let's discuss something, ladies.

Body size compared to weight.

I know I have talked about my efforts to get back in shape on here a few times, but I had a realization over the past week.
I have lost a significant amount of the weight I put on, 12lbs left to go out of the 50+ I packed on! Yay!
I can tell I am losing weight, but I still do not feel like my clothes are fitting the way I want them too. For a fact my ribs expanded and have yet to return to their prior size. Also, my hips expanded the minute that embryo implanted into my uterus, and they also clearly have no plans on returning to "normal" on their own accord.

There is no question that when you get pregnant your body changes, but when does it change BACK?!! or does it not?
I would like to have my "regular" body back, the "mommy body" can go.....
Let's be honest - I know people that way the exact same amount I do yet they wear a totally different size pants then me. Different in the direction I would like to go, that is. It has come to my attention that it totally does not matter how many pounds you are, but the distribution of those pounds.
Currently, mine are distributed on my thighs, hips & tummy - helloooo child birth is over, the hips may return to their previously scheduled sizing.

Since I was sick as hell for the past week+ I haven't been able to run or workout, so that sucks. But I still lost another pound last week - so there was some success.

My Husband Rocks

This week he does in fact rock for various reasons:

he went to the grocery store, alone, and bought all the right stuff.
he made me a really good dinner just because.
he cleaned up the house and let me go to bed early.
he made the babies bottles and let me go to bed early.
he got up with the baby in the morning and let me sleep in a little extra.
he helped me make and send out the babies baptism invitations.

all this because he loves me. and because i am sick. but mostly because he loves me ;)

I consider myself blessed to have a husband who helps out around the house, sure, there is always more that *I* think could be done, but the reality is, he does a lot and without him, a lot would not get done.

a break from your regularly scheduled blog

It's been a busy month - my Mom has kept me on my toes.

Dressing me in patriotic outfits

Letting me explore my crib and the really fun toys I have in there

She even bought me this REALLY fun new toy just for being 3 months old! I like it a lot, but I am a little too floppy still to use it
I have figured out that my hands are INCREDIBLY entertaining - Mom is always trying to keep them out of my mouth, but what does she know?

She took me in Grandma's pool - I liked floating a LOT. I think I will do this all the time.

We hung out together by the pool too, which was Okay.

It's been a busy month Internet friends!

hi friends

you know what, internets, life with a baby is WAYYY busier than it was without the baby. I was not sure that was possible?!

I still can not come up with a good routine for myself. Work all day, visit with the baby, put the baby to sleep, put myself to sleep.....
but you know what is missing in there?
NO?
Here let me show you: Husband, eating, chores, friends, general relaxing, exercising/losing my chub, husband.....

Further explanation:
I have not eaten a real dinner [on a work day] in weeks, not even exaggerating since i had cereal tonight. at 8:30.
I have had a shit ton of work - and I have to bring some of it home, so baby in bed - me working - hubby is lonely. And frankly, so am I.
I haven't seen my friends in WEEKS (maybe even a month?? longer for some of them).
My house looks like a bomb went off in it in the general areas of - bedroom, laundry area and kitchen 6.5/7 days of the week. [these are by my standards, which are high, we do not live in filth!]
Many things are on the back burner that probably shouldn't be - and I don't have energy to care.
[mom, close your eyes] We haven't had sex in far too long, and you know why, because by 9:15p I am heading for the bed and by 9:17p I am in dreamland. I would like to do it... birth control is in place [thank you Mirena] so no worries on that front but pass the ENERGY please! [ok, mom, you can look now]
Thankfully I do find time to workout/run - just not as often/as much as I would like too.

So, while my little angel has a great routine going most days [at least she goes to bed b/w 7-8 every night and stays there until 7-8 in the morning], her mama is struggling. Some days are so good.... most are so far from that. I need to get this under control before I start school next month because it is only going to get worse.

Then again, the busier I get, the more organized and time efficient I get too....
Not the point!

I want to enjoy the summer, the sunshine, my family. What is/are/do you suggest as a good routine that will give me time to get it all done while working full time?!! [and yes, Mike does help do things around here!]

p.s. i have like, a zillion ADORABLE pictures to show you. but they are all still on my camera. see, just one more thing that isn't getting done!

un-answers

oh, sweet little girl, you are a tough case to crack.

We had the UGI on Thursday and our pedi called by 9a Friday with the results. No blockages, nothing "bad" - but constant, continuous reflux. [Mike and I actually were in the room during the test and we could see her refluxing on the x-ray machine - it was crazy]

"Solution" - thickened feedings w/ rice cereal.

Who would think to check the ingredients on rice cereal for milk or soy? Well - if your child is intolerant to either of these things, you should. Because we were using Gerber at first - insert screaming bloody murder here. Thanks to the genius of a good friend, we switched her to some organic, non-soy containing rice.

AND THEN she refused to eat. I cut the nipples so the stuff would come out, she didn't care. It took me, and I am not exaggerating here, TWO HOURS to get her to drink TWO OUNCES. Followed by another painstaking three ounces in an hour at her next feeding. Today was better, but it still is taking far too long - she is just plain not interested in eating.

Oh, and the food? It is still on me, her and the floor instead of in her belly. So - tell me how much this is helping please.... We aren't giving up yet, but I'm not holding my breath that this will make things all better.

So - really, we know nothing more than we did last week. But - the prevacid is starting to kick in I think, if you don't count the 3 screaming episodes of today....

Reflux Repeat

You may remember that little miss G is a reflux baby.

You may also remember that she we doubled the dose of her Zantac at her 2month well-check.

I haven't said too much else about it, because, we have just been dealing.

We had been noticing that she was eating LESS, crying MORE & projectile vomiting more for a few days. It got to a point where it clearly wasn't a "phase" - this little girl was miserable.

Truck back to the pedi on Tuesday- she has only gained 5oz in a month. OK, 25 days.

Switch to Prevacid.

Need to get more food into her a day & stay on the Alimentum for her MSPI. [good luck chuck]

Schedule Upper GI - this is today. I am not nervous or worried, I assumed we would have it done at this point. The girl can hit a target a few feet away when she pukes....and she does it all day, not everyday, but most. Not to mention the crying that follows...it's very sad!

I am thankful she sleeps all night, on her back (well - side). But daytime is bad for her - really REALLY bad. Because, lucky girl, has silent reflux along with the projectile stuff. She will gag and get really tense. Cry in her sleep.

So, we hope for some answers soon - and RELIEF! If you have a reflux baby too, like Jen & I, she wrote 2 really great posts about it recently - I recommend reading them.

Wordless Wednesday

Click here

[I love bath time!!]